User reviews

Plot

This story is horrendous. I did my best, but I couldn't make sense of the plot, though I thought I could make head or tails of it when I was watching the trailer. Basically there is this spaceship and there are some people on it and around them there are a number of populated planets and moons, yet ask me what this all means and I won't be able to tell you.

Character Development

I didn't even know any of the character so I cannot say if any of them developed, but somehow I doubt it.

Acting

The acting, the hand to hand combat, the gun fighting and everything in between was awful. It just shows that you need some knowhow and talent to put a film together and it certainly helps when you got a working script for your actors to act from. I don't think I believe a single word anyone had said.

Overview

I gave this movie a chance because some of those that review it before me left room in their criticisms. Let me close that gap and say there is no way I am going to be watching the sequel. If you can believe it this film doesn't finish and leaves an opening to keep going. That would be a mistake because there is nothing good to continue. Better to make a fresh start in a completely new direction.

It was a porno right? I mean it must have been... what with the obvious innuendo twist on Jupiter Ascending (not heard it referred to as a "starship" before but whatever), much like the Flesh gordon take on Flash Gordon, the crappy acting, non existent plot. meaningless dialogue and the dodgy looking women displaying more make up than a Debenhams cosmetic counter and obvious low budget.

The narration started off quite well; thought it was going to have a Red Dwarf theme initially. Then it went a bit Doctor Whoish, which didn't bode well and by the time the introductory narration finished I had not only lost the plot but also the will to live.

Anyway, things perked up a bit when this fairly fit looking blonde rucked up. Here we go, I thought; crappy intro- check, crappy acting - check. About time for the blond to turn around to one of the guys and come up with some cheesy line like "Is that a "starship" in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me" before getting her kit off and some raunchy action. Boy was I disappointed. Where were all the sex scenes for fecks sake? Did they just forget to put them in or what? Veerrry disappointing.

Absolutely nothing redeeming about this title at all. The acting is bad, the dialogue is worse, the special effects are not special at all, the cinematography is lackluster, the costumes are like the kind you make as cosplayer, the sound was bad, the musical score basically non-existent, and to top it off the story is boring and uninteresting

If you watch the first 5 minutes you will immediately regret it. The main character is explaining their back story in this sci-fi futuristic action movie and they decided that adding scan lines to the video would make it more futuristic. And not well done scan lines that make the video seem like it might actually be a video...just a low transparency set of scan lines that a 12 year old would put into a video game they are programming because they saw the movie Aliens for the first time.

If you make it further than the abysmal intro you are sure to regret it. I had to force myself to finish it because I just wanted to see how bad it could really get and it gets really bad. Please if you have not watched this, do yourself a favor and don't. There is a reason it has such a low rating...if I could give it 0 I would, but 1 is the lowest possible score.

"Starship: Rising" is a very, very difficult film to review...and I should explain why. In some ways, it's a bad film--with poor writing and terribly shallow characters. I am not going to gloss over these problems--and they are serious. However, at the same time, the film appears to be amazingly good looking and professional--an odd combination, I know. To me, it has all the look of a fan production--a movie made for sci-fi fans and not intended for general release. And, if this was the case, you cannot really compare the film to a traditional movie. But, apparently it is being released on DVD and Amazon, for instance, is planning on releasing selling it in September.

So while I like some of the fan films, it's because I don't mind when the film has some rough edges--I expect them. And many of the best Star Trek and Star Wars fan films are very rough but also very enjoyable. As I watched "Starship: Rising", it appeared to be a fan film and thought the editor had sent me a fan film. A fan film, by the way, isn't intended for the average schnook out there--just the ultra-devoted sci- fi folks who might pick up a copy at a convention or pass it among themselves. "Starship: Rising", however, must be held to a higher standard if it's being released to the general public.

