Roadside Massacre

Cant believe the the number of BAD reviews of this movie. It's nowhere near as bad as its made out to be. The criticisms tend to be around the camera work or acting ability. I thought the way it was filmed created a 'realness'. And anyway,we shouldnt be looking for academy awards or oscars. Its a horror movie in the likes of the classic 'Friday the 13th' from the 80s slasher genre. In fact it reminded me of that movie in its particular 'feel'. I am not giving any spoilers here. Watch the movie for yourself, suspend criticism and belief and just enjoy it for what it is. A classic style nightmare scenario. There are some genuinely bad horror movies out there. This,in my opinion,is NOT one of them.

"Roadside Massacre" or "Texas Roadside Massacre" which ever title you are, you are positively average in every way. I actually liked this movie. It was hooky and fun in all the right ways. Then again, I expected this to be kind of a crappy little horror movie, so I was surprised when I thought the acting was good and the cinematography was pretty on the mark. Starts off strong. Gets boring at time (i assume for time), but in the end I thought this was a pretty good effort. Can't say it really broke new grounds or was scary, but i've seen so many crap films in my life, this one doesn't really deserve to be beat up as badly. Then again, I never really watched this movie expecting a Hollywood masterpiece or a visionary new take on the genre. The girl not he cover was hot, horror movies are fun... and the crappier they are, sometimes the better. Get off your high horses, it wasn't that good, but it also wasn't that bad either.

The best word to describe this is simple, terrible. When I got it I knew full well it would be terrible but just wanted to watch it because i knew it would be laughably bad, was not wrong. Only thing that made it worse was the fact that it is actually meant to be a serious film. At least with Scary Movie 5 it's bad in a comedic sort of way. With this, when the killer strikes the stereotypical ditsy hot blonde screams in a high-pitch voice "oh my god!" over and over while the killer goes to work as if that will do anything and just stands there yelling instead of actually doing something productive. I have only seen the first 30 minutes of it at the time of writing this but just wanted to write this now instead of waiting till the end. This is my first ever film review on this website.

It could have been a decent B movie, but the decisions made by the lead female character are ignorant even by horror movie standards. Twice she actually runs AWAY from a running car that could have carried her to safety. Hard to watch.

Let me start by saying that the "Director" works as an 'electric'. Just because one can carry a 10K doesn't mean they can direct a movie.

First I'd like to point out one of the most stupid, careless methods in visually identifying a plot point I've ever witnessed. After being served by a waitress, a customer runs out of a restaurant to her car and looks at a picture of her sister in order to verify that the WAITRESS IS IN FACT HER SISTER!!!! What the hell? Does this character suffer from some mental disorder that she forgets what her sister looked like? If she did it's never addressed again.

There is no action in this film. It opens promisingly enough, but soon after it just turns into a boring talk fest that has nothing interesting to say.

The acting has the same consistency of cardboard. The director must have spent all of his time at the craft service table because the shot structure is very unimaginative. It's just MED, CU - MED, CU over and over. There are no thrills or suspense. Every moment is telegraphed by one of those Star Trek transporters. Then there's a scene with a sheriff who appears to have been kidnapped from Knotts Berry Farm. I couldn't believe that he had a small dime store tin badge on his vest, which looked like it was cannibalized from some crew members three piece suit.

I'm convinced this picture was edited by a Cuisinart. I'm sure they just plopped all those MEDs and C.U.'s into the receptacle and flipped that switch to high. Pushing buttons on a computer does not make one an editor.

Most of the sets look alike. Nothing appears authentic. I think the filmmakers must have used their bedroom for a all purpose location. Come on guys at least make a little attempt of an effort! That's it this film is too crappy to waste any more time on…

You have a few precious minutes in life. Don't waste any on this stupid junk.