Henchmen

The disclaimer for the Union of Evil reads WARNING: Contrary to the previous statement, the quote/unquote strings are no (sic) only attached, but are plentiful. Each and every citizen residing in Supervillain City must extend to the Union of Evil no less than ten (10) years of service. During which, the Union will not be held accountable to repercussions of revenge or monetary gain in the likely event of harm or the even likelier outcome that a painful death should befall upon you. Forms of such harm include, but are not limited to: superhero attacks, broken bones, loss of limbs, loss of broken bones found within limbs, constipation, results from prolonged exposure to radioactivity, shin splints, gluten allergies, forgetting how to ride a bicycle despite people constantly telling you it's not possible, paper cuts, a sudden interest or love of soft jazz, sore throat - you know what, it's essentially everything. Alright? Listen, if we say "jump" you say "how high." If we say "bye" you say "Felicia," if we say "be a potato" you say nothing because potatoes don't speak. Just do as you're told, don't sue the Union of Evil, and expect to die a horrible death. Cool.

References Friday (1995)