Earthkiller

so this film starts off with a naked woman, wow right? everything going for a man is happy EXCEPT she's flat and whiter than the whitest Irish. Boom, happy moment gone. And what else, for the opening part of the film, nothing makes sense, literally, nothing does. Is this a Sci-Fi or what??? Nope this film is a piece of trash rubbish that was pooped out of a stupid D-graded writer who couldn't be arse to use his intelligence. Seriously, worst opening ever, didn't even bother watching after 20 minutes because nothing made any sense. Save yourself from this film, there are films that are rated lower than this film but makes absolutely more sense, save yourself and don't dare watch it, even if you're drunk - Just don't.

Earthkiller is one of those movies where afterwards you have two questions. The first is "What is it" and the second is "why did I bother watching it?" It was bad. The sets were fake and the acting and script was far worse. The CGI looked like a video game and the non-CGI effects were far worse. Usually you want a movie like this to stop tossing so much ketchup around. This one didn't have the money in their budget to use real ketchup.

So, enough about other such pleasantries. Let's cut to the sex. Well, there wasn't any. We had one character walk around naked for a while. She was kind of cellulite looking but hey, good enough. We only got one fur shot and that was before she put on clothes. From there, the whole movie went down hill tremendously.

This must be an extreme cheapie Indie movie. As such I don't expect too much. I've seen a lot worse in these so I won't complain any more. I do hope the producers make their money back and use any profits for some film school classes. They need them, bad.

A quick way to make up your mind, is to go to YouTube and watch a trailer.

Do it.

Yes, it's that bad. The CGI is horrible, acting is horrible with the exception of David Ian Lee, who however is completely miscast as a 'colonel', giving of a strong out-of-place Jim Carrey vibe. The rest of the actors look like people they found in the local diner. I've seen better acting in porn. Editing and sounds are horrible, props are horrible, there is no immersion. I cringed in shame when the makers proudly (over)portrayed their names in the credits, I would pay dear money to have my name removed from this project. Probably the most forgettable movie I watched.

All I can say is ugh. This is an ugly movie visually -- bad lighting, bad script, bad acting, cheap sets and BEYOND bad special effects (both in practical and CGI category). The plot is non-existent so I won't even bother critiquing that. If the film has any value at all it would be to give the viewer the actual feel of watching a 70's sci-fi TV show like Dr. Who that had a minimal budget for sets and had painfully bad hand-made props made of spare plumbing and electrical parts. Te acting gives some camp value, except that the film takes itself dead-seriously. But even for that I doubt most people could tolerate sitting through 85 minutes of this turkey. I do not recommend.

I watched this movie with no expectations and this lack of expectation was fully met by this movie which provided nothing of value. I would have given it zero stars but I could not go lower than one. The acting was not bad since it was nonexistent. The sets, well I skip them since the designer did. The story could have been told in five minutes by a gold plated android in an ewok village on a distant planet far, far away with more impact. The computer generated images (CGI) were bad - really bad. The only redeeming fact is they were short.

Who ever spent 1.5 million on this must have been looking for a tax write off.

And were did they skinny naked chick? Toxic Avenger please clean up this mess!