Necronomicon

I can see why this director has a total of 4 movies to his name, at least up until this one.

Other than the name, which the lead actor can't seem to pronounce correctly; there is so much not related to the H. P. Lovecraft or the Necronomicon. Not to mention the fact that I can't recall the last time a police helicopter fires heavy weapons in the middle of a city, taking out everyone but the bad guy. Who admittedly claims to not be driving his car, but still appears to be driving the car.

Aleister Crowley was not interested in the book, It's not bound in human skin and has nothing to do with Hell or demons. But then again as bad as this "movie" is I'm not surprised they just slapped the name on it just to get people to watch it. When characters can't say the name correctly, sorta points to the fact that the Director didn't know how to or just didn't care and was trying to churn out another movie.

I know less than nothing about making, directing movies but I know enough that when I hire someone and they say the name of what my movie is about, I would make the do it again; until they got it right.

Is it Necronomicon, Necromonicon, Necromomicron. When all else fails, lets just add boobs and ass, that'll make the movie so much better.

I only watched this movie because the other reviewers regarded it so poorly. Surely, it couldn't be that bad? They were not wrong. Everything they wrote is accurate. I made it 6 minutes in before I started fast forwarding through the rest. While it never really got any better, I did notice some naked ladies about half way through it. So, it does have that going for it. I really can't think of any other reason to watch this movie. It is not satisfying on any real level. That being said, I am sure the people that made this movie had a fun time and learned a great deal in the process. Now, I need to type 11 more characters.

As a card carrying member of the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society, I will start by saying this is a hard pass. The makers of this film clearly have ZERO knowledge of the source material. Numerous characters in the film mispronounce the name of the Necromonicon... The titular tome... Multiple times. Also, aside from a character at the beginning of the film seemingly reading off the biography of H. P. Lovecraft from Wikipedia, there is virtually no mention of Lovecraft or Lovecraftian themes, tropes, etc. As a matter of fact, it's almost like the writers of the film wanted to make a film about Aleister Crowley instead but wanted to use the Lovecraft name to snag unsuspecting viewers like me. I can safely say, Aleister Crowley had nothing to do with Lovecraft's fictional Necromonicon, as it was written by the mad Arab Al Alhazzared. Also, the film is all wrapped up in Christian demonography which has zero to do with the elder beings and old gods of the actual Lovecraftian Necromonicon.

All of that aside, even as an enthusiast of schlocky B movies, I found this film to be horribly written, terribly paced, it had awful washed out audio throughout. The entire first twelve minutes is a weird Sin City-esque CGI car chase, complete with awful rear projection behind the driver who delivers a Frank Miller style monologue the entire time. There's also an awkward sex scene shoehorned in where you get to see Bai Ling's nipples if you're patient enough to get a half hour in. A lot of the "bigger name" actors don't even appear in the film and are simply dubbed into conversations with the main character.

If I could give this film a zero out of ten I would.

This is directed by a guy who has only made 4 films in his entire life and the last one was 30 years ago about Dolly Parton. This give you an idea where the movie is going.

In the dumpster.

The first 15 minutes is a voice over car chase done in CGI with a guy purported to be controlled by the devil. It's sleep inducing.

Cut to what they say is NY but nothing looks like NY and everybody is speaking with a British accent.

Cut to New Orleans. Supposedly some old Alester Crowley house but it's clearly a tourist spot. You can see the fees to get in and tour on the wall!

Lots of the shots were clearly filmed in England. You can tell by the electrical outlets.

30 minutes into this garbage and no Bai Ling or Michael Madson or Tom Sizemore yet. They are supposed to be the stars.

Finally, Sizemore arrives, as large as Orson Welles, filmed against a plain white background and obviously did this god know where but the guy he interacts with isn't there at the time of filming. He's a voice over! And cutaways of him were added at a later date!

Horrible. This is a train wreck. I would have shut this off by now but I thought I'd sit around for Ling and Madsen.

Glutton for punishment.

Bai Ling is next on the agenda, filmed so dark you can't see her.

It's so dark, I'm not sure what I saw. I'm not even sure what her segment is about or how it relates to the movie, but all of a sudden, the guy has a giant bird tattoo on his back. It wasn't there 5 minutes ago!

Then there's a bunch of voice overs with Sizemore that are complete duplicates of what he said before.

Bai shows up again and the guy doesn't seem to recognize her as the girl thatwas with him 10 minutes earlier.

50 minutes into this and Madsen finally comes in, looking like total crap. He's in it for no more than 3 minutes and back to NYC.

With 15 minutes to go Bai ling shows up a third time.

The movie made zero sense. I can't believe I stuck with it. It sucked big time. Don't Bother. Your Time is More Valuable.

The movie focuses on the legendary Aleister Crowley for the most part, in very poorly lit rooms of no relevance. As said on other disparaging reviews here, the first thirty minutes and the last ten are harder to watch than it was for me to read your collective reviews of this film.

Depending on your mood, and if your interest in the Occult is fairly high -- be like Nike, and just do it already. It's not in the same league as far as good Lovecraft movies are concerned, Dagon is by far and away the best rendition of the man's written work and they did the best with had they had to work with there on that beauty.

So, the CGI driving scenes BREAK this movie for the majority of watchers because it's such shoddy work, and the would-be tough guy is some fat lamer with a feminine voice. Weak. But the dialogue discussing Crowley and the Golden Dawn's importance to Occultism, and occasionally throwing in the Necronomicon, is acceptably interesting to me...