Call Girl of Cthulhu

If you're looking for a sleazy, cheap but fun Lovecraftian horror you could do far worse than this! With blood and body parts all over the place, some of the dumbest characters you'll see in horror (which is saying something!), and a very liberal amount of T&A/topless nudity, this is a real throwback to those 80s teen horror flicks that were only found near the back of the video store. A nerdy young artist decides to lose his virginity to a prostitute. Unfortunately, she bears a birthmark that marks her as destined to become the bride of Cthulhu. The 'Church of Starry Wisdom' (aka a bunch of losers led by a megalomaniac nutjob) are determined to bring that union about.

Whilst some of the supporting cast have a history in more 'adult' productions, the leads (David Phillip Carollo as the artist, Nicolette le Faye as his roommate, Melissa O'Brien as the hooker, and Dave Gamble as the nutjob) are pro actors; but they're ALL clearly having a ball and putting their all into it. Plus, writer/director Chris LaMartina knows his stuff; there are more Lovecraft references/elements in this that I think I've seen in any other movie based on his work. Overall, it's trash, but it's meant to be. I can't say I'll ever rewatch it, but it's fun. 6/10.

Do you miss 70's and 80's grindhouse-style horror flicks with some 80's and 90's nihilism, mixed with real creature design and nearly no CGI? Do you miss when boobs, sex, and blood were in your cheesy horror movies? Do you miss when movies werent afraid to lean into camp?

Boy howdy do I got the movie for you!!!

I ran across this one on A-Z prime because it was on my recommended watch-list. I didnt check reviews or anything else, as the title was what drew me in.

I'm glad I went in blind!

I wont give a synopsis, but the movie is exactly what it shows itself to be. A call girl is possibly the catalyst for what brings Cthulhu back into our world.

This flick could have been trimmed down a little, but even with its excess, it feels like it revels in it rather than just rushing from plot point to plot point.

That is not to say this movie is dull or boring, as it pretty steadily keeps a solid pace for its running time.

There IS a lot of what is NOT in current horror movies: Blood, swears, boobs, sex, violence, animatronics and practical effects, amongst others, are littered throughout this movie in a fantastic way. You can really feel the vision they were going for and they executed it quite well.

The actors were not amazing, but they were proficient for this B-style movie. They play their parts well, and a few of them shine. It all mostly works for this script/film. They werent hamming it up, but you could tell all of the actors gave it their all with lots of gusto and enthusiasm.

The sound seemed to be taken from the raw audio many times without someone doing sound effects, which is both a blessing and a curse since some sounds do not match the tone they are going for.

The locations, for the most part, felt real and natural. The apartment of the main character feels very lived in and real for the two inhabitants.

Dont expect mind-blowing CGI or special effects as this is basically a well-done B movie. The practical effects were serviceable, but again, do not expect a $50 million dollar movie here. For instance, the masks of the Cthulhu cultists are just pieces of cloth cut into strips halfway, BUT IT WORKS!!! The cultists masks were mostly creepy.

If you've gotten this far and are still curious, give this flick a go!!! Check it out and you should be pleasantly surprised!

This was a fun little 'horror' movie with few scares but lots of "ick", as any story about Cthulhu should be.

This movie was more enjoyable and fun than most movies I've seen in the 6 years since this was released.

I'd give it a 6.5 rounded up to a 7 as I felt this movie deserved the bump-up, with points deducted for some of the unnecessary length and side plots that only exist for the sake of gore.

The ending was very 'Stephen King"ish but overall left me wishing for something a little more.

As a side note: They do a lot of match-cuts, which at first is refreshing because a lot of movies do not even bother with this anymore and jump from scene to scene, but it becomes a smidge excessive towards the end.

Ya, right...Lovecraft would have really dug this 'homage' being a secret T&A guy back in the day. He especially would have been surprised to see so many of his hidden meanings and dark texts rife with macabre images suddenly illuminated and realized as a bunch of naked women with all their attributes! As if that were not enough, the casting of non-pro actors would sublimate his troubled eldritch inner forces that would normally demand much better performers into a simmering rage at the unseen director of this nonsense. The usage of New England surnames familiar to us all seems unkind to those family members who may still exist in the dark tarns of the hidden blasted heaths and valleys therein. All in all very entertaining for those of us trapped deep below the surface of the Earth with the Old Ones!

Yrs...

Charles Dexter Ward and my new friend... Yog Sothoth -

What is your take on cults and demons? And more importantly: do you have problems with humor being added to a horror movie? That question is the most important one of course, since this is using a lot of humor. If that works, will be up to you and your sensibilities.

The effects are quite nice. You have a lot of violence, some nudity and a lot madness to endure while watching this. Something that should hopefully come easy to you. If not you will not have any fun watching this ... at all. Low budget as it can be - you have to dig its vibe. You will know early on. Don't blame the movie - if you sat all the way through it and didn't like it.

From the start, this looks like it's going to be a not just bad but poorly made movie. But I stuck through it for a few minutes and got some entertainment out of it. Here's the good and the bad:

Good: I like the story behind the movie. The acting for the people that took off their tops was better than the acting of the clothed people. I don't know if that's good or bad, but whatever. I liked the glimpse at the kinds of sad pandering that a call girl has to put up with, that was entertaining. The bad guys were interesting to look at. I am impressed with how much freaky can be conveyed with simple costumes. In fact, I know it is low budget but bravo to the costuming for the movie with doing lots with little.

Bad: I can't even call it gory. There was a lot of puppetry and fluids being thrown around so I can call it gross but in no way realistic or gory. Even in a movie centered around hookers and strip clubs, there's even extra nudity for no real reason. This stuck out to me, idk why. The sound was really bad in places.

I think it's an ok movie, poorly made in spots, badly acted in other spots but I can say I was entertained by the crazy and I thought the ending was decent. To watch this and come away happy you have to have low expectations. Which the name of the film sets you up with.