Neil Johnson wrote and directed the film and despite its many problems, it's also kind of amazing. Well, The CGI, while not up to the quality of a big-budget Hollywood film is surprisingly good and at times sure comes close to what you'd see in a big-budget theatrical release. I remember years ago when "Babylon 5" was the first TV show that exclusively used CGI for its outer space scenes and they were cool but rough (though the excellent writing more than made up for these shortcomings). However, "Starship: Rising" has graphics that are light- years ahead of those--and I was blown away that a relatively inexpensive film could look this good. And, it's not all looks--the soundtrack is very nice as well. It doesn't sound cheap at all and works well, though I'll admit that it is, occasionally repetitive. Together, they make a film that has a very professional look. As for the story about a dystopian galactic world where an insane leader is bent on destroying Terra (Earth), it has its moments and the various planetscapes look good. So, you have a film that is awfully rough and yet awfully good. I don't recommend it for the casual viewer but for hardcore lovers of sci-fi or folks who like fan pictures and have modest expectations, it's well worth your time. The casual viewer, on the other hand, will no doubt have serious problems with the writing and acting--they just didn't seem polished or ready for a full-length film. A nice try...and perhaps with experience Johnson will be able to pull it all together.

By the way, if you want to see a micro-budgeted sci-fi film that manages to have the great look you expect from a sci-fi outer space film AND great writing and characters, try to find a copy of "Hunter Prey". It is exceptional and packs a lot into a tiny budget...and you'd never notice the small budget when you see it on the screen.

Not the worst movie I've ever seen, the special effects were surprisingly quite good(pretty much the one element that showed signs of any effort) and Darren Jacobs and Emii do what they can in the lead roles. Nothing else on the other hand works. Other than the special effects Starship: Rising does not look very good, at its worst embarrassingly amateurish. The camera work and editing are choppy, at no point is there a well-placed camera angle. Even worse is the use of green and blue screen, very over-used and sometimes irrelevant, it's also so distracting that it was difficult to find any admiration in the sets. The music is generic, sluggishly paced and like a monotonous drone, and to make things worse it often overbears the dialogue, which can be blamed on the sound mixing recording the music too loud and the dialogue too soft. Not that the dialogue is anything special to begin with, in fact it's all over the place with lots of it sounding random and confused. The characters are under-written cardboard cut-outs that it's difficult to engage with them, and while the leads try their best the acting on the most part is laughably stiff. But the biggest problem with Starship: Rising is the story which is laboriously paced, incredibly convoluted to the point that trying to work out what's going on is a real struggle and with a lot of back-story that added and explained absolutely nothing, only succeeding in slowing the movie down. In conclusion, aside from the special effects and the efforts of the two leads Starship: Rising was almost unwatchable. 2/10 Bethany Cox

I could have done a better voice-over with out even trying if that gives you any clue how bad this movie was.

Forget waterboarding, force our enemies to watch this movie instead. It will get confessions out of them quickly. NO MORE, PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!

The actors, and I hesitate calling them that were terrible. Is there a sub-Z list?

The fat guy co-pilot who liked like he hasn't gotten out of a chair (except to eat) for fifteen years. Yea right, he couldn't have been co-pilot, he'd have to burn at least some calories moving.

Most of the live action was obviously filmed over a green screen and had this weird blur/fuzz over it.

The costumes consisted mainly of baseball and hockey gear spray painted silver, with electrical conduit strapped on.

What was good about it? Some of the special effects were kind of okay, they didn't all look cheap. And actually the music score wasn't that bad.

This is a movie that shouldn't have been made. And then the agony, a sequel is (gasp) announced at the end before the credits.

Why watch trash like this when there is something better?

"Starship Rising" is one of those Sci-Fi movies that tries too hard to accomplish a lot of things, but failing to do so and managed to swing and miss greatly in the attempts to achieve greatness.

The storyline is sketchy and not fully coherent. It is about a crumbling empire, and ah, well forget it, I don't really know, because the movie was just not easy to submerge yourself into, and I have to admit that I gave up not even 35 minutes into the movie.

What made me give up on the movie, aside from what seemed to be a series of random scenes put together and calling it a movie, was the overall sense of failed blue (or green) screen scenes that were dominant throughout the entire movie. The scenes just looked so fake that you want to claw your eyes out.

