House of Forbidden Secrets

Oh look, the first guy to play Jason Voorhees, the guy from Trolls, Lloyd Kaufman, hey I know those names and enjoyed their most successful movies, I'd better rate this really high because I liked them in another movies right?

Wrong!

The top rating reviews here are fake and most likely written by those involved with the film. The acting is God awful, they're obviously ad-libbing a lot, but not good enough actors to make it funny or entertainment for the viewers, and it just drags on going nowhere, like it's trying to rely on B-grade actor star power on screen to engage you into thinking this movie is actually decent. The original 'Gone in 60 Seconds' had better acting than this!

The imdb synopsis gives more backstory to the new security guard than the movie does itself. I think his intro in the movie goes something like this: "This guy's the new security guard." Where to begin? Pair up sub-Manos-level acting with absolutely heinous dialogue, add a completely nonsensical story, and, what the hell, throw in some embarrassing period accents, and you've got House of Forbidden Secrets. This was an absolute train wreck, and a boring one! I was left with one question when this movie ended: What the hell was that supposed to be about?

Literally, the only interesting thing on this Blu-ray is Lloyd Kaufman hamming it up in the gag reel. And there's something that can be seen in a variety of places. Also, pet peeve. There are "deleted scenes" in the extras, when in all actuality they are "extended" scenes. I wish DVD authors would stop doing this. I'm not watching the entire scene all over again to see if I can spot a couple seconds they cut. Coincidentally, the movie itself has a penchant for recycling scenes, frame for frame, to, I dunno, pad out the running time?

Zero stars.

I grew up with cheesy horror movies from the 70's, 80's and 90's. I became a fan of the horror genre in general. So I am no newbie when it comes to B horror cheese. I went into this film thinking that it'd be pretty good, based on the scores given for the film. I mean, what movie could be bad when it has a cameo from the Lloyd Kaufman? Well, this movie wasn't good. I can't think of a single good thing to say about this movie besides the gratuitous nudity it has. There is no redeeming part of this film. From the actors, to the cinematography, it's all pretty bad. The movie appears to pride itself in the fact it considers itself a grind house film, but even then, while the acts of violence are apparent, they are done in such a direct way, with such poor effects, they don't do anything to make the movie any better. People will make mentions of films such as Blood Feast, when it comes to the graphic content of this movie. The thing is, even the victims of Blood Feast will writhe in agony while they are being brutalized in the film. But in this film, it's like the actors stand still while their faces are ripped off, or their entrails are pulled out. The story makes almost no sense. It doesn't help that the movie jumps all over the place, so there isn't really any sort of consistent story. I fell asleep twice while watching this film, I had to re-watch it almost three times. That's a terrible precedent for horror movies. If you fail to grab my attention so much I can't stay awake, you failed at your job. Avoid this at all costs. It's garbage, it's junk and it uses hyped up keywords to try and draw it's viewers in.

Cast, crew and their friends and family should be barred from rating and reviewing movies. They should be ashamed of the blatant BS they spew. This movie is sincerely awful from start to finish.

A well-constructed horror story with beautiful camera shots and lighting in the Dario Argento mold, House of Forbidden Secrets was a good Friday night frightfest. The build-up is nicely put together and you don't need to wait too long before scary things occur within the building. It takes a little bit of time to introduce the characters and set up the story, not in a "slow burn horror" kind of way like The Witch or Ring, but it does have something to say, storyline wise. The Previous occupants still present an ancient evil waiting deep in the bowels beneath the property, waiting to cross back into our world for some bloodthirsty revenge. Director Todd Sheets proves to have a good sense of style and mood, he crafts a film that works and doesn't want to pander to a younger, "hipper" audience for the sake of doing so. He does not pander to audiences who are used to super fast "music video" type editing either.

The tone, the setting, the music, the lighting and the twists in the plot were all produced to get maximum thrills on a meager budget. And I think it worked well here. It's obvious that everyone on this film worked very hard to make something original but that plays like an old Horror movie from the 70s or 80s. Though there are a few hitches, as is the case with most low budget movies, the film takes on a very ambitious story and ends up being a successful endeavor in which the plot, production, and effects are just enough to let the few budgetary glitches slide by barely even noticed. Much better than films that spend millions of dollars and fill the screen with CGI, If you allow yourself, you can be completely pulled into the film itself and take it for what it is, a fun throwback done right. House of Forbidden Secrets was exactly what I had hoped it would be, a fun way to spend an hour and a half.