Swamp Woman

Arriving for work at a chemical research facility, a woman's attempts at conducting groundbreaking genetic research are interrupted when thugs from a rival doctor break in to steal her formula but inadvertently turn her into a half-woman/half-reptile creature who sets out seeking revenge against them.

This was an exceptionally fun and enjoyable cheesy genre effort. The fact that this one completely reveals in its cheesy nature, starting with the central storyline involving a scientist working in a facility with toys claiming it's state-of-the-art technology while she spends more time taking showers with her lesbian partner should give this a clue as to the kind of goofy content on display. The remaining storylines at play here, with the facility sponsoring a scientist's creation of a Frankenstein-like female body, the henchmen trying to steal the formula, and the backstory of the original scientist releasing the chemical in the area. Feature the same type of cheesy attitude throughout here that manages to match the type of content within here that carries an old-school grindhouse/exploitation tone with how it all works. If you're able to get past this cheesy atmosphere and presentation, it's really the only thing wrong here since the rest of the film is quite fun. With a frenetic pace featuring a lot of confrontations with the thugs that turn her into the titular creature and the resulting appearances in the swamp seeking revenge on them in grand cheesy encounters ripping them to pieces, there's no real downside here as the pace keeps this one pretty high for the most part. Moving from one cheesy encounter to another and mixing in tons of cheesecake sequences of them showering together, rejecting the advances of bar patrons, or seeing the various interactions of the thugs under their orders to clean everything up which is filled with that type of sleazy grindhouse approach to everything. These factors are all really fun and make for a fun time here.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Full Male and Female Nudity, and Graphic Language.

I'm pretty certain three out of the four reviews here are from people that worked on this movie... and I use the word "movie" loosely. Apparently, a group of people had delusions of grandeur and thought they were making a B-movie masterpiece, but ended up with a Z-movie not fit for a bargain bin.

You start off the movie with a retro grind house "special presentation" opener that, for a few seconds, gives you nostalgia for movies you would rather be watching. The movie moves onto a shot of an owl sitting in a tree... and then it defecates before it flies away. If that isn't foreshadowing for what you're about to witness, I don't know what is.

The characters are such an A-list cast including:

'Guy Reading His Lines Off Screen' playing 'Generic Scientist'

'Sushii Holder' (probably a porn name) playing 'Lesbian Scientist'

'Boob Lady' playing 'Lesbian Scientist's Girlfriend'

'Can't Do A Proper Accent' playing 'Evil German Scientist Stereotype'

'Token Black Man' playing 'Thug 1 With A Gun And Money'

'I Look Like The Lead Guy From Birdemic' playing 'Thug 2 That Wears An Eye Patch'

'They Found Me On The Street' playing 'Thug 3 That Looks Like Reject Joe Dirt'

'Beer Gut' playing 'Not Even Rent-A-Cop'

'I'm Someone's Math Teacher' playing 'Racist Italian Stereotype'

There is also 'Generic News Anchor' named L. Kaufman, played by Lloyd Kaufman. Yeah, that's really subtle. He's also holding a mic with "Troma TV" taped to it, as if these morons think they're anywhere near the cult status of Kaufman's Troma franchise.

None of the actors can act, it's apparent they were just fed their lines and told to stand on the "X" for the shot. Ironically, the only one that actually had any level of talent was Larry (Thug 1 with the gun). We're not talking Hollywood a-list celeb here, but he at least seemed to understand what and who his character was. It was at least convincing enough to want more of him.

The movie spends a lot of time reminding us the girls are lesbians. It's such a stunning and brave movie that finally represents lesbians in a positive light. They assault some poor bar patron and tell him they're lesbians, they randomly take showers for no other reason than they're lesbians, they're flashing and rubbing their naked bodies against each other, truly stunning and brave and absolutely no indication this was just the director's attempt at making a porno. They also sit around and talk about the guys they want to have sex with... because they're lesbians. Absolutely made for a modern audience. Lesbian Scientist always has this "I don't want to be here" look on her face especially at the very end. I wonder if she owed someone money.

The sets... well, there are no sets. If it's not someone's house, it's a couple walls made out of plywood with a folding table in the middle. It's embarrassing to see what they attempted to pass off as a lab, it looks like someone raided their kid's science set they bought at Walmart to use as props.

