7 Chinese Brothers

Cause it really doesn't have much of a plot, and the little that resembles a plot doesn't seem to make a ton of sense.

It's basically about a self-absorbed 'loser' who played by someone else other than Jason Swartzman would probably be tedious.

But Jason's natural charm and charisma redeems the character somewhat from feeling like a total prick and the 'movie' from being a total trainwreck.

I write movie as 'movie' because it really doesn't feel like a movie, it feels like maybe it would have worked better as a TV series split up to 3 parts instead (although I'm not sure that people would tune in every week to see the next episode).

There are some okay scenes, mainly the ones between Jason and his (also real life pet) dog, they have better chemistry together than Jason has with any of his human co-stars in the movie.

So I would only remotely recommend this to hardcore Jason fans who has to see everything he's in, if you're not too fussy about him give it a skip, if you dislike him then well you will without a doubt hate it.

Sometimes you watch a film and wonder to yourself 'what were they thinking when they made this movie?!'--such was my reaction when I watched this new and oddly named film starring Jason Schwartzman. Bob Byington wrote and directed this strange movie and it's one that left me confused and bored.

When the film begins, Larry (Schwartzman) is a complete slacker and a bit of a loser. He's just lost a job because he was caught stealing and he doesn't seem to care in the least. What he does care about are drinking, taking drugs and his dog (incidentally, this French Bulldog is actually Schwartzman's dog in real life). Later, when he gets a job in a quick lube store, you keep expecting Larry to somehow show that down deep he's capable of change and will become responsible and likable...which never really happens in any meaningful way. He is, throughout the entire film, a jerk who has serious issues and who doesn't seem to care about this nor does he see much of a need to change. There is a tiny change at the end...but clearly not enough to offer any real hope for the guy cleaning himself up and achieving something with his life.

This film is quirky...almost in a Wes Anderson sort of way, which is what I expected since Schwartzman frequently appears in Anderson's films. However, the quirkiness isn't humorous...just quirky and the film never really resonates with the audience. It's strange...just to be strange. And this soon becomes tedious. Had this been a short film, it might have been an interesting character study. But at 90 minutes and with a leading character you cannot help but dislike the film dragged. No sense of reason for all this seemed evident to me at any point. A clear misfire and I can see why this film went to straight to DVD very quickly. If you care, it's out this week but I wouldn't rush to see it unless you are a die-hard Schwartzman fan or you like long and ponderous films.

Larry (Jason Schwartzman) is a slacker with little ambition. He works a menial job at the oil change garage. He has his dog. He is joined by his grandmother (Olympia Dukakis). His friend Major Norwood gets him his drugs.

It's Schwartzman doing his slacker thing. For his fans, this may be interesting. Indie filmmaker Robert Byington is not strictly mumblecore. His dialog is not mumble but it has much of the indie sensibilities. In the end, there isn't much going on with this character. It's hard to tell if he cares or is he just scared like when he runs out on a sure thing with a girl. It makes it hard to care about him.

Jason Schwartzman is one of those actors whose films you generally either love or maybe kind of hate. 7 Chinese Brothers (2015) is a film that is definitely no exception, but for those of us who are fans, it hits the mark head on. The film is a character study of Larry, a 30- something slacker and all around aimless weirdo ambling through his days trying to keep himself amused. The brainchild of director Bob Byington, this strange character loses his job at a restaurant after being caught stealing booze from the bar into his big gulp, only to find himself at war with the restaurant manager in an absurd ongoing battle that amusingly recurs throughout the film. Larry spends the bulk of his time discussing life with his lethargic boston terrier Arrow, Schwartzman's real-life dog and real-deal star of the show. Arrow is hilariously nonplussed and adorably immortalized in this film - his sedate screen presence as well as the evident bond between him and his owner contributes immeasurably to the tone of the film and the character, as well as its overall charm.

This film is low on actual plot lines, but there are a number of other characters with whom Larry interacts during his day to day. His best friend Major, played by TV On The Radio frontman Babatunde Adebimpe, helps to ground the antics of our main character, but his lucky life also serves to make stark the unlucky fortune of the far more everyday and unremarkable Larry. Olympia Dukakis is flawless as Larry's grandmother and voice of reason, with whom his self-concerned attitude makes itself evident early in the film. So while little of note actually happens throughout the film, we have ample opportunity to explore the recesses of this odd character's mind as well as watch his gradual arch towards some personal growth. The film's camera-work is primarily that shaky, hand-held feel that's currently relentlessly popular in this style of film. Byington really makes viewers feel as though they're following Larry around and watching him mess up, be erratic, and embarrass himself real-time. The camera is right in Schwartzman's face through the majority of the film so his acting had to be spot on to carry this film, and he succeeds in being both comically on-point and pointedly Larry at all times. The character never slips once while the audience eats up all of his bizarre habits, like imitating a fat kid getting out of a pool on every possible countertop, as only Schwartzman delivers this signature kind of absurdity with his particular sort of grace.

7 Chinese Brothers is strange, it's meandering, and it's even a little bit boring at times. It is possible that critics of Schwartzman could suggest that this sort of character exploration is just another means to show off and glorify that thing that he does, that quirky indie, alternative film thing for which Jason Schwartzman is sort of the posterboy. While we sat in the theater and the film came to a close, my partner even turned to me and just said "I don't get it, what is this movie about?" And that's the thing, it's not really about anything in particular. There's no genius, deep message in this storyline; while there's an element of wanting to connect and find a sort of joie de vivre here, these themes are dominated by just the sheer wandering into the character that dominates the screen time. Yet its richness can be found in the experience of watching an artist create a character that audiences simply want to watch. These are the sorts of ideas from which cult films spring, where there's just something that hooks you and reels you in about the world created by those involved in its production. This is what Jason Schwartzman is really good at and here Bob Byington has successfully crafted a memorable space that allowed him to do his thing delightfully. 7 Chinese Brothers is just right for those that found themselves psyched just on seeing its advertisement, and you know who you are. If you aren't one of those people, maybe you could just go to see Arrow in all his drowsy glory.

As I overheard someone going out of its showing at the Traverse City Film Festival saying "That was fricking torture." A story about an unlikable slacker going nowhere, the movie is filled with people uttering painfully unfunny lines. At first the packed theater politely laughed and by the end of this pointless 75 minutes the audience was dead silent (or asleep). I won't dwell on the plot because there is none. Sorry if I sound angry but it was a wasted evening and $24 for my wife and me.

How sad that Olympia Dukakis has let herself sink to the level of appearing in a movie this banal. Jason Schwartzman's pug Arrow is the only star that earned his pay.

Stay away. (2/10)