The CGI effects were adequate though. Although I didn't really get the fact why every spaceship had to fly in turning spiral. It just didn't make any sense. And the weaponry on the ships, well they were just laughable and anything but believable. And the infantry weaponry as well, a rifle that was almost bigger than the woman carrying it? Sure, why not...

The movie borrows a lot from other Sci-Fi franchises and movies, and that ultimately makes it seem like a product that is not its own, but a mere cash-in on what other TV shows and movies managed to succeed on. Except that "Starship Rising" just failed to execute it.

This was definitely a Sci-Fi movie that swung wide and missed even wider.

I literally just create an account to warn everyone that this sh*t (can't even call it a movie) WASTED an hour of my life. This sh*t is the worst decision you will ever made, worse than missing the birth of your first kid, worse than EVERYTHING. This is probably the worst thing you will ever see.

I have to give props to the first few minutes, because it is the only thing that keeps me watching until the end cause I was hoping this leads to something spectacular (never mind the "acting" and all those stuff), but really nothing.NOTHING. C G I was good if this is for some high school project or something, but really how can anyone decided to produce a movie like this?

Somewhere right now Roger Corman is practicing rolling in his grave.

gar·bage /ɡärbij/ noun North American

wasted or spoiled food and other refuse.

synonyms: trash, rubbish, refuse, waste, detritus, litter, junk, scrap; scraps, leftovers, remains, slops, nonsense, balderdash, claptrap, twaddle, blather; dross, rubbish, tripe, jive, bilge, bull, bunk, poppycock, piffle, bunkum, vulgar, slangcrap, crapola

...and now a recipe for Corned Beef Hash:

1 Heat butter in a large skillet (preferably cast iron) on medium heat. Add the onion and cook a few minutes, until translucent.

2 Mix in the chopped corned beef and potatoes. Spread out evenly over the pan. Increase the heat to high or medium high and press down on the mixture with a metal spatula.

3 Do not stir the potatoes and corned beef, but let them brown. If you hear them sizzling, this is good. Use a metal spatula to peek underneath and see if they are browning. If nicely browned, use the spatula to flip sections over in the pan so that they brown on the other side. Press down again with the spatula. If there is too much sticking, you can add a little more butter to the pan. Continue to cook in this manner until the potatoes and the corned beef are nicely browned.

4 Remove from heat, stir in chopped parsley. Add plenty of freshly ground black pepper, and add salt to taste.

Serve with fried or poached eggs for breakfast.

...'nuff said.

Is this groundbreaking in any way? No

Is this story new and innovating? Nope done many times before. But I have seen plenty of famous top budget movies with less plot. Lets face it is is by now it is hard to make up with a story not somewhat done in a book or movie. Some did also find it hard to follow. There are a lot of characters at different places back and forth, but I did not really have any trouble seeing who was the good and bad guys at any time.

Is the acting great? nope - but still not worse than many blockbusters.

Is there any character development? Not really a lot. But I did not expect a movie called Starship Rising to be the new Hamlet.

Was I bored while watching it? Hell no. I had a pretty good time watching it. it is by no way a great movie but for me fine enough to relax my brain and just enjoy.. It is maybe not a movie I would search for, but if on a movie site or telly near you then click play without expecting anything big.

In the future, the universe is controlled by the Federation - Some people decide to rebel when orders are given to destroy earth but really this plot doesn't come across at all or make any sense what so ever.

It is extremely rare that I will not watch a film to the end no matter how terrible it is but this was just really dire. After 10 minutes I found my mind wandering, after 20 minutes I had no interest in any of the characters, story or plot - what there was of it. There was simple no level of emotion of realism in any of the performances.

The story as it stands is basically ripped off the old BBC series Blake's 7, which had the universe controlled by the Federation and their weapons system for controlling the climates on a thousand worlds was called Star One - all sounding very familiar - I mean at least give the bad guys a different name come on!

I am trying to think of some constructive comments to make about this movie. The FX cheap though they were at least were trying to create a sense of worlds and a universe within which these dull bland characters existed. Generally Hollyoaks is not the best place to find your lead actor and top criticism here has to go Darren Jacobs who is just plain bad. The chief Villain is just someone (The Director) doing a bad Bane voice with some awful CGI.

