Love Rat

Whoever wrote this pile of garbage needs to go back to Comprehensive School and complete her CSEs. How on earth could such established actors could allow themselves to be dragged in to such an implausible plot, banal script and amateur dramatics direction. There were more holes in the plot than in Blackburn, Lancashire. The " clever twists" were not clever and were ridiculously predictable. Most importantly, how could Channel 5 be stupid enough to present it? I can only assume that the scriptwriter was the author's mother who is married to the commissioning editor. If it's so easy to get on screen I'm going to submit all my novels.

I watched until the 3rd episode then that was it, enough is enough. How that blond women ever gets parts is beyond me, she cannot act and when she tries it's painful to watch, totally over acts at each juncture.

Neil Morresy is as bad, he must be the same as the blond woman, they must know someone in the high places in TV as there are millions of other actors whom can actually act.

The story is pathetic and it will have you shouting at the screen.

TV is so low quality now, there is literally nothing of any quality to watch.

The same actors and presents dominate every channel with no new talent being allowed in.

Seriously you need subtitles because I could not understand a word that came from the annoying brat daughter characters mouth. It was some kind of mermaid gobbledygook squealing language. It didn't help that the daughter was also an annoying and selfish character, only interested in mummys divorce money for her salon. The story and script was so amateurish that it made the actors look bad and this can't be so because there are some well known and experienced actors in this series. Are we really to believe that chunky, matronly unfit Emma can knock guns out of fit males hands and run from them? So many holes in the story and editing that one would think a school kid wrote the script. Lazy script but I'm quite sure everyone had a great holiday abroad enjoying the sun. Watch it without rolling your eyes if you can.

The 'infinite monkey theorem' suggests that a monkey hitting typewriter keys at random for an infinite amount of time would almost surely write any given text at some point, including the complete works of Shakespeare.

What people *don't* know about this theorem is that it also suggests that it would take that same monkey around only 3½ hours (including a 15-minute lunch break for a banana and a Kit Kat) to write the average 4-part drama for Channel 5.

And in the case of Love Rat, average is being kind.

It's abysmal. Whoever told Neil Morrissey he could act was a bare faced liar, as even up against the rest of this wooden cast he was particularly dreadful.

The daughter has to be one of the most unlikeable characters ever written (better luck next time, monkey) but thankfully she's not in it much. Less thankfully that means more time for the mother to waddle around Cyprus bouncing from gullible to stupid along the way.

I saw the ending coming from a mile away despite it being utterly ridiculous, and as for the final scenes - well, perhaps the monkey had had a lobotomy.

3/10

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Totally unconvincing acting and storyline despite having some good actors in it. That is about all that needs to be said. Each episode seemed to become worse than the previous one There are no redeeming features about this series except that we only have to endure three episodes. The lead character, Sally Lindsay, lurches from one disaster to another. The crooks in Cyprus are weakly and poorly acted. The ex husband is a total loser and a waste of space, he is pathetic. The only one with any redeeming features is the police woman. I would not recommend this to anyone and I wish I had not wasted my time watching it. There is no real suspense.