Night of the Tentacles

sometimes I watch a movie and feel bad for not liking it. It happened earlier this year with rob zombies lords of salem and now again with night of the tentacles. The reason I say I feel bad is because I know the filmmakers have potential and I wish them success but in these cases they in my opinion flop. This is the second movie I have seen by Dustin Mills Productions. Its a micro budget, campy, practical, gory, comedic labour of love. My kind of movie. I love the effort put into these types of movies and I find them to be very inspiring. That being said, night of the tentacles just didn't do it for me. The actual tentacles were a cheap cgi that made for very uninteresting kills and kind of make the story drag on, if im not getting good kills in a low budget movie then the characters and dialogue better make up for it. In this movie they almost do, The main character is really the only notable actor, he does a great job emulating an early Bruce Campbell or Jim carrey type of over acting rub face. Hes great and id give him a role in my movie any day. Everyone else unfortunately is a throw away. The dialogue is all pretty much forgettable except for his neighbors dirty sex talk which add the only real laughs in what should be a balls to the wall cheese fest. What should have been an entertaining sleeze fest turned out to be more of a boring chore to watch unlike dustin mills "Zombie a-hole" which was flawed yet still much better than "tentacles". I still feel dustin mills has a few aces up his sleave and I look forward to watching "bath salt zombies" but for now I would recommend watching "Mold! the movie", "Father's Day (troma)", or "Cadaver Christmas" for your fill of low budget indie goodness!

The Dustin Mills machine is at it again. His first feature, Puppet Monster Massacre, is an exercise in sock puppet hilarity. Night of the Tentacles ups the ante another notch, introducing us to real actors, on real sets, with very little green screen action. The whole show takes place in one apartment, with a few exterior shots that look like Akron, Ohio. I met Dustin and his wife at the HorrorHound weekend in Columbus, and they are great people. What goes on the screen however…

Brandon Salkil delivers an outstanding performance as Dave; he alternates between a haunted James Woods and Bruce Campbell's Ash. Tentacles fly, Satan raps. Demon delivery boys ask to fart on Dave while masturbating. Mills cameos as a PBR swilling maintenance man intent on "screwing everything". Jackie McKown as Delilah delivers a 5 minute whiz only to be tentacle-impaled at the end of it. Throw in copious amounts of semen, more masturbation (the only IMDb keyword is "masturbation"), and a monster-in-a-box that sounds like Elmer from Brain Damage. There you go, an homage best categorized as Slime City meets Basket Case with a dollop of Brain Damage thrown in. By no means is this a copy of those films, but a well-constructed, well-lit, well-composed low budget film intent on entertaining.

And entertain it does!

Some nudity, and a ton of… masturbating. In retrospect, this movie had a lot of self-flagellation going on. Four gallons of blood, mostly CGI, a rapping Satan (brilliant), and a Reservior Dogs suited demon named Belial who delivers lines like "Are you sure you don't want to masturbate? I can break wind on you while you do it. It's fun." Mills, you're nuts, and I love it.

Synopsis: Night of the Tentacles is a great companion piece to Brain Damage. Roll in some Frankenhooker, a six-pack of PBR, and your favorite deranged-flick watching buddy and it'll be a great night. Enjoy.

I put this on with very little expectations, the story sounded potentially entertaining but I've seen these sort of films go horribly wrong and I did almost switch it off after 5 mins. But then I was glad I left it on because I rather enjoyed it, I also recommended it to a like minded friend who also enjoyed it. Yeah it looks like it cost £50 to make and the monster a little rubbish, and yeah no Oscar winning performances (tho I felt the acting suited the film) or groundbreaking originality but I felt it worked for me and did make me laugh. The camera work wasn't the worst I've seen either for a low budget film. If you like your indie horror films like me I'd give this a go. I'd score it 6.5 but gave it a 9 to deservedly bump it up a little.

Dave (Brandon Salkil) is a 24-year-old loser who scrapes a living painting digital erotica for sci-fi geeks. When he's not creating his 'art' (oh, the agony and the ecstasy of painting alien semen in zero gravity), he's busy masturbating while eavesdropping on his sexually frustrated, pregnant neighbour Esther (Nicole Gerity), who lives in the apartment below. It is while he is knocking one out to the sounds of Esther's self-gratification that he suffers an unexpected heart attack.

After surgery, Dave is informed that he has poor circulation and desperately needs a replacement heart if he wants to go on living. His solution: sell his soul to the devil in exchange for a new organ, one that, if he looks after it properly, can give him eternal life. The only problem is that, according to the small print in the contract he hurriedly signs, he must now feed his new heart two humans a week in order to keep it pumping.

Of the three films I have seen by low-budget horror director Dustin Mills (the others being Kill That Bitch and Bath Salt Zombies), this is easily my favourite. It offers up the same sort of lurid content to be found in the other two films—bargain basement gore and gratuitous nudity from a selection of tattooed women—but it also has a wickedly dark (and often very silly) sense of humour that makes it all the more irresistible.

Taking his cues from such low-budget classics as Roger Corman's The Little Shop of Horrors and Frank Henenlotter's Basket Case, Mills has crafted a delightfully warped tale that—in addition to a chatty tentacled heart with one eye—features such demented delights as a chubby tattooed bird being pulled down the loo while taking a leak, a couple interrupted by the heart's killer tentacles while having sex, a perverted demon called Belial who offers to fart on Dave while he cranks one out, and an Evil Dead-style splat-stick finale that sees Dave attacking the monstrous heart with a carving knife.

Even though this is utterly deranged, lowbrow nonsense, all shot on a micro budget, Mills' script is surprisingly well written, his cast put in reasonable performances, and the director displays a keen knowledge of his craft, employing an impressive range of film-making techniques.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for having the nerve to make the monster so laughable when we finally get to see it (a nod to the shonky nature of Henenlotter's creature in Basket Case, perhaps).

Night of the Tentacles (aka Heart Attack) is the second movie I've viewed from Dustin Mills and it's another class slice of modern shoe-string budget horror. Rather than go for the "found footage" or all out shocker, Mills' original movies have a warm-hearted '80s vibe. They're underground, but in a soft and fluffy way (at least, for a short while, Mills is planning to explore darker themes in his movies from 2014 onwards).

For me, Dustin Mills is today's Frank Henenlotter. In fact, this movie has a few passing nods to Henenlotter's Basket Case (1982) with its principal antagonist hidden in a small chest for a large proportion of the proceedings.

Mills' always leaves me gobsmacked. His scripts are a rare beast; full of terrific lines, genuinely funny moments, pure gold. The written word is beautifully captured on video with solid performances from the cast. Brandon Salkil (Mills' regular actor) is a revelation, a modern Bruce Campbell with sprinklings of Matt Smith.

The icing on the bloody cake is the effects, both practical and computer generated. Low budget, yes. Creative, definitely.

I give this movie 8 starts. It's a good 'un.