There is a soundtrack and if the swamp woman music sounds familiar, it's because it's some strange rendition 'This is Halloween' from "The Nightmare Before Christmas". The movie ends with ANOTHER shower scene and some techno version of 'Let's Hear It For The Boys'. Aside from that, there is nothing else notable about the music.

The only makeup is when Lesbian Scientist is mysteriously turned green and naked. It's never really shows WHY she is turned green and naked, she wasn't injected with anything, just that after her beating, she runs miles and miles out of the city into the swamp (while naked for some reason) and then becomes swamp woman. They give her some goofy teeth and don't bother to cover the hairline with the same green paint. She also wears Crocs... must be some kind of attempt at humor, get it? Crocs? She's a reptile (I think)? Filmed by a studio with a croc as the mascot? Funny. She also questions whether she can still have children... because that's how lesbians work, right? I guess if she got in-vitro, but who is going to hold her down? It's obvious the writers... well, the people who wrote the script, didn't actually put thought into this. They just said "hey, this is funny, we'll put it in".

Swamp Woman herself is barely even in her own movie, clocking in at a whopping 4.5 minutes TOTAL and when she is, all she does is run around the woods talking to herself. She occasionally kills people that come looking for her, but other than that, nothing happens.

The type of exploitation this is attempting to cash in on is just sad. They don't understand what made those old exploitation movies so enjoyable to watch. Even the bad ones were still entertaining in their own way, this movie is just tedious to sit through and even with all the nudity, you're still looking at your watch and thinking "how did this make it to an hour in run time?". They could have cut out all the padding and whittled this down to a half hour easy and still could have told the same story. They threw in random shower scenes with the two girls that last waaay too long. The lighting and grading don't match the rest of the movie, which is why I think they weren't originally trying to make a low-budge sci-fi movie.

At the end, this isn't even good enough to warrant watching for how bad it is. The editing is terrible, the thin plot is written by children, it's boring, and not even the nude girls are enough to make you want to sit through it. Skip this trash.

"Swamp Woman" revolves around Doctor Angela Honeydew, played by the talented Sushii Xhyvette Holder, whose groundbreaking serum allows animals to merge genetically with their surroundings. However, this extraordinary creation becomes the target of the sinister Doctor Robert Olsen, portrayed by Joel D Wynkoop, who will go to any lengths to obtain it. Joel nails the role as always.

The movie captures the essence of 70s exploitation films with its mad scientist narrative and the transformation of Doctor Honeydew into the stunning green Swamp Woman. It embraces the hallmark elements of the genre, featuring campy dialogue, occasional nudity, and blood-soaked scenes. These aspects contribute to the overall enjoyment of the film, providing a fun and entertaining experience.

"Swamp Woman" excels in delivering scenes that immerse viewers in a world of excitement and amusement. The movie's captivating sequences leave audiences wanting more, a testament to its ability to engage and entertain. It's a delightful ride that perfectly encapsulates the spirit of a Gatorblade film, surpassing expectations and offering a fulfilling viewing experience.

For fans of exploitation movies and enthusiasts of the Gatorblade style, "Swamp Woman" is a must-watch. It successfully pays homage to the beloved 70s era while adding its own unique flair. With its blend of nostalgia, campiness, and entertainment value, the film delivers on its promise and leaves viewers craving for more.

Dr. Honeywell (Sushii Holder) has created a special serum that Dr. Olsen wants to get his hands on. He uses three thugs to steal the serum, attacking Dr. Honeywell in the process. She runs off injured so the assume that is dead. Dr. Honeywell merges with the swamp much like "Swamp Thing". She immerges from the swamp part woman part gator.

Her first priority is to seek revenge on the thugs who stole her serum and left her for dead. Once she takes out the bad guys and a few extra casualties, she must rescue her lover from Dr. Olsen.

Swamp Woman is a fun little B-movie. If you go into with your expectations in check you'll enjoy it.

Where do I start? Well, let's start from the style of this film: do you remember those b-movies from the late 1970s - early 1980s? Yes, that's the style. From the very first 10 seconds of the movie you get that vibe, and for a solid minute I thought I had misread the release date.

The acting is pretty bad, mediocre high school production bad. There's a lot of female nudity, perhaps they thought it could make up for the abysmal acting, but it doesn't; I even actually found it quite unpleasant, to be honest.

The plot... well, it is very much in line with all the other b-movies we're already familiar with, so nothing to report here.

Overall a very disappointing film, not worth the time. Unless you're a fan of the genre and quite drunk.