Earthkiller

I watched this movie with no expectations and this lack of expectation was fully met by this movie which provided nothing of value. I would have given it zero stars but I could not go lower than one. The acting was not bad since it was nonexistent. The sets, well I skip them since the designer did. The story could have been told in five minutes by a gold plated android in an ewok village on a distant planet far, far away with more impact. The computer generated images (CGI) were bad - really bad. The only redeeming fact is they were short.

Who ever spent 1.5 million on this must have been looking for a tax write off.

And were did they skinny naked chick? Toxic Avenger please clean up this mess!

Robin Kurtz stars as Helen, a woman who wakes up naked in a space station orbiting Earth about being indisposed for the previous 200 years. Having no idea of who see is or what's happening, she spends the remaining movie time trying to get out of the ship while fighting other robots, humans as well as horribly CGI'd monsters.

I found this to be an amateurish mish-mash of a handful of sci-fi clichés that wears out its welcome rather quickly. It's no surprise to me in the least that the same person responsible for this travesty was also the one who 'graced' us with 'Battle New York: Day 2' Both of which are available on Streaming Netflix in case you're feeling especially masochistic .

Of the seven low-budget movies seen in the past six weeks(the previous six being Aliens vs Avatars, The Amazing Bulk, Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor, Captain Battle: Legacy War, Bonesetter and Star Quest: The Odyssey) Earthkiller, aka Total Retribution, was the best of them. It does have one redeeming quality which was that the idea was good, which the previous six did not have. That said, that is not saying very much because Earthkiller is still a terrible movie that doesn't do its concept any justice, one of those movies that starts off bad, not in a long time have I seen an opening scene this bizarre, and gets even worse as it wears on.

Earthkiller is very poorly made, almost like a failed student project, visually the best thing is the camera work, while it still often is dizzying there are glimpses of effort. Which is more than can be said for the lighting, which is at times too garish and others too dark(never appropriate), the cheap-looking sets which includes the most fake-looking space station you'll find anywhere in a movie and worst of all the truly appalling special effects, even the worst of SyFy and The Asylum have special effects as bad as here and they are on par with those of the aforementioned six movies. Earthkiller even incorporates blood and goes well overboard using it, even worse is that the blood doesn't even look like blood, instead looking like tomato ketchup that had been mixed with water.

The dialogue for Earthkiller is so awkward it'd be hard to stifle any laughter as well as cheese ridden, while the story is incredibly padded with nowhere near enough to sustain nearly an hour and a half and doesn't even try to make sense, there's nothing remotely clever or original about it with the movie ending on a confused note. The sound has a muddied distant quality where sometimes you have to strain for some of the dialogue and line delivery. The direction is flat, the characters are literally over-familiar walking clichés with no personality(they are actually annoying and the movie has the sense of forgetting to actually develop them) and the acting is practically non-existent. To conclude, a complete turkey despite having a good idea, a shame. 2/10 Bethany Cox

so this film starts off with a naked woman, wow right? everything going for a man is happy EXCEPT she's flat and whiter than the whitest Irish. Boom, happy moment gone. And what else, for the opening part of the film, nothing makes sense, literally, nothing does. Is this a Sci-Fi or what??? Nope this film is a piece of trash rubbish that was pooped out of a stupid D-graded writer who couldn't be arse to use his intelligence. Seriously, worst opening ever, didn't even bother watching after 20 minutes because nothing made any sense. Save yourself from this film, there are films that are rated lower than this film but makes absolutely more sense, save yourself and don't dare watch it, even if you're drunk - Just don't.

A quick way to make up your mind, is to go to YouTube and watch a trailer.

Do it.

Yes, it's that bad. The CGI is horrible, acting is horrible with the exception of David Ian Lee, who however is completely miscast as a 'colonel', giving of a strong out-of-place Jim Carrey vibe. The rest of the actors look like people they found in the local diner. I've seen better acting in porn. Editing and sounds are horrible, props are horrible, there is no immersion. I cringed in shame when the makers proudly (over)portrayed their names in the credits, I would pay dear money to have my name removed from this project. Probably the most forgettable movie I watched.