Hot Bot

I am a very forgiving reviewer--I can usually find something to like about a film. In this case the only reason it gets 3 points at all is due to the premise, but as far as the plot, the characters, the dialogue--and as another reviewer puts it, the execution, it is a genuine stinker.

None of the characters are likable, not even the robot or the kids. I have no issue at all about sexbots, nor do I have a problem with evolving AI--especially as they are likely a near reality, but the WAY in which this story was told was just terrible! As is often the case, the kids are too precocious, but even given that, they simply aren't believable--in their actions, their dialogue or their acting. I mean usually, the writers at least make the main kids likable or endearing in some way. In this movie, the one "nice" lead, is just too, too much to be believable, and the whole religious spiel in the middle of the film as a plot device? Ugh. To be fair, I can't decide if it's the acting that is off, or the directing--as if that ultimately matters in a film this bad (I can forgive either one if other elements make up for it) but the dialoge and development sure don't help. All of the other characters are pure (and poorly done) stereotypical caricature. The entire thing reads as a throwaway script in some slush pile.

Now it's obvious that this film is aimed at young pubescent boys, but I doubt even that demographic would enjoy this film. There isn't enough substance--or visual candy in here to be even mildly titillating. This movie offers absolutely nothing to the audience. My recommendation is to just pass this one by--pubescent boy or not-- cause if you ARE a pubescent boy you will be sorely disappointed.

I think the only thing that can be considered to have been done right is the Hot Bot. I think you cannot argue that she is hot. But casting someone who doesn't do nudity in the main role of a movie like this, is a bit wrong. Especially because there is nudity here by other actresses. Not to mention that while there is almost nothing happening here (kind of literally, which is "funny" in a bad way considering the very naughty beginning), the jokes are badly written too.

I guess this is supposed to be a sort of remake of an 80s movie with Kelly LeBrock in the main role. Mix in a bit of Superbad or something recent and you have a winning formula, right? Well unfortunately wrong, which is a shame indeed. Not funny or hot at all, which is kind of hard to achieve (no pun intended) if you think about it ...

Some talented comedians are in this, but don't let that fool you. It's not funny, sexy, or interesting. I watched the first 11 minutes and 34 seconds on Netflix, then flipped to the last 5 to see how it ended and couldn't make it; it was just too painful to watch. The writer and director should be drummed out of the industry and be sentenced to watch this film in its entirety every day for the rest of their lives.

Apparently this review needs 10 lines to be publishable. I find it ironic that the standards required for me to warn you how awful this, this whatever it is (visual sadness?), are apparently higher than the standards required to produce it in the first place.

Hot Bot's writer/director Michael Polish clearly intended for his teen sex comedy to be a hilarious mix of Weird Science and Superbad, Cynthia Kirchner's high-tech sex robot Bardot replacing Kelly LeBrock's living Barbie-doll, with high-school geeks Leonard Stupenski (Zack Pearlman) and Limus Huffington (Doug Haley) a cross between Superbad's Seth and Evan and Weird Science's Gary and Wyatt. What he actually delivers is a charmless wreck of a film with zero laughs that is about as sexy as sticking your dick in a light socket.

Limus is a scrawny, lank haired dweeb with a charisma bypass, while his best friend Leonard is unlikeable in almost every way imaginable (imagine an even more irritating version of Jonah Hill crossed with Jack Black at his most grating, and you're not even close to how obnoxious this guy is). Within minutes, I was rooting for these idiots to be captured by the FBI agents—who are hunting for the missing sex-bot—and made to 'disappear' (ie., a shot to the back of the head and a shallow grave); sadly, they're there for the duration, 86 painful minutes of desperately unfunny, puerile gags as the lads try to keep Bardot from her intended owner, sleaze-ball Senator Biter (Larry Miller).

After much inane 'comedy' during which neither nerd scores with the sex-bot (despite being invited to f*** within minutes of meeting her), Polish adds insult to injury with several supposedly hilarious out-takes during the end credits that somehow prove even less funny than the stuff that made it into the film.

This is a ridiculous mess of a film. The thing is it had great potential and if rewritten and directed with a much better cast except for Bardot who was gorgeous this could have been decent. Instead you got another terrible teenage film that was unrealistic and stupid. From teenagers running into this luck to the silly romance at the end. The characters should have been aged to be real working and normal people not pathetic teenagers. A real and funny story could have been added to the mix as well with a killer soundtrack but alas.

4/10