Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark

You know your career has tanked when you're the lead actor and actress in a mega shark movie. I don't know what Worf was thinking, but he's even worse here than in New Generation. The Elizabeth Rohm character is the tired old bad @as super woman character who tries to save the day by jumping into the mecha's mouth. Have these people EVER taken acting lessons? The part that killed me was her driving at high speed, while talking to Worf, with her eyes not even on the road. Good example for young drivers there lady! Maybe the fans of these travesties of film making watch them dueling bong parties or something. Please... just stop.

But I can't.

I gave 2 stars though purely for the fact that it had me laughing at how bad it is. Also because I now feel a lot calmer, having rid myself of any hatred in me, by focusing it on this trash.

The Mega Shark movies are the kind that aren't to be expected much from, but even with that in mind I personally didn't consider Giant Octopus or Crocosaurus particularly good, some fun moments, mostly for the so-bad-it's-good value there was, but mostly they were too amateurish and ridiculous to take it even for what they were. Mecha Shark is the best of the three but from personal opinion it was only passable. It is the best-looking of the trilogy definitely, the scenery is very nice as well as the underwater shots and the editing is reasonable. The score is catchy and in a way drives the movie rather than bog it down. The special effects are better than average if not great, a huge improvement on its predecessors anyhow(and I'd go as far to say that much of the underwater stuff was quite good), sure there are a few ropey ones here and there. Much of the acting is not bad at all despite not having very strong material to work with, the playing-it-straight approach is adopted and it suits the movie just fine, doing it without going through the motions. Elisabeth Rohm and Christopher Judge are commanding leads. And the last act is a lot of fun, the pace is snappier and while inevitably predictable some of it is amusing and at times endearingly silly. There is an exception regarding the acting and that is Deborah Gibson in her brief appearance, if she had a bigger role she would have come across as less phoned in. The characters are not annoying as such but are not very interesting, and that is including the shark who is more goofy than menacing. The script mistakes insultingly cheesy for snappy, the jargon is really stilted too and a lot of scenes have dialogue and voice-overs that over-explain things. If there was one word to describe the script, bloated would be it. The concept was ridiculous in the first place, but two thirds of Mecha Shark is rather indifferent until the last act really picks up. That it's predictable is to be expected, but the suffocating pacing, lack of tension or suspense and scenes that are very derivative, with a few parts reminiscent of those from its predecessors(like the mid-air leap jet chomp from Giant Octopus) but also reading too much of inferior copies. They were mildly fun previously while making you feel stupid at the same time, here they were just tired. All in all, at best it's reasonably fun and it is easily the best of the Mega Shark trilogy. But while it is a significant improvement technically and acting-wise, there could have been room to have more fun and the improvement does not translate into the writing department, with a sense of not just trying to do too much but also feeling very bland and indifferent. 4/10 Bethany Cox

Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark (2014)

BOMB (out of 4)

Once upon a time we were given GODZILLA VS. MECHA GODZILLA but The Asylum has delivered a giant killer shark vs. a man-made steel shark. That's pretty much the only storyline that you need as we have a giant real shark doing damage so the government creates a mechanical shark to go after it. Oh yeah, Christopher Judge and Elizabeth Rohm play a couple trying to kill the real shark. This is the third film in the series and perhaps I'm just growing tired of them but I really, really, really hated this movie with a strong passion. Yes, the first two films in the series were bad but so are countless other "one giant vs. another giant" movies. I really don't expect great acting, award-winning direction or anything of good quality but I do hope to be entertained at the very least. A lot of times these movies are entertaining simply because they're just downright fun and know not to that themselves very seriously. Sadly, that's not the case here as the screenplay, direction and everything else is so serious and so over-dramatic that you really have to wonder if anyone had ever seen one of these films before. Why on Earth this thing was made so boring, so dramatic and so unfunny is beyond me but there's just not a single second of this film that's entertaining. Even worse is that the movie doesn't really feature any good kill scenes with the two monsters and instead of action scenes we're given really bad dialogue sequences that just drag on and never go anywhere. The performances are what you'd expect from a movie like this so I'm not going to blame the actors too much. The direction certainly isn't all that memorable and especially with some downright awful and horrendous slow-motion sequences, which just made me want to hit the stop button. Again, if you're going to make a low-budget monster movie like this, don't forget you're making a low-budget monster movie. Those who view these want to have fun.

Some of the stars from other shows must have hit the skids and been hard up for money to do this.