Top Dog

I liked green street so I saw this movie while scrolling through netflix. I decided to download it to watch on the plane and it was decent to pass time.

Straight off, I'm not a huge fan of the genre. I find the Mockney accents and the incessant "Geez" muttered from the edge of a sneer, a bit cringeworthy. I don't generally find it possible to believe in the characters and be taken away from the thought that they're all RADA trained actors that call each other darling when the cameras are off (Big exception to that is Tom Hardy of course!).

So I watched this film not expecting much and wasn't disappointed.

The overall story was extremely predictable, I was never at the edge of my seat. I thought it was poorly directed in so much that it didn't build tension, it didn't develop the characters to create any empathy with any of them and more importantly, when our lead has reached his crux moment we were treated to a flashback montage that wouldn't have looked out of place in a 1980s episode of Neighbours.

The acting was average overall. The best friend's wife clearly used Waynetta Slob as her inspiration (although at least her accent sounded more authentic than others).

The lead actor needed to shave and punch the make-up artist who apparently hasn't worked in Hi-Def before.

Vincent Regan was the most believable in my eyes, always a pleasure to watch. He stole every scene although that wasn't exactly the Brink's Mat Heist. Ricci Harnett is OK but better as a henchman than a boss. Jason Flemyng must have been too busy working on good projects for a real part in this film. Shame, because he's a fantastic actor.

To summarise, don't bother watching it. You already know what happens or will quickly get to the point where you don't care.

Watch the Offender instead.

Within the first 5 mins I thought this was going to be rubbish , and I was right . However I stuck it out and it didn't get any better . Complete and utter tosh don't waste your time on this film .

I've never quite understood why they insist in speaking with these unreal London accents!

Needless to say this could have been an average film at best, but instead we are left with what seems a poorly edited, averagely directed and some rather poor acting. The plot is weak at its best and the script is so way off from we are expecting in terms of British film standards.

That said, if you have some free time on a Wednesday afternoon, you could do a lot worse.

Not our finest British hour.

I'm rather surprised that director Martin Kemp's London gangster drama Top Dog gets only an average 5.2 based on user ratings here. Although the figure is nominally above average, I've always thought that anything less than a 6 implies not only that the film is not very good, but that is rather bad. Top Dog by ex-Spandau Ballet bassist Kemp (and I'm sure he must hate that description - I mean no one refers to ex-RC seminarian Martin Scorsese or former jobbing artist Adolf Hitler) also got less than admirable reviews in the Guardian and the Huff Post and I do wonder why: it wouldn't have won an Oscar and does tread well-trodden ground but it does so with aplomb. In simpler words: as one of its kind Top Dog isn't at all bad and a lot better than some.

Were I writing for the Guardian I might write - although it didn't, it described the film, which it gave only one star out of a possible five, as 'witless' and 'low-level ladsploitation' (note the 'clever' wordplay there which will have amused guardianistas if no one else) - that Top Dog is an investigation into what happens when testosterone-fuelled male bravado gets way out of hand. In one sense 'witless' is apt as it does well to describe the leading figure (Leo Gregory), a man astute enough to run a car dealership well enough to afford him a nice lifestyle but who otherwise can see no further than his own ego and addiction to fighting with the fans of rival clubs.

The Guardian is very unfair: Gregory's Billy Evans, a man who gets way out of his depth when he locks horns with a local gangster and then eventually comes into the sights of a far more important - and far more dangerous - gangster, is neither glorified nor portrayed in any way as enviable. In that sense Kemp's film takes quite a moral stance although I doubt he would be too happy to have that sign hung around the film's neck.

Gregory gets great support from fellow actors, but a special mention should go to Vincent Regan who as the man Billy Evans should never have tangled with - though he certainly didn't do so on purpose - can get more menace into his Northern Irish brogue when ordering a glass of orange juice in a pub than many a man could get toting a handgun. The two female leads also do a good job at portraying long-suffering wives who love their husbands but do wish they would finally grow up.

So there you have it: ignore the average '5.2' the film gets here on IMDB and most certainly ignore the sniffy review in the Guardian. Top Dog does the job and does it well - as I say better than many such films. And the ending did take me by surprise. Give it a whirl if you come across it. (I caught it on Netflix.)