Because there is so much CGI and everything bar a few tiny sets is basically very sterile there is no sense of time or place. Characters were not well introduced, the script was really really poor and the space battles are just terrible.

It's really rare I will give such a low review but in this case there was no other option, rebellion or not.

This film is painful to watch and is so shockingly poor that itis a must if your in an accident as it might appeal then. Seriously do your homework before damaging your head.

Seriously this type of release should be banned and the producers sued for releasing it to the public. The only slightly positive reviews are probably from the blind and deaf or from the people involved in the making of this junk.

There should be a level at which a film is called out as nothing but a mistake and all involved should be prevented from making any other films ever again, any salary paid for this should be returned to the investors and any profits from conning people should be refunded and on top of that money paid to the viewers for the time wasted watching this, time is money and this was a loss for everyone involved.

From disgustingly bad acting, to terrible scenery that was never believable to the lack of a storyline or the following of any storyline is a crime to the film industry. This is when the industry should be sued till they bleed and forced to never release anything like this ever again.Damn if i did such a bad job i would be fired and everyone would be warned about hiring me.

Thanks to this film i did not get laid and had to masturbate to get any satisfaction, but as one reviewer says it was not even worth masturbating over any of the actors who were worse than any porn acting, so i had to masturbate over GOT which is just sad on my part

Starship: Rising has potential if the script and actors were better. The movie could be great if redone by a competent director/screenwriter. Loved the visuals.

Pros: - Visuals are stunning for the budget. Planets, locations, environments are artwork.

• The blonde is the best actor(which isn't saying much) and not bad looking

Cons: - Some questionable camera angles

• No character building

• Script/storyline jumps around, hard to follow

• Bad acting, emotions, horrible script

• Overuse of hose and flexible conduit in ship and uniforms. Female pilot has hoses all over her costume with no practical use, looks messy and overdone.

This is a horribly executed movie. The acting is terrible, the plot seems written by a junior high-school student, and special effects and wardrobe are ineffective. This has to be a YouTube collaboration of sci-fi super-fans or a tax write-off of some sort. I literally had to watch it in three parts. I could not stand the abysmal acting or dialogue. I can look past low budget wardrobe and scenery (props and/or CGI) when the acting and script are engrossing. There are many gems out there that suffer from a low budget, but make for good entertainment and have re-make value. This is definitely not one of those gems. I should have know after the first 3 minutes... after 3 separate introductory narrations had taken place. I'd say, they tried, but I'm not sure how hard they really did. So sad, but even divided into three sections, it's still one and a half hours I could have been watching paint dry rather than force myself through this movie. I recommend steering as far away from this atrocity. Don't encourage such horrific work.

Just about the cheesiest sci-fi film I've ever nearly watched.

I tried to sleep through most of it but got woken up by loud bangs (and those weren't the sex scenes). Some of the 'special effects' were a bit steamy... for retro rockets... like something out of a 1940s Buck Rogers pastiche.

The overly elaborate weapons with too many extraneous appendages which would be totally impractical in a real battle... The unnecessary shower hose uniforms... The motocross chrome plastic body armour.

Various bits and pieces out of a car mechanic's spare parts bin, including an odd 4 inch corrugated rubber hose with jubilee clips that fat boy kept looking into...

Storyline..? Next.

What can you expect for a mere $3 million, including McDonalds key actors delivery?

Did it ever make its budget?

Who knows?

Who cares..!

If you thought you've seen the worst movie in history and you haven't seen this you are sorely mistaken. It seems to be some set during some kind of futuristic dystopia with a 15 minute exposition dump right at the beginning of this terrible terrible movie. The actors look like they just came in off the street did one take and left. There's some kind of Emperor Palpatine rip off calling himself the overseer. The lead looks to be the son of a dissident. His father was murdered but it happened so quick I'm not even sure why they killed him. He's then shown in some kind of hovel looking at 2 dixie plates (food I suppose) remarking he wants to be a pilot. It's so bad you should watch it just for posterity. Then you can say you've seen the worst movie since moving talking pictures were invented. The worst there is, the worst there was, the worst there ever will be..