La croisière mystère

This made for TV movie had the potential to much better than it turned out as it was based on Santa Cruise By Carol & Mary Higgins Clark. Unfortunately, the film suffers from everything.

The acting is mediocre at best, irksome at the worst. Since there are some credible and experienced actors in the cast I have to deduce it comes down to the director's decision and vision of the movie. Even the leading ladies aren't ... from this, there are some times when Gail O'Grady actually looks lost and confused. A lot of the actors were wasted on this production; and I would have loved to have seen Larry Miller, who always brings joy to every one of his characters, actually have a different role than that of a stumbling, bumbling, lovable husband, father, or uncle - he has this style of role down pat, it'd be nice to see him in a darker and meatier character.

Not having read the novel I cannot fairly criticise the adaptation though, for the most part, the story works. I think part of the trouble is in the title because it deceives the viewer into believing this is a whodunnit. Though what the audience gets is no mystery at all. Though the two "lady sleuths" - one a real detective, the other a mystery whodunnit genius - are guests aboard a murder mystery cruise when it becomes evident that a real murder might be committed and the duo set out to stop the killer before she can kill. That's right I said she but this isn't a spoiler as we are shown this right from the start. This is a story which shows the viewer how the killer is caught. Unfortunately, with this type of story, you need good direction and acting to keep the audience involved, which as I stated previously isn't here.

As for the direction itself, I would put this at below standard even for TV movie. A lot of the shots are lazy and unimaginative, though there are quite a few scenes where these could have been improved. There were also times when lighting and music could have helped with building atmosphere, for example, the cruise is set in old west times and the guests are in costumes, it would've been nice to have a piano player on board and they could have gone the whole hog and used lanterns - this could just be me going to far, but if you watch the film you'll see it needs something. Then you have the pace of the film, which is just a little too slow and feels as though the story is crawling.

This isn't the worst movie ever made it is pretty average though, but if you're off sick and it's wet outside and this is the only thing on TV that you've not seen then you can give it a go. It'll pass an hour and a half.

This was a total disappointment from the book. Alvirah Meehan is a 60 year old woman who spent most of her life working as a cleaning lady, not some 25 year old married to a 60 year old. The book and characters was definitely not the same as the movies and thus a GREAT disappointment. If you can't stick closely to the book, don't make the movie.

'The Mystery Cruise' (2013)

Opening thoughts: Despite how this may sound, there is absolutely no personal bias against the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries films. And this reviewer was certainly not expecting to hate 'The Mystery Cruise' from the get go. Have actually been pleasantly surprised by quite a number of Movies and Mysteries films, particularly the more recent films, and absolutely loved the premise and its potential mix of 'Clue' (one of my favourites) and Agatha Christie (my favourite author).

'The Mystery Cruise' just didn't deliver on most levels. Actually failing terribly on the most crucial areas. It is not quite one of the worst Hallmark Movies and Mysteries films, as nothing here actually insulted my intelligence like too many of the later ones have. But considering how great the premise was and as someone who has always loved the mystery genre, it is up there with the biggest missed opportunities with more bad things than good. Not a complete waste, but not good at all.

Good things: Did think that there were good things here. Larry Miller is dependably solid in his role, it is not an unfamiliar type of role for him (can understand where a previous reviewer is coming from when saying it would have been even more impressive if he playes against type) but he plays it with real engaging preaence and is the only actor who seems to know what sort of film he is in.

Also thought that some of the scenery and lighting was suitably moody and atmospheric.

Bad things: Nothing else works sadly. The rest of the actors go through the motions and generate very little personality or ease. The two leads look bored and their chemistry is disconnected. Didn't care for any of the characters, who are little more than severely under-developed genre archetypes wandering in and out. They are also so poorly introduced that most of the first third was spent trying to find out who was who.

Moreover, 'The Mystery Cruise' is very unimaginatively shot, indifferently directed (indicative of inexperience or someone not hugely familiar with the genre) and the choppy editing gives a confusingly choppy sensation. The script is mundane at best and doesn't flow very well, some of the latter parts on the melodramatic side and the attempts at cuteness and light-hearted-ness mostly felt out of place. The story jumps around a lot, takes a while to get going, plods in pace, lacks severely suspense and has too many turns that are predictable and under-explained. The beginning is one of the worst for any film seen in a long time, not just confusing but actually incoherent and reminiscent of a defective DVD skipping constantly, which made the film feel constantly choppy and incomplete.

Closing thoughts: Overall, very weak and underwhelming.

3/10.

All you have to do is watch "Deck the Halls" and the casting for that movie. Scottie Thompson (Regan), Kathy Najimy (Alvirah), Larry Miller (Willie), David Selby (Luke), Jane Alexander (Nora), etc. The actors in this movie just seem miscast to me but that is only my opinion.

The book probably offered the bones that made this filmable. The D. P. did good work in tight spaces with limited lighting options. Director might not have decided if this was a farce or something else. For me what was most needed and not provided was a dialogue coach. Unless the intent was to be over the top farcical. But that would not explain the opening scene where no one was playing a mystery character.

There was a lot of eye rolling by the cast and surely more by viewers if they paid attention to the accents and acting.

Really remarkable boat though. With a name that makes sense given its location.