Jafaican

So it's obviously a low budget film - I wasn't expecting an Oscar worthy movie but this really was terrible. The script was so poor, no real plot, an abrupt ending that seemed like they just ran out of money! Great to see a couple of gems in it like Sizzla and Oliver Samuels but they were the only highlights. Peter Andre was terrible - couldn't even be bothered to go to a dialect coach so instead they just dubbed a Jamaican accent on him. When he did speak with an English accent he was trying to sound like a Southern Geeza but randomlly kept coming out with 'me gran' as though he was a Northerner - just bizarre. One minute calling his grandmother 'nan' the next 'gran' - make your mind up! Even the grandmother couldn't act! I think most the cast were probably promised a Guy Richie style brit film but what was delivered was even worse than an episode of Hollyoaks!

Jafaican, starring the utterly baffling choice of Peter Andre, isn't just a bad movie; it's a cinematic head-scratcher that leaves you wondering, Why? From its cringe-inducing premise to its painfully amateur execution, this film is a testament to how not to approach cultural storytelling.

The plot, if one can call it that, feels like a fever dream cobbled together from forgotten tourist brochures and a Wikipedia search of Jamaican stereotypes. The script is a jumbled mess of tired tropes and exposition dumps that fail to build any believable world or character motivations.

Visually, it is equally uninspired. What could have been an opportunity to showcase the vibrant beauty of Jamaica instead feels like a series of generic postcard shots, poorly lit and haphazardly edited.

Ultimately, the movie is a bewildering and tone-deaf exercise in filmmaking. It fails spectacularly on nearly every front, offering neither genuine entertainment nor insightful commentary. Avoid at all costs.

"Gazza" (Peter Andre) is in the boozer regaling his mates with a story that is so remarkable that his best mate "Johnzie" (Jamie Lomas) thinks it's going to blow their socks off. He was facing disaster with his beloved nan looking like she was about to be turfed out of her care home unless he can find £35,000! There is virtually no hope he can manage this until he discovers that he is the doppelgänger of an imprisoned Jamaican gangster who is about to inherit $3 millions. He comes up with a plan to learn the patois, don the dreads and head to the sunshine with his mentor "Winston" (Wil Johnson) to try and convince the local population that he is the true heir! Can he pull it off? Preposterous? Well, yes. It's clearly a labour of love for Andre and director Fredi Nwaka who did just about everything on this production, but the film just doesn't work. The script is weak and contrived and even though the supporting cast, especially the scene stealing "Uncle Godfrey" (Oliver Samuels) do inject some life into the film at times, the whole production is little better than amateur and misses way more than it hits. There's a lively soundtrack but that's about the height of it.

Peter Andre couldn't sing and now he has proved he can't act either. If you want to waste an hour and a half of your life go ahead fill your boots. It really is laughable that some reviewers give this dire movie 8 or even 10/10 (obviously family or involved in the making of this cr@p). Just my opinion of course, but be warned, if you are a serious moviegoer prepare to agree with me.

This movie is not as bad as some say, but could have been better. I understand the concerns that some have about Peter Andre dressing up as a black man, but that is the whole premise of the story and it seemed to me that it was done for fun and not to intentionally offend anyone.

The movie is a bit messy with some pretty odd and unbelievable characters especially at the beginning which takes place in England. The scenes of him trying to get money from various criminal characters was a bit drawn out and should have been shorter as it made things seem to drag out a lot. But when they get to Jamaica things got a bit better.

It was great to see Oliver Samuels, a Jamaican comedian who has done some really funny things in the past, but is probably unknown to many outside of Jamaica.

For my money, any movie that shows the beauty of Jamaica is worth watching, but the thing that spoiled things was the overuse of profanity. Far too many F words, especially at the beginning and it was so unnecessary and ruined what could have been a good comedy.

However I gave this 5 stars because it had its funny moments.