Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark

Previously, "Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus" (2010) ended with the prehistoric creatures fighting their way into a murky abyss. They were both declared dead. How we get a third "Mega Shark" movie begins in Alexandria, Egypt. There, an iceberg cracks and releases "another" of the prehistoric shark creatures. As you might imagine, this one is also very destructive. It begins by decapitating the Sphinx of Giza. This is great loss for civilization – and an incredible feat for a water-based shark. Fortunately, the Americans have built a shark-looking submarine to fight off prehistoric sharks. This "Mecha Shark" is a mechanical version of the destructive monster. Helmed by navigating co-stars Christopher Judge (as Jack Turner) and Elisabeth Rohm (as Rosie Gray), "Mecha Shark" sets out to do battle with the new "Mega Shark"...

Compared to the first two "Mega Shark" movies, this is "Citizen Kane"...

Most obviously, the direction and performances are improved. This time, director Emile Edwin Smith and his "Asylum" crew make the most of their limited resources. The special effects are far from state of the art – but, there is a sense of place. The best "effect" is the mechanical shark's unseen computer voice, NERO, who helps navigate the submarine. NERO recalls HAL from "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968) – but without the smarmy, underlying sinister tone. The co-starring couple, Mr. Judge and Ms. Rohm, strike the right acting chords and have some chemistry. We hope Rohm and NERO will keep Judge from smoking. From the first film, we see Deborah "Debbie" Gibson in a superfluous cameo. Cheers to Paul Anderson as NERO's voice. Jeers to the series' relentless degrading of the science-fiction/horror film genre.

**** Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (1/24/14) Emile Edwin Smith ~ Christopher Judge, Elisabeth Rohm, Matt Lagan, Paul Anderson

You know your career has tanked when you're the lead actor and actress in a mega shark movie. I don't know what Worf was thinking, but he's even worse here than in New Generation. The Elizabeth Rohm character is the tired old bad @as super woman character who tries to save the day by jumping into the mecha's mouth. Have these people EVER taken acting lessons? The part that killed me was her driving at high speed, while talking to Worf, with her eyes not even on the road. Good example for young drivers there lady! Maybe the fans of these travesties of film making watch them dueling bong parties or something. Please... just stop.

'Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark' is a monster/disaster film directed by Emile Edwin Smith and released straight to DVD in early 2014. The film is the third instalment of the 'Mega Shark Trilogy', successor to 'Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus' and 'Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus'. The film stars Christopher Judge and Elisabeth Röhm, with Debbie Gibson reprising her role as Emma MacNeil from the first film.

Following a similar plot to its predecessors, our protagonists are confronted by a bloodthirsty megalodon intent on causing havoc off the coast of Australia, and are left side-lined as their own creation designed to destroy the shark – a robot called Mecha Shark – begins an autonomous unforeseen attack following a communication failure. Following an encouraging opening, the film quickly delves into the series' formula of unoriginal and repetitive set pieces attempting to subdue the creatures, whilst an implausible romance blooms. The narrative of films like 'Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark' demands the lowest of expectations from audiences, and whilst the film surpasses these nethermost expectations, it sadly offers little to even be classed in the 'so bad it's good' category.

Performances across the board are satisfactory, but there is a gargantuan non-existence of wit and tongue-in-cheek moments which begs the question why a film entitled 'Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark' is taking itself so earnestly. Undeniably the film offers brief moments of gratification – a shark destroying the head of an Egyptian sphinx can only be a good thing. On majority though the film feels stale and, considering the film's title, it would have been beneficial to give much more screen time to the clash between the Mega Shark and the Mecha Shark.

'Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark' is a formulaic and uninspired film which begs for, believe it not, more destruction and mayhem. Not totally without merit, the film isn't the lowest of the low of its genre, but is certainly does not amaze or thrill.

This is a long 1,5 hours of your life. The movie is fast paced and never stopped. So much is put it, it must have been a 1000page script. The goofs are quite numerous, it seems nobody read the 1000 page script for errors. Maybe they just didn't want to give you time to think. Or they had a brainstorm and decided to add all ideas into it.

I can't remember the music or sounds of the movie. The acting is worthy of a porno movie. The visuals are there. and literally anything is possible

Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark (2014)

BOMB (out of 4)

Once upon a time we were given GODZILLA VS. MECHA GODZILLA but The Asylum has delivered a giant killer shark vs. a man-made steel shark. That's pretty much the only storyline that you need as we have a giant real shark doing damage so the government creates a mechanical shark to go after it. Oh yeah, Christopher Judge and Elizabeth Rohm play a couple trying to kill the real shark. This is the third film in the series and perhaps I'm just growing tired of them but I really, really, really hated this movie with a strong passion. Yes, the first two films in the series were bad but so are countless other "one giant vs. another giant" movies. I really don't expect great acting, award-winning direction or anything of good quality but I do hope to be entertained at the very least. A lot of times these movies are entertaining simply because they're just downright fun and know not to that themselves very seriously. Sadly, that's not the case here as the screenplay, direction and everything else is so serious and so over-dramatic that you really have to wonder if anyone had ever seen one of these films before. Why on Earth this thing was made so boring, so dramatic and so unfunny is beyond me but there's just not a single second of this film that's entertaining. Even worse is that the movie doesn't really feature any good kill scenes with the two monsters and instead of action scenes we're given really bad dialogue sequences that just drag on and never go anywhere. The performances are what you'd expect from a movie like this so I'm not going to blame the actors too much. The direction certainly isn't all that memorable and especially with some downright awful and horrendous slow-motion sequences, which just made me want to hit the stop button. Again, if you're going to make a low-budget monster movie like this, don't forget you're making a low-budget monster movie. Those who view these want to have fun.