My Name Was Bette: The Life and Death of an Alcoholic

As important as it was to hear about the devastating effects that alcoholism can have on a woman, especially a woman like Bette VandenAkker, the aspect missing was Al-Anon. Not once did any of the individuals interviewed in the film talk about how they coped with their loss of Bette. It is fine to reminisce about the deceased person but in order to truly recover a person must seed recovery for themselves. The fact that they did not mention this crucial step in a person's recovery from the effects of the terrible disease of of alcoholism showed how much more is needed to understand the effects of these disease and what is needed to really recover. I speak from personal experience as my father, aunt and uncle all died from effects of alcoholism and Al-Anon saved my life.

This film was not only informative, but brought feelings to the surface for me regarding my family's relationship with alcohol. The combination of statistics, medical facts, and diagrams along with pictures and stories of Bette through the different phases of her addiction were a great balance of fact and feeling. I still get emotional thinking about this movie weeks after viewing it. My thanks to Bette's family for their strength, honesty, and openness. I heard somewhere that the disease of alcoholism includes secrecy and shame. There is no secrecy and no shame in this documentary. Every subject is handled with tact and and person is allowed to be as they are, both in their strengths and weakness. If our society allowed for more support and less shame for addictions and mental illness, such as depression and anxiety, I believe that all of us could shed embarrassment and become stronger even though our weakness. This documentary is a step in that direction.

I chose to watch this documentary after it showed up in my Amazon Prime lists a few times.

Roughly 35 to 40% of this documentary was focused on what alcohol does to female bodies, in comparison to men. Although extremely important, I would have rather seen a little bit more emotion regarding the subject, rather than an anatomical recitation of alcohol's effects.

As a clinician who works on a daily basis with addicts struggling to stay in recovery, I found this film incredibly informative and moving. All of my clients have watched this film and it seems that they have learned a lot about alcoholism but also about the struggles that families endure while watching their addicted family member in the middle of their substance use.

For me personally this film hit me head first. My own mother is a sever alcoholic and as I watched this film it was if I was watching the decline of my own mother.

Thank you for sharing the story of your mother and the life she lived. Thank you for allowing yourself to feel that pain all over again and THANK YOU for allowing us, the viewers, be witness to your healing through the process. You are strong and so many can learn from you and this film.

At the conclusion of this powerful documentary chronicling her mother's life and alcoholism, filmmaker Sherri VandenAkker calls her an "accidental feminist." The film truthfully, even relentlessly, details the physical and mental toll drink took on the once beautiful Bette, an accomplished nurse who loved her work. Nevertheless, viewers are left with the portrait of a hard-working, courageous woman who succumbed to a disease rather than a pitiful, weak addict who chose indulgence over discipline. This dual vision--the struggling, lovable human being who became a recluse living in "an animal's den," as her daughter Krystyn White describes her mother's home--makes the film a lesson in both the dangers of alcoholism and the challenges women faced as workers, wives, and mothers in the late twentieth century.

VandenAkker provides solid evidence of how women's alcoholism differs from men's in devastating ways: why women are less likely to seek rehabilitation; the link between drinking and depression in women; and the greater stigma attached to alcoholic women. Throughout, she skillfully interposes folk art drawings by Parker Lanier, a recovering alcoholic whose pictures movingly illustrate the loneliness inherent in hopeless alcoholism and the spirituality and hope provided by Alcholics Anonymous's 12-step program. Bette never recovered, and VandenAkker does not shrink from the isolation and squalor of her mother's final years. Still, the determination and joy of her two daughters--both of whom speak with sorrow and love about their mother--and their belief that their mother's life had beauty and purpose despite its pain, will bring solace to those living with alcoholism and enlighten others about this family disease.

Highly recommended for academic and personal use.