Jurassic City

This is officially the worst movie I have ever seen. Every single aspect is a train wreck, from the totally implausible plot to the incredibly crappy special effects. The acting is wooden, the dinosaurs came out of a cereal box, the characters are all complete idiots and the script is a disaster.

If you like movies that make you shout at the TV and do shots whenever something really stupid happens, this one's for you. It goes well with alcohol and any snack that can easily be thrown at the screen.

I loved it.

You have to give it one star if you don't have the strength to loose a chunk of your life torturing yourself for the full feature. However it generously delivers all it's low- expectations from the beginning enabling you to do something more useful like sort out your fridge or organise your toilet paper by different weights. The following is due to the fact that IMDb requires you to submit a minimum 10 lines, sorry in advance. 19 mins in there is some clichéd girl on girl action in a prison. The title sequence isn't bad, it matches the red of the tight short dress that the dark haired girl wears. There's a decent ironic analogy of Freud's structural model of the pschye captured through Altmanesque segues, actually there isn't I'm just fluffing out the 10 line minimum. Oh there are lingering shots of a woman's behind as she gets into a Jacuzzi. Sorry what was I reviewing again? It's already left my mind.

I gave this movie a 2 only because it gave me an opportunity to look at Kevin Gage... if Kevin Gage had not been in this movie I would have turned it off after the first 15 minutes. There is plenty of female eye candy in this movie, I think they might have added those scenes after they realized the movie could not stand on the dinosaur dynamics alone. I am positive not very many people are going to say this is their favorite movie... not even in the top 10,000! But... if you are a Kevin Gage fan it might be worth a gander. I need 2 more lines of text - so I will just say there is some action in this movie, just not enough to make the movie interesting.

The idea is OK, some dinosaurs escape captivity and run wild.

But...

The acting is terrible. Some of the worst I have ever seen. Too melodramatic when they should be dramatic and way too dramatic when there was no need.

The special effects are horrendous! Jurassic Park had good special effects, Jurassic City just looked fake. The dinosaurs were on a slightly different lighting level to the rest of the scene. It reminded my of the original Godzilla movies.

The story had some stupid twists, stuff that would never happen in real life and one specifically which is so bad it made me wonder what the writers were thinking.

All in all, one of the worst films I have ever seen, but not in an annoyingly bad way, just in a "what am I watching" type way. If you have 90 minutes to waste then you could do worse than this one, but it will be a waste of 90 minutes.

Horrible acting, even worse animation. A high school crew would have made a better movie. A movie about dinosaurs getting lose in a prison. The dinosaurs were worse animated than Sponge bob. Lighting effects were non-existent. Come on, it's 2014 and you couldn't find a decent graphics artist. Every special effect was like a 15 year old game on the lowest settings. Just please no one watch this movie. Not worth a single second, let be 90 minutes. It was 90 minutes of straight torture. I'm just gonna type nonsense for the last few lines, because there's nothing more to say about this movie. It could be said in one line.. Just do not watch it and please don't let this director or producer make any more movies.