Nadaaniyan: Les cœurs naïfs

Ah, Naadaaniyan. I walked in with the wide-eyed optimism of a cat chasing a laser pointer, especially with Ibrahim's debut and the faint hope that Khushi Kapoor had, like a software update, fixed some glitches since her last outing. Alas, the laser pointer led me straight into a brick wall.

Khushi, bless her heart, clearly tried. It was like watching someone assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions - some parts fit, others... well, let's just say they're now abstract art. The romantic and college scenes were flatter than a politician's apology. Her emotional scenes were a slight improvement, but still not enough to make me care.

Then there's Ibrahim. He's got the Saif Ali Khan starter pack, complete with the signature smolder and that 'I just woke up looking this good' vibe. But honestly, watching him was like looking at a vintage photo of Saif - nostalgic, but I was hoping for a fresh Polaroid, not a faded reprint. I wanted Ibrahim, not Saif 2.0.

The supporting cast? Suniel Shetty, Dia Mirza, Jugal Hansraj, and Archana Puran Singh were like reliable sidekicks, always there to pick up the slack. But Mahima Chaudhary... oh, Mahima. It was like she'd swapped her acting chops for a really good nap. A long, forgetful nap. I was rooting for her comeback, but it felt more like a "come-back-later-when-you-remember-your-lines" moment.

The music? It was so bland, it's made me question my entire understanding of melody. And the direction by debutant Shauna Gautam was mediocre at best. As the captain of the ship, she should have steered the film more carefully instead of heading straight for an iceberg. On the bright side, Anuj Samtani's cinematography was like the only lifeboat that worked - visually pleasing, but ultimately, it couldn't save the whole sinking experience.

Overall, a solid 3/10. I was truly naadaan to have such high hopes. I've learned my lesson, though. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rewatch something with a plot that doesn't feel like it was written on a napkin during a bumpy bus ride.