Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

This isn't a good movie. Maybe cute, but not good. It's not even funny.

With the reviews here, I was expecting a terrible movie. I probably wouldn't have bothered with it but it was a free On Demand option recently. The worst thing about it was the lengthy setup, with plenty of exposition from the previous film followed by a lot of nothing before the actual story takes place. Once that began, I thought it had reasonably funny moments reminiscent of the original. I also appreciated that it had no memorable profanity that would have made it unsuitable for children, like so many "family" films these days. However, it was a one and done film; I don't see subjecting myself to repeat viewings.

Now, of course this movie isn't going to be a blockbuster film, nor will it top the number one spot for movies. However, being 16, this movie made me CRACK UP, and die of laughter. Right off the bat, it gets you in tears of joy. This movie as mentioned above, isn't like Fast and Furious 7 crying, but a happy tear (RIP PW). PLOT: Paul Blart(Kevin James) returns in Mall Cop 2, yet he is sent to Vegas for a "Mall Cop Seminar", and when he is there, he discovers a covert operation, thieving art. This movie doesn't have the "Taken" fighting scenes, but more of a kid fighting style. Absolute perfection in the comedy department. AGE: This movie is honestly great for ALL ages, whether you're 64, or 6, this movie will make you laugh. RATING: I give this a 7/10, because well its Mall Cop... not the best plot/content/acting aside from Kevin James & David Henrie, but higher than the avg because it made me laugh, and I enjoyed myself. FINAL RESULT: I would recommend this movie to anyone looking for a fun night out, whether you're on a date, or a family movie night. Great Movie!

Mall Cop 2 is directed by Andy Fickman and stars Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, David Henrie and Neal Mcdonough. Basically, the plot is that after six years of keeping the malls safe, Paul Blart has earned a vacation to Vegas for a conference with other security guards. He heads to Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But safety never takes a holiday when a gang of people try to steal some paintings. I really enjoyed the first Mall Cop movie and it is one of my favourite comedies of recent years. The first one was directed by Steve Carr and you can really tell the change of director. This movie is set in Las Vegas and I really liked the fact that they changed the setting because it was more conducive to comedy and a much funnier place. Kevin James in the movie is as funny as the first one, I couldn't think of anyone else to play his role and he does it perfectly. He is really funny in the movie and is really dedicated to his role. A thing that the first movie was missing but that this one got right is that the sidekicks where actually funny and added a lot to the story. For instance, the other Mall Cops where as funny as Kevin James and that definitely added a lot to the movie. The first had no real sidekicks and though Kevin James was funny he could have needed the help of others to make it better. I really like this style of comedies and Mall Cop 2 did it very well. A lot of good jokes and memorable moments. My only issue was that the movie takes about 25 minutes to really get going. The first part of the movie is slow but does have a few good gags. But once it gets started it is great! This movie was as good as the first one because of a minor issue but the setting and story was better than the first movie and that's why I highly recommend checking this movie out. It is a perfect summer movie that isn't too long and that will make laugh everyone from all ages. Check it out and have a lot of fun!

Speed 2. Caddyshack 2. Exorcist 2. Star Wars Episode II. These are what are typically named as the worst direct sequels ever.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 may be worse than a quadruple feature of all of those. I mean it when I say Paul Blart 2 is one of the most unfunny, moronic, brain cell killing experiences I've had in a cinema. There's an extended sequence where an old man eats a rotten banana that goes on for around 15 seconds. The film begins with Blart's elderly mom getting killed by a milk truck. There's a part where Blart interrupts a stage show and knocks out all the dancers by spinning around on a rope while squealing. There's a part where Blart is attacked by and beats an exotic bird while a piano player nods and smiles (DUDE JUXTAPOSITION LMAO). There's a entire segment dedicated to showcasing multiple Checkov's Guns in the form of a mall cop convention (As if those even existed). I dunno … I didn't enjoy it.

Blart is somehow more unlikable this time around. Rather than a smug dumbass, he's now a smug asshole. The "film" is 50% him making fun of people, 30% Blart falling down, 20% plot holes, and 0% funny. I maybe chucked at some points, but truth is I don't even remember the movie or what it was I chucked at. I can say for sure there are more helicopter shots reminding the target audience (Who to be fair also probably need to be reminded to breathe and blink) that the movie is set in Vegas than there were chuckles.

You know that rotten banana I mentioned? Paul Blart 2 is that banana, and the man eating is is the decrepit and moronic public eating up the film's schlock yet again, probably paving the way for another opportunity for Adam Sandler and co. to shill even more money out of Hollywood for his posse. Like my painful experience with Transformers 4, people once again applauded upon conclusion, one elderly couple saying "That was too funny!"

There's tastes in humor and then there's standards in humor. Paul Blart 2 wasn't unfunny to me because it did not pander to my sense of humor. If anything it should have; with all the misogyny and ridiculing of fat people it should have struck my dark humor funny bone. However, there's no gags, there's no punchlines, there's no jokes. There's also no emotional backbone, chemistry, or even real characters to back it up. Characters literally appear and disappear throughout the narrative. I don't even think the villain had a name. I don't think anyone not buds with Blart had one.

This time around, not only is Paul Blart a bland copy of Die Hard, but Taken and Ocean's 11. The plot is a cluster-f of nothing. The first 45 minutes are, like I mentioned, just Blart riding around and getting up in everyone's faces for "comedic" purposes, with plenty of empty time given for the target audience to laugh hysterically at like a bad sitcom. The actual "Paul Blart beating baddies" isn't until the film's finale, and even then he doesn't actually beat anyone, because all of his "weapons" are stupidly non-lethal, including a stun gun that only stuns people for 5 seconds, a gun that shoots gum, a gun that spills marbles vertically, and a bean bag cannon. Two characters actually fall asleep in the movie, one of them twice. I felt a kinship to them for that reason.

There's a romantic subplot with Blart's daughter and a bellhop that goes literally nowhere and an even more forced "romantic subplot" between a hotel manager and Blart. She gets progressively wetter and wetter for him throughout the film, which to me is too far of a stretch of imagination to comprehend and accept. This also leads to nowhere. The female cop on the horse in he trailer? That is literally the ending. Blart himself is beyond unlikable and revolting. He is not reluctant like John McClain from Die Hard, he craves to be the center of attention since his saving on the mall 6 years ago became utterly irrelevant the day after (I wish I could say the same for the movie itself). He's incompetent, rude, crude, and physically unable to actually do anything heroic. He'd make a good anti-hero if he wasn't presented as this humble all American goody two shoes as the movie does.

The movie doesn't even take place in a mall. What's up with that? With truly atrocious jokeless dialogue ("I will bring a folk guitar to a pumpkin fight, because that's how crazy I am!"), beyond unlikable characters, an incompetent lead, a transparent and personality-less villain, disappearing subplots, stretched imagination, cliché and trope filled writing I can say Baul Plart: pop Tart Too is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Offensively stupid and brash, this blatant cashgrab managed one seemingly impossible feat, sink even lower than the previous film. Utterly baffling, this 1.5 hour Wynn commercial (Not a single scene takes place outside of it once they arrive) is to me the Transformers 2 of comedy, a wretched anorexic piece with no soul, craft, or effort put into it at all. The fraction of points I award it are for the laughs my friends and I had at making fun of it and a single shot that lasted a third of a second that looked pretty cool.