Fountain of Youth

If you had seen a movie and a half about adventure and old artifacts in the past, or played a similar video game, you know what this movie is about. In about 10 minutes through, you will figure it out..the plot, the bad guy etc. That is not the problem. We watch these movies time and time again for the fun ride, the amount of historical nonsense they can cram through while keeping that entertaining. Sense be damned.

What kept most of these movies fun, are the charm, the cheese, the quirks here and there, fun characters, great locations and action. Those often overlapped sense, character depth and meaning. This movie does not lack on the visuals and actions, it lacks in the former 3. I don't know. It felt too clean and devoid of pleasantries that attract you toward a popcorn adventure flick. It is just..too linear.

Perhaps they wanted to be different, or maybe they did not want to offend someone. I can't believe a Guy Ritchie movie could ever unfunny specially when it's meant to have comedic elements. Ah well, whatever the reason, it was in fact, a mistake. 6/10 for pretty people and locations.

I haven't reviewed a movie in half a decade, but I felt a warning was justified in this case. I have had to start and stop this one several times throughout my first and last viewing of this piece of dialogue garbage on Apple TV+.

I went in wanting to like this movie, I'm a huge fan of John Krasinski's work and an even bigger fan of Natalie Portman & her whole repertoire dating back to Leon: The Professional. So expectations were high coming in.

This film is just off in every way. Pacing? Weird. Dialogue? Poorly written, corny and cringe. Acting? Even though the artist have the chops to do so, the writing is so terrible that they do justice to them in a bad way. The acting is laughable from almost every character. Suspense? Predictable and rips off too many mainstream plot lines. Romance? Pathetic attempt, comes off fake. Conflict resolution? I mean, I guess maybe you could say so but the movie is so predictable and corny that you don't even realize that this might be the best part of it because everything else pales in reverse by comparison.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time. Huge swing and miss by Apple TV+. This would have bombed at the box office.

If you thought national treasure was lame back in the day, fear not this is way worse. This makes that movie look like citizen kane. I'm a huge fan of John Krasinski but this is very poor.

It just doesn't flow very well, quite typical for a guy Ritchie movie I find. Just jumps from one exotic location to the next without a huge amount of thought about continuity. Every other movie John Krasinski has been in. He has been a complete departure from the office but honestly in this movie he looks more like Jim than anything else he's been in mannerisms aren't acting skills wise. Been waiting awhile for this to come out so yeah, I'm disappointed.

Great cast fantastic director interesting premise and a boat load of cash and you get a mediocre movie that had so much and delivers so little.

Guy Ritchie is in my opinion one of the finest british directors of my age and he has made some great modern classics from snatch and lockstock to his lesser works like ruse de gare. I would always have said even If I didn't like the film he stayed true to his aesthetic and put his whole into his art: this I hope is the exception that proves the rule.

A mash of all the best parts of the great adventure treasure hunt films of the past from Indiana Jones to national treasure there is a bit of all the best mixed up and ruined in a obviously expensive project. The end result is heartless and dull it feels like the studio may have interfered in the production but whatever the end result just left me sad and ambivolent.

How is this the same writer who wrote Zodiac??? The writing in Fountain of Youth was brutally cliche and soulless and derivative. So I'm praying Apple didn't do something idiotic like get some AI input or something, because that's what it felt like - painfully so at times.

The actors did the best they could with the script, and I LOVE that this is a non-franchise, non-reboot, original story. So a huge bravo for that, but the writing was just a constant distraction.

Guy Richie is Guy Richie, and I can see why he's a safe choice for film execs, but damn- this film is a good example of needing to raise the bar. Krasinski and Portman give it their all, but I felt bad for them having to deal with these characters and the painfully awkward dialogue.