Dead in Tombstone

Danny Trejo is an acquired taste. Since being given cult status by the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, fearless Danny has now earned headliner status in movies built around him. Good for Danny, he's paid his dues. That being said, even the iconic presence of Mr. Trejo can't save this direct-to-DVD supernatural western. Trejo has maybe five states of being and facial expression in his acting repertoire. but only two are utilized by the director of this spooky oater. Danny looks grim. Danny looks grimmer. That's all folks. Still he tries, but he's just not cut out for leading man status.

A paper thin plot drags its story out for around 100 minutes here, filling the spaces between the actual story with repetitive gunfights, slow motion death, general mayhem, and an occasional visit to Hell, where the real-life horror show called Mickey Rourke pretends to be Satan (the character is referred to as "The Blacksmith" in the credits). Danny has been betrayed by his homies, the Blackwater Gang. His half brother Red (played by a nearly unrecognizable Anthony Michael Hall) murders him and Danny ends up in Hell. Tortured by Mickey Rourke (in a sleepwalking tour-de-force of acting as Satan), Danny strikes a bargain to win his soul back. Mickey wakes up long enough to accept this bargain using the worst dubbed-in voice for Rourke imaginable. Danny returns to life, and sets out to kill his homies in revenge. End of plot.

This could have been really interesting in the hands of a better director. Unfortunately, no one told the actual director Roel Reiné that he wasn't making a music video. This entire movie is shot in 2-6 second scenes, underlit and too dark to penetrate, too many flashy jumpcuts, etc. If you don't come out of a viewing of this without acquiring epilepsy, lucky you. The end resolution is poorly thought out. Still, the Romanian locations and costumes are worth a look here and earn the first two stars I give. Danny T. gets the other two for really giving his all...I think. Maybe Mickey Monster Rourke slipped Danny one or two of the sleeping pills he must have been gulping down during filming. An interesting/headache inducing flick for those with short attention spans.

To all the fans of this genre or the actors involved in the making of this film; I have this to say, "This one will hurt, and not in a funny way, don't do it to yourselves."

Do yourself a favor and miss this film. It tarnishes the good memories we have of these actors with its lackluster existence.

This films Tombstone should read;

"Killed by the epic mediocrity of Director Roel Reiné."

If you truly love watching Danny Trejo, no matter how bad the film he is in, or seeing Mickey Rourke deliver lines as if he was trying to understand a sign language interpreter; even if Anthony Michael Hall can do no wrong in your heart, this is not something you want to see.

It seriously damaged my respect for just about everyone involved in making it come to life.

I am a film editor, cinematographer and even worked as a Zombie stuntman. So, film, and especially cheesy low budget film is an area of expertise for me. I even have the honor of teaching a film class, "Aesthetics of Editing".

So if you got this far, at least you know now I am not just some film bashing wingnut; some jerk with no idea how film is made, why it is good, bad or meh.

Man, what happened to Rourke? After "The Wrestler," he had a second act career resurgence that appeared to be another great Hollywood comeback story. He had a string of high-profile blockbuster films -- "Expendables," "Iron Man 2" among them -- and a whole list of films on IMDb that were slated in pre-production, many with large casts and studios.

He swore in all his cover story interviews around the release of The Wrestler that he'd "learned his lesson" the hard way by bad-mouthing Hollywood in the '80s and '90s, and that he wouldn't allow his career to become ruined again, as he had resorted to straight-to-video flicks in the late '90s and early '00s when his career was in truly dire straits. (He claims a narrative that he was out of work entirely for a decade, but the truth is, he was just appearing in really crap films.)

But he didn't heed his own words of wisdom. Within a couple years, these things had happened: he publicly dissed The Expendables 2, claiming he wouldn't return unless they paid him more. He was never cast in the film, and the plot was re-written to involve a younger character in his place. After the worldwide success of EX2, which could have been another franchise for Rourke, a producer on the film was asked whether he'd be back for round three. "Maybe if he doesn't act so crazy," was the reply from the producer. As of September 29th, the third film is in production, and Rourke's name is absent from the cast.

He also publicly bad-mouthed writer/director Martin McDonaugh (In Bruges), claiming he wasn't being paid enough by the "creep" to star in the film Seven Psychopaths; he dropped out, and was replaced by Woody Harrelson. The film wasn't a big hit financially, but critics loved it, and it had a huge ensemble cast. Instead of starring in that film, he starred in a straight-to-video movie with Kellen Lutz...if you don't know who that guy is, it's because he was one of the shirtless vampires in Twilight.

Then he bad-mouthed Marvel Studios, claiming they butchered Iron Man 2. Not a huge deal since his character had no chance of coming back anyway, but it's more burnt bridges. He also annoyed the crap out of Robert Downey Jr on the set of the film (RDJ went out on a limb for him and fought to have him cast in the film after Rourke's pay demands were deemed too high by Marvel, btw); apparently his Method Acting routine was hugely obnoxious to cast and crew, as he demanded odd flourishes such as blaring Gnarls Barkley's song "Crazy" at full volume before filming every one of his scenes.

My point of this long-winded rant is that Mickey Rourke has essentially ruined what could have been a golden opportunity comeback to fulfill his early potential as one of the great actors of all time, and now he has resorted to starring in utter dreck like this film, which is an absolutely abysmal production and something that any actor should be embarrassed to list on their resume.

It's a standard revenge flick, set in a western atmosphere. It is poorly made (the low budget stands out at every turn), poorly acted (Anthony Michael Hall is the villain - enough said), and poorly shot (the lighting is atrocious at times). Danny Trejo has experienced some kind of grindhouse-type career revival thanks to Robert Rodriguez, but he's best buried as a minor character in ensemble films, and he does not have the charm or charisma to carry a full-length picture.

The only remotely interesting thing about this film? Rourke plays the devil incarnate. Which, if you've ever seen his 1987 psychological thriller "Angel Heart," is an interesting twist. Unfortunately this film isn't remotely similar to Angel Heart in any other regard, which was one of the best films of the 1980s in this humble critic's opinion; Dead in Tombstone, by contrast, is Dead On Arrival (har, har) and a truly bad film.

Rourke, you only have yourself to blame for this.

Oh Mickey, What a Pity, I just don't understand. Rourke plays second-fiddle to Danny Trejo is this average blend of horror and western revenge. He sleep-walks through his role as the devil, who gives Trejo's assassinated gunfighter a chance to return to Earth to avenge those who betrayed him (led by his half-brother Anthony Michael Hall). It's adequate, with plenty of gunfights that become a bit repetitive and suffer too many short cuts.

While it is nice to see Mickey Rourke in any role and Danny Trejo has become Legend (one way or another) with Machete, this movie is not really great. It does have some really good costumes though and the set design is good too (I can't imagine them having a lot of money to spend, so it must be from another set or shoot ... no pun intended).

Action scenes are OK, the story not complicated, it's more or less what you'd expect from a movie like this. Dina Meyer has not really that much to do and she is the female lead in this. The angle on the good versus bad thing is not that bad, because it's not really a good guy doing the work here. Though obviously it doesn't really make that much sense (the "Deal" that is). But you shouldn't start thinking with movies like these