The Radleys

The Radleys are a highly thought of, upstanding family in The community, but they hide a dark secret, they're vampires. Their solidarity and normal life ends when the younger members learn who and what they are.

I was seriously looking forward to this film, the list of names, Euros Lyn, Kelly Macdonald and the wonderful Damian Lewis.....sadly the realisation was lacking.

It wasn't funny enough to be a comedy, wasn't dark enough to be a horror, not was it clever enough to be a thriller, it just made for amiable enough background noise.

Lewis clearly had a bit of fun playing two parts, but ultimately it was a waste of his talents.

Are we really now in the age of The Vegan Vampire, it was always going to happen, as a child I used to love Count Duckula, the only Vegetarian vampire duck, even he'd struggle with this one.

Disappointing.

5/10.

I came into The Radleys with low expectations so wasn't too disappointed with this completely unnecessary addition to the vampire genre.

It played like an overlong episode of a daytime soap opera with the budget to match. I'm curious as to how a film so poor was green lit in the first place, perhaps a bet or a dare.

I recon it could have been 30 minutes shorter but ideally about 1 hour 55 minutes shorter. I made the error of not watching it all in one go so it actually felt like it lasted for days.

I won't include any spoilers as my brain has done me the service of forgetting most of it presumably to clear space for something (anything) far better.

A bit harsh the ratings this lighthearted vampire flick gets on here. Well that's only my opinion, and my wife's I guess as she enjoyed it as well. Okay it's not a movie that will blow you away, but which one really does in this genre? It's certainly good enough to watch once, and although some actors could have done better overall it wasn't all that bad. I've seen Damian Lewis and Kelly MacDonald doing better in other movies but they were still enjoyable to watch. I'm glad I watched it. Would I watch it again in the future? Probably not, unless I forget everything about it and then I wouldn't mind rewatching it.

The Good: Interesting themes as metaphors for Vampirism (sexuality, addiction, ancestry, teen angst), decent performances from Kelly McDonald and Damian Lewis, original British town-setting of Whitby, gorgeous cinematography.

The Bad: Falsely adveritised as a comedy-horror/thriller. "The Radleys" is none of those things, not scary or dark enough to be a horror, not funny enough to be a comedy, or thrilling enough to be a thriller. If you want a comedy-horror/thriller, check out any of the greats from the 80's ("Fright NIght", "An American Werewolf in London", "The Lost Boys" etc.) No suspense or stakes (pun intended). No particularly engaging characters, they're all just a bit meh (even Uncle Will). Shaun Parkes is criminally underused as a practical mute throughout the whole film, despite maybe 5 lines of dialogue. Very poorly paced.

The Verdict: At best, "The Radleys" can only be described as a familial-drama with specks of horror (it doesn't romanticise the horror enough or show you the seductive sleazy appeal of the other side to be classified as suburban-gothic like, say, "American Beauty"). Despite the interesting above-mentioned themes and parallels raised in a grounded setting, none are properly developed nor explored ("Bones & All" does it waaaaaaaaaay better) and for all the talk of bloodlust being the most pleasurable thing in the world, you never see anyone having any fun with it. The best part is probably the third and final act (last 15 minutes), but it's a snooze-fest to get there and makes you wish it was something more... satisfying than a TV movie. Even more so as a brit-flick that dares not belong to the gamut of historical epics, rom-coms, or biopics.

It follows a seemingly ordinary family with a dark secret: they are vampires. They choose not to drink blood despite their natural cravings, but their truth is revealed one day.

Kelly Macdonald is strong as Helen Radley. Bo Bragason is strong also as Clara Radley. Damian Lewis and the rest of the cast are pretty vague and don't really have any presence. Casting is a huge error.

The story is about a family of vampires who don't drink people's blood anymore. The problem is, there is no story. It's more like a few days in the life of a boring family of vampires. We lurch from scene to scene with nothing really happening. There are constant scenes where people just look at each other, or stare at the wall. Nothing is happening and no feeling is being communicated to us. People are just standing or sitting, doing nothing for seconds at a time. None of the characters except Helen and Clara really have any personality at all. Possibly one of the worst characters I've seen for a very long time is the pseudo-hippie-vampire-chief Will, also played by Damian Lewis. The character is not very well put together and Lewis's second rate acting abilities can't make anything of the character.

So we've got mostly poor actors, badly cast, with a poor script, and amateur videography and directing. Then we're told it's not just a horror, but also a comedy. I've just finished watching it and I honestly can't recall anything remotely funny happening during the entire show. It's almost amusing how bad the film is, maybe that's what they mean? Ultimately, there is no point to the film. There's no meaning for it. It's nothing more than a fly on the wall documentary of some boring middle class vampires going through their daily routines in a boring way. It really aws tedious to watch and when the end finally came and a long, meaningless speech had come to a close, I said "Finally, thank god that's finished." I give it a 2 and I think that's being generous.