Fountain of Youth

How is this the same writer who wrote Zodiac??? The writing in Fountain of Youth was brutally cliche and soulless and derivative. So I'm praying Apple didn't do something idiotic like get some AI input or something, because that's what it felt like - painfully so at times.

The actors did the best they could with the script, and I LOVE that this is a non-franchise, non-reboot, original story. So a huge bravo for that, but the writing was just a constant distraction.

Guy Richie is Guy Richie, and I can see why he's a safe choice for film execs, but damn- this film is a good example of needing to raise the bar. Krasinski and Portman give it their all, but I felt bad for them having to deal with these characters and the painfully awkward dialogue.

Yeah, the same director of criminal dark comedies like "Lock, stock and two smoking barrels " is making pg-13 movies, trying to obscure all Indiana Jones movies and hundreds of adventures like "Meg" etc.

I don't know really. May be I'm just too old to watch same cliched films over and over again, but everything great has ended 10 years ago or even earlier. People don't need new Lara Croft, people need a rethinked concept of some NEW adventure formula. Not just "seek'n found" with chases and one-trait-characters. Guy Ritchie is perfect at crimes, perfect at mixing it with dark comedies. But his last movies are just lame attempts to grab a bite of "Umcharted"-like blockbusters.

Sorry, but no. Skip.

I haven't reviewed a movie in half a decade, but I felt a warning was justified in this case. I have had to start and stop this one several times throughout my first and last viewing of this piece of dialogue garbage on Apple TV+.

I went in wanting to like this movie, I'm a huge fan of John Krasinski's work and an even bigger fan of Natalie Portman & her whole repertoire dating back to Leon: The Professional. So expectations were high coming in.

This film is just off in every way. Pacing? Weird. Dialogue? Poorly written, corny and cringe. Acting? Even though the artist have the chops to do so, the writing is so terrible that they do justice to them in a bad way. The acting is laughable from almost every character. Suspense? Predictable and rips off too many mainstream plot lines. Romance? Pathetic attempt, comes off fake. Conflict resolution? I mean, I guess maybe you could say so but the movie is so predictable and corny that you don't even realize that this might be the best part of it because everything else pales in reverse by comparison.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time. Huge swing and miss by Apple TV+. This would have bombed at the box office.

No, it's not National treasure 3, in fact it doesn't come that near to being as good as the first 2 National Treasure movies.

However I've seen much worse and it was still quiet enjoyable.

For me not enough of the puzzles and riddles from other films of this ilk and a lot left unexplained.

The film does have Guy Ritchie's style and flair all over it and the efforts of all actors are definitely not in question here. I think maybe this film needed a couple more rewrites before going ahead.

On the whole though, if you have 2 hours to spare and nothing to do.....give it a go.

Alternatively wait and hope for "National Treasure 3"

Fountain of Youth has all the ingredients of a compelling adventure-mystery, ambition, and a supernatural twist-but it never quite comes together. The biggest flaw? A shocking lack of investment in its protagonists. Despite a talented cast, the characters feel thinly written, making it impossible to care about their fates. It's a shame to see otherwise skilled actors reduced to B-material by a script that gives them little to work with.

Visually, the film is competent, and there are moments where the premise sparks intrigue. But without emotional stakes or memorable performances, even the slickest set pieces fall flat. Fountain of Youth isn't unwatchable-it's just disappointingly forgettable.