The Finnish Line

This is not only one of my all-time favourite Hallmark Christmas movies, it is one of my all-time favourite Hallmark movies of any theme. In fact, apart from the expected romance, and family love, this was not a 'typical' Hallmark. Many have been distinctive by their excellent direction and/or quality performances, this story has a beautifully written screenplay that is perfectly executed acting. The actors brought brand new character types that were intriguing and unexpected. It's also fun to learn about other cultures and customs, in this case, those of Finland. I guarantee we will be looking forward seeing this movie replayed every year.

I actually had to make an account just to make this review because I can't believe what I even just watched.

No Finnish actors hired for this, no one knew how to speak or pronounce Finnish, some of the cultural facts were just blatantly incorrect and some of the town names even were spelled wrong. I don't think anyone Finnish was actually involved in writing or fact checking this mess. You know none of the Finnish characters even had Finnish names? At one point they butchered the grammar of something so bad that it sounded pretty lewd to an actual Finnish ear, which at least was hilarious even tho surprising.

I mean it's a Hallmark movie so what are we expecting but I think the minimum requirement when using another country and culture as a setting is to honor that and not use it as a butchered trope that you probably only asked chatgpt about. If you made a movie that was set in Japan would you hire Russians to pretend to be Japanese while speaking butchered Japanese off paper while your American white girl adventures there?

It's a shame because I don't think the acting for the leads was bad and the story was almost cute. I was so excited to see a foreign movie about Finland too. The girl best friend character is very cute and supportive, and of course the dogs were completely adorable and the relationship building and chemistry was fine. But I could not in good conscience recommend this to anyone who actually cares, talk about cultural appropriation.

6.2 stars.

For the cool scenery and wonderful icy Finland and all that good stuff, this movie is nothing special for me. A good Hallmark film must evoke a sense of whimsy, romance, or endearment, but this sparks only a bit of each.

The dog sledding and racing aspects are interesting, but they are such a minor part of the movie that they are basically inconsequential until the very end. And there is a bit of suspense, but it doesn't redeem the story.

The script focuses mainly on the relationship of the two leads, but it's professional with an utter lack of heart or excitement. The only remaining possibility would be humor, which is completely absent.

I don't see the point of 'The Finnish Line'.

I want you to listen and I want you to believe me when I say that this is the best Christmas movie Hallmark has ever released.

This is down to Beau Mirchoff, the male lead.

I can't say I was extremely familiar with Beau's oeuvre before seeing this. But I did look him up prior to watching, just to check how hot he was and whatnot. He was hot. I decided to watch.

Hallmark's men are usually average or just above average looking - attractive enough to entice the lonely midwestern housewives who watch these movies (us!) but not so hot that they're unattainable. That is not the case with Beau. Beau is unequivocally out of our league.

But wait for it. As if that wasn't enough, The Finnish Line contains the longest shirtless scene in any Hallmark Christmas movie (I know because I have watched all of them - don't worry about it).

And what a scene it is. What a chest.

It begins at 41:54 (you're welcome) when we catch Beau and the female lead - don't ask me anything about her, I didn't look at her once - standing by a carved round hole in a frozen lake.

Beau is wearing is brown-ish plaid robe, which he proceeds to peel off before climbing into the freezing water. We get a few good shots of his full body while this is happening (he's tall, broad-shouldered, athletic) and catch first glimpse of his giant furry chest. Then the girl also gets in or whatever and they stay there chatting for about a minute.

But then, when you thought this is over and are getting ready to go back and replay that undressing sequence to make sure it's seared into your mind's eye for a good year at least, Hallmark decides to take it to a new, unprecedented level.

At 42:48 we get...Beau in a sauna.

And there is nothing to obstruct his luscious milk jugs here. No robe, no freezing water, no fast edits, no plot. Just close up, lingering shots of his face and torso, cropped just above the waist, transforming his massive pecs into a central character of the movie, one whose story and pathos we're emphatically invested in, a character worthy of its own sequel.

The scene ends at 44:48 and the audience reaches out for a cigarette.

Will we get that sequel? A Christmas movie about Beau Mirchoff's furry pecs? If Hallmark has any sense, we will. That's a Christmas miracle worth believing in.

We get a few of these movies each year. Hallmark takes us to a foreign country and lets our American (er, often Canadian) leads learn the culture and traditions of the holidays. Often they require a slog of tasks, failing to bring any joy or life to the treasured past (see The Christmas Quest).

But I'm relieved to see how The Finnish Line took that formula and built a very watchable movie, with drama and believe it or not - a real action sequence!

Our lead is Anya (Kim Matula), a legacy dog sled racer returning to a holiday-themed race in Finland where her late father competed. She's joined by bestie and race support teamster Elyse (Nichole Sakura). Our love interest is Cole (Beau Mirchoff), a journalist and former racer himself, who gives our lead someone to monologue to about her feelings.

I did not exactly buy the love story with Anya and Cole, as it seemed like winning the race and beating jerk-face Monty (Páll Sigþór Pálsson) was more interesting. The B love story with Elyse and Anya's cousin Lavi (Benedikt Gröndal) was much cuter and genuine.

We got to see a few fun Finnish traditions, but it didn't seem to slow down the action (again, see the dreadful The Christmas Quest). The dog sled action was great, although I've seen some dog sled folks before and none of them look like Kim Matula. Pretty well kept for the cold temps and dog hair.

Speaking of our lead. You'll recognize her from the Ghosts of Christmas Always (a rare 9 stars for me, 2022). She was also in Checkin' It Twice (6 stars, 2023), which again brought her to cold places. She's great. Nichole Sakura may seem familiar too, for those who loved Superstore like I did. I'd love to see her get a Hallmark lead role.

Overall, a very watchable movie that tweaks the foreign country angle just enough to make it fresh.

Cast Kudos: Anya's cousin Lavi (Benedikt Gröndal). Let's bring that dude to the states and just let him be himself. Loved that guy.

Measuring Christmas Magic: Was this a Christmas movie . . . Yeah, because we learned about Finnish traditions, but did it feel like Santa delivered presents on Christmas morning? No.

Alternative Movie Titles: The Paws of Christmas; Sledding through Finland; Finnish-ing My Father's Race. To be fair, the original title was absolutely fine.