The Bone Garden

I don't know where to begin. This was awful in every way. Unimaginably awful. I mean, the DP and sound guy knew their basic jobs, and they did a basic job. This wasn't even intentially bad, it was just plain inept on every level. The "twist" wasn't even uninspired, it was plain irrationally stupid. Stupid is the word, you see, because this movie doesn't deserve a more evocative adjective. I find it absolutely hilarious this guy made a movie recently which he subtitled "An Arthouse Film" because this movie was as far from creative, skillful, or artistic as you can possibly get. Everything about it was utterly basic-- as an example, the editing cut together conversations so that every time a person spoke, the camera showed them, except for a few token moments when the editor remembered you don't have to do that. Picture to yourself if the director and actors of the most inane Disney channel tween sitcom made a "thriller" with middle aged actors-- that's getting close to the joke this was.

This is like watching a movie a High School kid made for a grade, and he got a C-. It was pretty much too awful to watch but it was like a train wreck you just couldn't stop. The characters were so stiff especially the next-door neighbor when she meets him in the school and he tries to look menacing. Lol.

Well, for a thriller then this 2014 movie titled "The Bone Garden" wasn't actually all that bad. Wait, at least it wasn't all that bad right up until the last quarter of the movie, then everything just fell apart. And I have to say that the last quarter of the movie totally ruined everything that writer and director Mike Gutridge had managed to accomplish up to that point. And I will actually go as far as to saying that the change of events and what happened in that last quarter of the movie was definitely some of the worst I've seen in a movie in a long, long time.

The storyline told in "The Bone Garden" was actually fairly entertaining, and it had that whole 'who did it' vibe going on, and director Mike Gutridge actually managed to make a wholehearted and entertaining movie.

But then he shot himself in both feet with what he opted for in that dreadful and ghastly last quarter. That whole plot twist was just so outrageously bad that it totally killed off the movie. It was so bad that I think it will be imprinted into my memory for a long time to come.

The acting in the movie was adequate, though it was very clear that it wasn't award-winning material that you are in for here, when you sit down to watch the 2014 movie "The Bone Garden".

Ultimately, then "The Bone Garden" is not a movie that I would recommend you waste your time, money or effort on, especially not so with that abysmal last quarter of the movie.

My rating of "The Bone Garden" lands on a mere two out of ten stars. I would have rated it a five stars actually, but then that horrible last quarter rolled on to the screen and it just knocked the movie down so hard. Of course, I am not going to ruin it by revealing what happened, you'll just have to sit down and see for yourself - or actually, you better not.

I could handle the low budget at first. I could handle the so-so acting at first. Then, things just kept getting worse. And worse. And worse.

I don't understand the plot much. Men are cheaters, abusers, and occasionally nice. Women need support so they can be independent. Unless they are psychopathic. Oooooh my.

As the paper thin plot unfolds, things make less and less sense. And as people are supposed to lose themselves, acting turned to "What is the most common way we can convey that I'm a homicidal manic? Yeah, do it that way! Really over the top!" Sadly, the acting over the top is still a mediocre display of trite 1 note behaviors. Ho and a Hum.

Not worth anything really.

Alice Hardy is a middle-aged woman living in an idyllic country town. Everything seems to be going just right until new, unfriendly neighbours move in. Now townsfolk are being murdered.

I had low expectations for this. It looked like a typical B-grade horror movie, complete with a cast and crew of unknowns and poor production values. Yet, for more than half of the movie it was quite interesting. The plot was intriguing and the characters, especially Alice and Laurie and their relationship, quite engaging. Direction was hardly brilliant but worked and the performances were fairly solid, especially considering the cast.

The plot was set for a great conclusion, with the primary suspect as to who the murderer being so obvious as to clearly having to be a be a red herring, making the identity of the actual murderer even more intriguing.

Then it all fell apart. The red herring wasn't a red herring. Not satisfied with this, writer-director Mike Gutridge then takes the plot off on a random tangent. The ending is nonsensical and massively disappointing after the potential shown for the bulk of the film. Ended pretty much how I suspected the whole film would be before I watched it.