Marry F*** Kill

That's 1 hour and 30 minutes I'll never get back.

I can only pity the director, who did her best with what she had to build on - that being a poorly written (and unfinished) synopsis. However, we've seen this genre of camp 'horror' SO many times that the ending could be turned into a game in itself: 'Which of 100 monkeys on typewriters can come up with ANYTHING to add an actual conclusion to this dire excuse for a movie?' Sorry, but no self-respecting B-movie fan would get a kick out of this. It's not even worth a spoiler ... They haven't put anything IN this to spoil.

Acting ... Great (except the stereotype-aunt).

Directing ... She did her best with what she had.

Effects ... (available from any joke shop).

To paraphrase the title ... ' Avoid, avoid, AVOID!

Seriously. Tubi, we need to talk. You need to stop with the whole "Tubi originals" thing. They're bad. Really bad. Laughably bad. Terror Train was an insult to the original, but it was better than this. This is what happens when a cheap as it gets production company makes a movie so bad Lifetime Movie Network doesn't want it. Noy one thing about this is adequate: the script is eyeroll inducingly poor, the acting is as wooden as the lumber section at Lowe's, and the director mails it in. Who could blame her, really? The first two acts are quite poor but the real craptactular is saved for act three, which features some of the mist hilariously inept makeup effects of all time. Avoid.

The lighting isn't bad, which is normally why I give such low ratings. In this case it's more like they had a bucket filled with penny actors that they grabbed a few out of, a hat full of tropes that they grabbed out a handfull from, a direct out of college director, and a dash of taking themselves too seriously. It's quality is on par with the fifth 'direct to VHS' in a franchise.

But, at the end of the day I wanted to watch a horror movie named * Marry Kill, and this was pretty close. Plus it got my wife to keep saying a name from Supernatural in a southern accent, so that was entertaining.

Funny - my name is Kosmas and I did a short movie called MFK - the K standing for my name, the other two letters ... well you can figure that out yourself I assume! That said, no pun intended. Also I'd like to believe that while the cinematography is way better here, I did an overall better job, when it comes to suspense and story and characters.

But let's leave that aside, if you like horror movies, low budget ones at that, you may find quite a few things you will like here. Acting is ok or decent, the story easy to follow. The twists interesting but predictable - especially towards the end. Will it be enough for you? That's up to you to decide ...

As I stumbled upon the 2023 TV horror movie, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. I do enjoy horror movies and have so for nearly 40 years. Sure, I had never heard about this TV movie from Tubi, nor do I necessarily think that what airs on Tubi is subpar contents.

Writers Ian Carpenter and Aaron Martin put together a fair enough script and storyline for the movie. It wasn't the most scary of stories, but it definitely was watchable for what it turned out to be.

The acting performances in the movie were adequate. I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble, but the actors and actresses carried the movie well enough with their performances.

Visually then this movie was actually adequate enough. It wasn't a movie that made a whole lot use of special effects, but whatever effects where present certainly were fair enough. So the movie is more of a narrative-driven horror movie than a jump scare driven one.

However, I have to say that for a long-time horror fan such as myself, then this 2023 TV movie was like a stroll in the park. The movie didn't come off as being overly scary, but it had the atmosphere working to its advantage.

Director Caroline Labrèche delivered a horror movie that proved to be adequate for a single viewing. There wasn't enough contents to the storyline or script to support multiple viewing though.

My rating of this 2023 TV movie lands on a five out of ten stars.