Perfect: Android Rising

Wow. I don't get to see movies THIS bad very often.

There's a huge trend right now for horrible movies that are bad for the sake of bad. See "Sharknado", and it's like. And those movies are infinitely better than this thing.

Right from the start, the dialogue is usually not even audible over the background music or sound effects... or when the characters aren't near the camera. Clearly recorded directly on the camera rather than looped or using booms or anything. It's just as well, though, since the acting is terrible and dialogue is delivered terribly.

The SFX are... you know, just about anyone can do decent SFX at home now. These still fall short. Other than screen overlays, nothing looks decent. The fake CGI blood spatter is bad enough, but the cheap painted on non-CGI blood? There's no excuse for that. Karo syrup and food colouring works better.

Oh, and hand-to-hand fight sequences... please. At least pretend your punch is actually connecting.

Which brings me to the plot, and the point where I admit that I couldn't make it past 40 minutes into this thing. 40 minutes of bad audio, bad dialogue, bad acting, bad SFX and a plot that you pretty much feel that you've already seen hundreds of times. No thanks.

I posted this review despite not seeing the entire movie because I noticed there are some positive, highly rated reviews for this movie. And claims that they are fake. I don't think they're fake, I think they were posted by people who are happy to watch, and enjoy, horrible movies. People, there is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED to put up with movies like this! There are GOOD movies out there. Hell, there are bad movies out there that are still better than this. You guys are just encouraging the trend of below-mediocrity, and I for one would really appreciate it if you stopped.

Maybe they filmed this movie using Iphones? It seems like only one camera was used. There are two types of shots. First, a long shot usually from about thirty to forty feet, and from the floor looking up. So when people are walking towards the camera, the picture is looking up at them from forty feet away until they get closer. The next shot is super-close-ups, so that each character 's face fills up the entire screen.

I gave up after about twenty minutes, it was making me dizzy. When the characters are talking you get one giant close up, then it pans to the other character's full face close-up when he or she responds, and on and on, like watching a tennis match.

All the scenes were at warehouses. The beginning has people (17 according to one character) breaking into a warehouse to rob it. They all get killed (only four are actually seen) by the world's most advanced android. This top-secret android is guarding a warehouse, so that tells you how dumb this movie is.

Another two scenes of the android prison (also a warehouse), and the android headquarters (also a warehouse) follow. More than likely all the same warehouse, from different areas. Apparently in the future everything looks like a warehouse.

Oh, and the android is chubby. That was kind of funny in a sad way.

This is just a tad better than the movies my kids used to make with our camcorder. Watched as far as I could because I wanted to see why this movie was so poorly rated. Now I know. First off, it appears to be filmed with one camera and not by a professional. If the plot was about some guy running around with a hand-held, fine. But it isn't. I'm an accountant and could write better dialogue and likely could act better as well. Oh and I suck at writing and acting. This is essentially what porn videos are like but without the porn part. I understand that people want to try to make movies. I'm sure it could be fun. But then trying to market it and selling to the public is an altogether different proposition. Anyone who bought this movie could just show a jury the first few minutes of the film and probably be awarded pain and suffering.

I'm open minded. So I thought I would watch the trailer for myself ...knowing of course that would be the best part of the movie. The trailer was so awful I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Not more than 10 seconds! Watch it yourself and decide. It's amazing how it could be so bad. Truly amazing. Unfortunately there are very few really great movies out there. But there are even fewer that are this bad! Congrats! Why have a rule for 10 lines of text for a review? I'm open minded. So I thought I would watch the trailer for myself ...knowing of course that would be the best part of the movie. The trailer was so awful I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Not more than 10 seconds! Watch it yourself and decide. It's amazing how it could be so bad. Truly amazing. Unfortunately there are very few really great movies out there. But there are even fewer that are this bad! Congrats!

Where to even start with this one? First, why did I even decide to watch this? Well, I'll tell you why... I don't know. I guess I saw it and thought it might be one of those "so bad it's good" movies and that I might get some good laughs out of it. Nah. Didn't happen. It's just one of those "so bad it's really bad" movies. And what's up with the super close-up shots of everything and everyone in every scene? All I can think is that either the cameraman had abnormally long arms or the close shots enabled them to not need to worry about the sets pieces and environments as much. Either way it makes the film feel really claustrophobic.

A couple of the actors were actually decent in a B-Movie, I'm-about-to-be-murdered-for-sport kind of way. For some reason I watched this whole thing. It was like a bad wreck I couldn't look away from. In that sense maybe it was a little entertaining. In a much realer sense though, it was painful imagining what these poor actors had to endure in making this "movie". This movie also appears to have like 5 different names or something. Not sure what that's about. Anyways, don't watch it.