House of Forbidden Secrets

If I were Stephen King I would write some witty line like, "I have seen the future of Horror, and it lies in… The Past." More and more films today are bringing back the elements we all loved in Horror and Action cinema growing up. The classics that have infected generations of filmmakers is alive and well in the blood of the "new breed." No one really thinks of movies like Urban Legend anymore, but mention Suspiria or Zombie – eyes light up! It is this connection to the past that infuses the film House of Forbidden Secrets. It is a love letter to the Italian Horror films of the 70s and 80s. It even has a score by none other than Fabio Frizzi who wrote the music for all of Lucio Fulci's best. Not to say that this film is a rehash, because it isn't. And that is what makes me really love the film. It has the influence of these great Horror films of the past, but has a very original story to tell and a style all it's own. There are twists upon twists, and the great thing about it is, I could not tell you at the beginning of this film where it actually ends up. Nothing is really telegraphed. The surprises pack a punch and for a Horror film rooted in style and gore-soaked imagery, there are some strong characters on display and it is evident that the team who created the film actually CARED about the project.

This script is tight and the dialogue is pretty sharp and actually funny for the most part. The special effects are prosthetic, you know back when artists actually sculpted things and didn't rely on a computer to fix everything. There were a couple of really "out there" effects sequences that had my date gasping and covering her eyes. One in particular may be one of the nastiest splatter effects ever, and very Italian Horror in style.

The main cast of mostly unknown actors is surprisingly good. The leads Nicole Santorella and Antwoine Steele were both very strong, and I also really liked Millie Milan who seems so natural in front of a camera. She has an exotic look and I really enjoyed her. I am also a huge fan of the supporting cast. Lew Temple has always been given supporting roles that seem to never be big enough. Here, Lew actually shines. Without giving spoilers, let me just say that he is a character you will love to hate, and he tears into the part with gusto, energy, and a sly wink at the audience. Also giving a truly winning performance is Dyanne Thorne, star of the ILSA series of films. She is stunning. This is Dyanne's return to Horror and she makes the most of the well written dialogue. A scene between Lew and Dyanne had me so engaged that I wanted to rewind the film and watch it over and over. But I couldn't. This reviewer was lucky enough to catch the film with an audience who jumped, laughed and screamed at all the right moments. The audience also went crazy when George Hardy, of TROLL 2 fame, said his famous "Hospitality" line. It was great to see so many genre faces in this and all of them seemed to be having a blast. George's scenes with Allan Kayser, from Night of The Creeps, were also very funny. The "Bradster" still has trouble with the ladies, all these years later! Director Todd Sheets has learned much in his time away, and his return is a reason to celebrate if we get more films like this. Every frame is draped in gorgeous color and each composition is like eye candy. During a Q&A, Todd said he had decided to return to films after he had a quadruple bypass surgery from a heart attack. He said this film was made within a year of his release from the hospital. While I am very sorry that the man had to endure this tragedy, I am thankful to have him back. The care and passion that went into this film is evident from frame one, and in this age of commercial, cookie cutter movie of the week garbage, this is a very welcome addition to the Horror genre.

This is a great, modern Horror film that also feels familiar and inviting. It's as if Lucio Fulci, Lamberto Bava, Fred Olen Ray, H G Lewis and John Carpenter got together and made a film for a hundred thousand bucks. With a bit of Argento's visual flair thrown in as well. I really enjoyed it, and if you give it a chance and you love the original Horror classics like I do, I bet you'd like it too! One day Sheets name may be up there with the others, someone should give this guy some real money to work with, let him loose and see what would happen. I'd be in line for that.

The imdb synopsis gives more backstory to the new security guard than the movie does itself. I think his intro in the movie goes something like this: "This guy's the new security guard." Where to begin? Pair up sub-Manos-level acting with absolutely heinous dialogue, add a completely nonsensical story, and, what the hell, throw in some embarrassing period accents, and you've got House of Forbidden Secrets. This was an absolute train wreck, and a boring one! I was left with one question when this movie ended: What the hell was that supposed to be about?

Literally, the only interesting thing on this Blu-ray is Lloyd Kaufman hamming it up in the gag reel. And there's something that can be seen in a variety of places. Also, pet peeve. There are "deleted scenes" in the extras, when in all actuality they are "extended" scenes. I wish DVD authors would stop doing this. I'm not watching the entire scene all over again to see if I can spot a couple seconds they cut. Coincidentally, the movie itself has a penchant for recycling scenes, frame for frame, to, I dunno, pad out the running time?

Zero stars.

Oh look, the first guy to play Jason Voorhees, the guy from Trolls, Lloyd Kaufman, hey I know those names and enjoyed their most successful movies, I'd better rate this really high because I liked them in another movies right?

Wrong!

The top rating reviews here are fake and most likely written by those involved with the film. The acting is God awful, they're obviously ad-libbing a lot, but not good enough actors to make it funny or entertainment for the viewers, and it just drags on going nowhere, like it's trying to rely on B-grade actor star power on screen to engage you into thinking this movie is actually decent. The original 'Gone in 60 Seconds' had better acting than this!

The first time I saw "House" in a theater was in Tampa FL at the Tampa Pitcher Show screening. I had seen the film before, but at this screening I found myself still getting very wrapped up in the film's plot with all its twists. This film keeps you guessing at every turn and there isn't a dull moment throughout. I absolutely love some dark humor served with my horror, and this movie doesn't disappoint. What an amazing cast - everyone did such a great job! Lloyd Kaufman was a riot, and along with Brad and Antwoine brought that humor that I love. Dyanne Thorne was the perfect Madame and I adored her character. I think she was amazing in the role of Greta. Amazing performances by Lew Temple (Elias) and Nicole Santorella (Cassie) leading us through this crazy, creepy paranormal journey. Overall I loved that I was surprised, that I laughed, and yet was still creeped out by the plot and impressed by the effects. Todd is known for his love for gore in his films and this one remains true to form! I thought the dialog was great, and the story was original and unexpected. The crowd in attendance at the theater seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves and many offered their enthusiastic responses to the screening that night. My family was also there and I heard some very positive feedback. Very impressive and I am sure that I will watch "House" many more times in the future and love it more each time. Amazing work!

I grew up with cheesy horror movies from the 70's, 80's and 90's. I became a fan of the horror genre in general. So I am no newbie when it comes to B horror cheese. I went into this film thinking that it'd be pretty good, based on the scores given for the film. I mean, what movie could be bad when it has a cameo from the Lloyd Kaufman? Well, this movie wasn't good. I can't think of a single good thing to say about this movie besides the gratuitous nudity it has. There is no redeeming part of this film. From the actors, to the cinematography, it's all pretty bad. The movie appears to pride itself in the fact it considers itself a grind house film, but even then, while the acts of violence are apparent, they are done in such a direct way, with such poor effects, they don't do anything to make the movie any better. People will make mentions of films such as Blood Feast, when it comes to the graphic content of this movie. The thing is, even the victims of Blood Feast will writhe in agony while they are being brutalized in the film. But in this film, it's like the actors stand still while their faces are ripped off, or their entrails are pulled out. The story makes almost no sense. It doesn't help that the movie jumps all over the place, so there isn't really any sort of consistent story. I fell asleep twice while watching this film, I had to re-watch it almost three times. That's a terrible precedent for horror movies. If you fail to grab my attention so much I can't stay awake, you failed at your job. Avoid this at all costs. It's garbage, it's junk and it uses hyped up keywords to try and draw it's viewers in.