Earthkiller

so this film starts off with a naked woman, wow right? everything going for a man is happy EXCEPT she's flat and whiter than the whitest Irish. Boom, happy moment gone. And what else, for the opening part of the film, nothing makes sense, literally, nothing does. Is this a Sci-Fi or what??? Nope this film is a piece of trash rubbish that was pooped out of a stupid D-graded writer who couldn't be arse to use his intelligence. Seriously, worst opening ever, didn't even bother watching after 20 minutes because nothing made any sense. Save yourself from this film, there are films that are rated lower than this film but makes absolutely more sense, save yourself and don't dare watch it, even if you're drunk - Just don't.

Of the seven low-budget movies seen in the past six weeks(the previous six being Aliens vs Avatars, The Amazing Bulk, Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor, Captain Battle: Legacy War, Bonesetter and Star Quest: The Odyssey) Earthkiller, aka Total Retribution, was the best of them. It does have one redeeming quality which was that the idea was good, which the previous six did not have. That said, that is not saying very much because Earthkiller is still a terrible movie that doesn't do its concept any justice, one of those movies that starts off bad, not in a long time have I seen an opening scene this bizarre, and gets even worse as it wears on.

Earthkiller is very poorly made, almost like a failed student project, visually the best thing is the camera work, while it still often is dizzying there are glimpses of effort. Which is more than can be said for the lighting, which is at times too garish and others too dark(never appropriate), the cheap-looking sets which includes the most fake-looking space station you'll find anywhere in a movie and worst of all the truly appalling special effects, even the worst of SyFy and The Asylum have special effects as bad as here and they are on par with those of the aforementioned six movies. Earthkiller even incorporates blood and goes well overboard using it, even worse is that the blood doesn't even look like blood, instead looking like tomato ketchup that had been mixed with water.

The dialogue for Earthkiller is so awkward it'd be hard to stifle any laughter as well as cheese ridden, while the story is incredibly padded with nowhere near enough to sustain nearly an hour and a half and doesn't even try to make sense, there's nothing remotely clever or original about it with the movie ending on a confused note. The sound has a muddied distant quality where sometimes you have to strain for some of the dialogue and line delivery. The direction is flat, the characters are literally over-familiar walking clichés with no personality(they are actually annoying and the movie has the sense of forgetting to actually develop them) and the acting is practically non-existent. To conclude, a complete turkey despite having a good idea, a shame. 2/10 Bethany Cox

All I can say is ugh. This is an ugly movie visually -- bad lighting, bad script, bad acting, cheap sets and BEYOND bad special effects (both in practical and CGI category). The plot is non-existent so I won't even bother critiquing that. If the film has any value at all it would be to give the viewer the actual feel of watching a 70's sci-fi TV show like Dr. Who that had a minimal budget for sets and had painfully bad hand-made props made of spare plumbing and electrical parts. Te acting gives some camp value, except that the film takes itself dead-seriously. But even for that I doubt most people could tolerate sitting through 85 minutes of this turkey. I do not recommend.

Robin Kurtz stars as Helen, a woman who wakes up naked in a space station orbiting Earth about being indisposed for the previous 200 years. Having no idea of who see is or what's happening, she spends the remaining movie time trying to get out of the ship while fighting other robots, humans as well as horribly CGI'd monsters.

I found this to be an amateurish mish-mash of a handful of sci-fi clichés that wears out its welcome rather quickly. It's no surprise to me in the least that the same person responsible for this travesty was also the one who 'graced' us with 'Battle New York: Day 2' Both of which are available on Streaming Netflix in case you're feeling especially masochistic .

Earthkiller is one of those movies where afterwards you have two questions. The first is "What is it" and the second is "why did I bother watching it?" It was bad. The sets were fake and the acting and script was far worse. The CGI looked like a video game and the non-CGI effects were far worse. Usually you want a movie like this to stop tossing so much ketchup around. This one didn't have the money in their budget to use real ketchup.

So, enough about other such pleasantries. Let's cut to the sex. Well, there wasn't any. We had one character walk around naked for a while. She was kind of cellulite looking but hey, good enough. We only got one fur shot and that was before she put on clothes. From there, the whole movie went down hill tremendously.

This must be an extreme cheapie Indie movie. As such I don't expect too much. I've seen a lot worse in these so I won't complain any more. I do hope the producers make their money back and use any profits for some film school classes. They need them, bad.