Hooligans at War: North vs. South

All I wanted to say about this dreadful waste of time is that it is laughably bad, but apparently I need to use more words than that.

Everything about this film is terrible. The acting, directing, script, storyline, soundtrack. There is no tension, no depth in the characters or script and the fight scenes are like something off Magic Roundabout. Even after overlooking the historical inaccuracies of the scenes in Bosnia this is just one massive joke. And the joke was on me sitting right through it. Not one of the actors in this would get a decent part in a local am dram group.

Yes, it is low budget but that is no excuse, I've seen many decent films on a low budget This film just looks like it was a load of mates with a poor quality camera just playing about. An utter waste of time.

Oh come on, move on from the generic "Essex Gangster" films with to many overdone Essex accents and too many expletives! It's a mish-mash of totally incomprehensible scenes with all the jumping from black and white to colour. Some of the army scenes are done pretty badly (ex army speaking here)and although they got the kit right, it's so clearly filmed in the UK! I lost interest in the film thirty or so minutes in, too many character plots and the film follows the usual rubbish of someone telling us in narration format who the people are as we would never work it out. All these films try and copy Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels but it don't work due to the budget problems.

It was only £5 from the bargain bin....Now on an auction site for £2.00!

Right. Mr Stedmans excuse that this was 'low budget' is, like the film, absolute tripe. He must have been involved in making this embarrassing mess. My kid could make a cake out of mud and thinks its great, yet no one would enjoy it. A bit like this. Time will judge Smith and Bells appalling record.

The positive reviews are obviously from people connected with the film because all they do is whine about it being a low budget film. Low budget is true, and you will see that the Bosnia shots are filmed in the UK but that does not forgive truly awful acting and a pathetic script. The story makes no sense, the casting is daft made worse by a whole bunch of fat people pretending to be the British army in Bosnia. Christ, if that's what's defending us we might as well give up now. I was not expecting Private Ryan meets Goodfellows but at the same time was not expecting ting Corporal Clot meets the Bash Street Kids.

Essentially this is a gangster flick with a nicely incorporated military element. Okay so there may be a few discrepancies with dates of the Bosnian war and the ages of the recruits in the basic training scenes but HOLD ON........You need to appreciate the film for what it is and what Chris Bell and the team have achieved on a minuscule budget! The story of two friends as their lives envelop from the military to top London gangsters. This is a well worked back drop to a very gutsy, hard hitting, gritty and cool British film........

There is plenty of action for the boys as well as some nicely acted scenes showing the complexities and intricacies of everyday relationships within a gangster lifestyle which isn't an easy thing to pull off but the film handles it well.

There are times when the editing / cutting isn't brilliant but we are not talking a Hollywood blockbuster budget here!! There are some nice one-liners and plenty of likable characters which makes the film easily watchable and the documentary style camera shots encompass you into the films ethos really well.

The two main characters Chris and Johnny are played beautifully by Chris Bell and Alan Lund showing the various layers of vulnerability as well as the hard man element.

I take my hat off to what Chris Bell, Steven M Smith and the team have done with this film which includes a lovely and clever twist in the plot!

I for one will be watching this film many times over and because of the way it is filmed and it's slight discrepancies it could easily be catapulted into cult status in years to come! Not a term I would use lightly.

Anything these guys do in future I will certainly watch!!!!