Slink

The movie starts with an old dude with the worst dyed red hair in history, interviewing a high school student who looks like she's 30 at a tannning salon.

He goes in the back room to talk to (his wife?) a really bad plastic surgeried old chick who promptly takes a hammer for no reason and kills the girl. Cut to titles.

Hands down this is one of the worst movies I've seen in a while. The acting is attroctious. The storyline is downright dumb and none of it makes sense.

Full disclosure: I wound up fast forwarding through large chucks of the movie because it's unwatchable. The only decent parts are when the silicone babes remove their clothes to get on the tanning bed.

The acting was horrendous but the story concept was interesting. That's the reason for the 2 stars instead of 1. The majority of the actors felt like they were reading the script offstage and felt so fake. The purse store owner looked like she had one too many plastic surgeries and the fake contacts, omg. Don't waste your time with this one.

I watched this on Tubi TV and I'm honestly not sure why I finished it. I guess the initial idea for a horror movie wasn't the worst I've seen. Unfortunately, the dialog was awful. The acting was possibly the worst I've seen in a free Tubi horror movie. There's very little redeeming here. You'd be better off watching a rerun of This Old House. And that says a lot, because I can't stand that show. But the acting is on a par. My advice, don't stick it out until the end because it doesn't really have an ending. Oh, and there are scenes where they plainly lost the sound track, because it's dead silent. No, it isn't an artistic choice, they just plainly did not have sound for those parts. Yes, it is that bad.

Even the worst movies have some kind of music for title and transitions. I would check out their other works, but...I other things to do. Thankfully, Aunt May identified herself cuz I didn't know who any of the other characters were. Still, I've seen worse.

Given the synopsis for this movie, you know that you are not going to be in for something great. But still, I decided to give the movie a chance, you just might never know, it could have been the surprise of the century...

...but it wasn't. By all that is unholy, this movie was just awful. It is without a doubt one of the worst horror/thriller movies I have had to suffer through. The storyline was, well, boring to say the least. The characters were one-dimensional and the acting was wooden at best. This whole movie just reeked.

But it gets better, apparently most of the movie was just about having to show off more or less naked ladies on the screen as they were to make use of the tanning salon. And the fight scenes in the movie, well I will not say anything, because it has to be seen to be believed. Yeah, it was that bad.

The storyline in "Slink", or what passed as a storyline, is about a maniacal tanning salon owner who uses the customers for supplying his deranged purse-making wife with materials for her handiwork.

That was basically it for the story. It never at one moment had me captivated at any point, as there just was nothing in the movie to support a proper story. And the horrendous acting did nothing to help the movie along. Maybe it is just me, but were some of the people in the movie something taken out from a 'when plastic surgery goes bad' TV show?

Usually I don't pay much attention to the music score and soundtrack in movies, but this was just outstanding. And not in a good way, mind you. The music, well if you can actually call it that, was just an atrocity in itself. It was really, really bad, even for a horror movie.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste 80 minutes on watching this. Even bad horror movies from the mid-eighties were better than this one. It is without a doubt in the top ten worst horror movies that I have seen in my 38 years so far.

And they say that you can't help but look when you're pass by an accident site, this movie will prove them wrong. This accident of a movie will not catch your eye, I guarantee it.