UnHung Hero

Maybe size is correlated to emotional maturity? After seeing this documentary the woman who turned down our minus-size "hero" must have fully realized the immature bullet she dodge live on a Jumbotron. In fact after watching Patrick Moote drag this thin concept out to nearly the requisite 90 minutes, one imagines the likelihood of his getting a yes at the basketball (or whatever) game was probably largely in his under-developed mind. He minces, he whines, he asks him mother about his penis size(seriously, dude?) and generally gets on everyone he encounters nerves. In between not much happens. He goes to the adult video convention one imagines more for his own prurient interests that anything having to do with the stated reason for the "cockumentary". He goes to Asia for more genital-oriented nonsense and eventually makes it back to the U.S. where he ends with some bad stand-up. How someone makes a whole documentary solely about themselves where they still come off unattractive and irritating is almost difficult to believe. In short, there's not much here.

It's a subject that certainly does deserve to be explored - but it certainly could have been done so much better. The final half hour of this documentary contains moments so emotional and insightful that it almost makes Moote's obnoxious behaviour and narration during the first hour worth sitting through.

Unfortunately, its interesting points are so few and far between that the whole show becomes an insipid and occasionally stomach-turning pity party for Moote. Nonetheless, the documentary does exactly what any film studying this subject matter ought to do: expose its protagonist as a cripplingly insecure person in need of psychological - not physical - help.

"UnHung Hero" charts a humiliated man's fact-finding journey as he consults porn stars, doctors and anthropologists to learn whether the size of one's manhood matters.

I must say the sexologist is highly entertaining, explaining why he does not let people urinate in his establishment. He seems very laid back, very knowledgeable, but still is basically the keeper of a brothel. Not sure how you get to be the person who runs a house where people sit around and play with themselves.

Seeing Jonah Falcon was cool, as he is a very strange guy. I love that the world's largest man is not remotely a good-looking fellow. Not grungy like Ron Jeremy, either, but just dorky and undesirable.

Unhung Hero might have a slight appeal to anyone who has an interest in penis size and who has never read sex advice columns or has any sense of science.

The film is essential just a self fascinated tale of "Look at me!" that never gets beyond the filmmaker's supposed issues with his supposedly small penis.

Much of the film, which is supposedly a documentary, seems fake and staged. And most of the film seems pointless and/or obvious ("Let's talk to porn stars about penis size!")

Though Unhung Hero is a film about the penis you essentially never see any penises. The film, like many documentaries on "taboo subjects," approaches its topic with the same coy but chaste tone you find on a broadcast TV documentary about a controversial subject.

A far far better film about a guy dealing with his size issues is the 2005 BBC documentary My Penis and I by (and about) Lawrence Barraclough which can be watched in full online. (CAUTION: It contains penis.)

UnHung Hero (2013)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Mildly entertaining documentary about Patrick Moote, a man who gets on the jumbo screen at a sporting event to propose to his girlfriend but she rejects him. We learn that it was because of his small penis so Patrick goes around the world trying to make it bigger. UNHUNG HERO kept me mildly entertained as I watched it but I had a hard time viewing it as a documentary. For starters, there's never any proof that this girlfriend dumped him because of his penis size. I mean, perhaps she was just embarrassed at the time? Perhaps she just wasn't ready to settle down? Perhaps hearing from her on if she walked off because of his penis size would have helped things. Also, a lot of this just seems to be done for humor as Patrick is constantly talking about his small penis. We never really see it either so who knows what the truth is. With that said, there are some funny moments scattered throughout and especially when he goes overseas to see how those men handle having a small penis and see what they do to try and make it bigger. We get a few doctors and sex experts talking about sizes and the history of men worrying about it. Again, if you've got nothing better to do then this is something worth watching. However, it's certainly not a well-researched or detailed film.