The Caretaker

On and on this film went, long past the point where I cared about it, until a sort of numbness crept in, where you really start to notice the world around you in your front room. Like: When was the last I hoovered the floor, or that wonky picture needs to be straightened. In the end, I just fidgeted around on my phone, as the lifeless (no pun intended there) characters met their respective fates and the ordeal was over. If the fact that I had more than one eye off the screen during the last 40 minutes means you ignore my review, then so help me... I don't give a hoot.

It's just a badly written, wretchedly edited, poorly acted piece of... dung which is NEVER scary, about from the implied idea that it was worth releasing in this condition. There is not one aspect of it which is worthwhile, and the only reason I haven't scored it less is when I compare it to some of the VERY worst horror movies I've seen, it's not QUITE as horrendous as that. This is hardly a recommendation, though. Steer well clear. 2/10

An interesting story but badly scripted. Extremely unlikable characters. Confusing dialogue and actions.

The idea if a vampire virus isnt massively original (Stakeland etc) but the idea of caretakers looking out for each other was ok. Just not very well written. The Dr Vampire kept spouting pointless dialogue trying to sound deep and profound but ended up feeling forced and amusing. The girlfriend and boyfriend arguing constantly was beyond irritating. I just didnt care and it added nothing to the story. Daft.

No gore or FX to speak of. Cheap cgi face smoking in sun and rubber limbs.

Then last but certainly not least there is the music. Oh my god the music!! Ha ha. The music was so loud and inappropriately placed. Poorly mixed and amateur. Struggled to hear the actors over it and repeated itself over scenes where it was unnecessary. So distracting.

Avoid. Really no redeeming or watchable parts. I just wanted it to be over.

While there is no denying that Vampires play a central role in this movie, I would challenge its pigeonholing as a genre film. Underneath the gore and fangs and horror is a simple story about humanity and survival. Each of the characters is unlikeable yet fragile, likable yet horrifying, showing us the complexity of human nature and human relationships. The actors and filmmakers did a wonderful job of bringing these characters to life and imbuing them with a sense of reality, as opposed to the sometimes stereotypical caricatures that often find their way into these type of films. On top of that the filmic style and colour palette used by the filmmakers gives the film a beautiful, rich visual feel.

One of my favourite Australian films to date, I hope it gets the recognition it deserves!

I have to admit that I was intrigued by the premise of this movie. Instead of having unrealistic characters, there is a random and quirky mix, and people don't become overnight heroes. The acting quality was decent without having anyone being a caricature. It moves a bit slower than the average vampire flick, because it's not an average vampire flick. So, for those expecting action-packed gore and lots of cool special effects, you may be disappointed. This movie visually catches the general feeling of forlorn hope; what would you do to survive, and when does it become too much to live with? it is beautiful yet desolate. It's not a perfect movie, but much better than I expected.

The piano soundtrack at certain points in the movie was absolutely haunting. I'm obsessed with figuring out how to play it now.

Some say "die trying", though that would be difficult if you're undead. Seriously though, this movie cannot be faulted for any lack on effort. It does try and for some (especially those with a soft spot for low budget movies), it is even able to achieve that goal. Not that anyone could mistake this for a classic mind you.

It still tries to imitate a couple of things that were very successful (like Blade to name but one movie this "borrowed" themes from). It has some blood and the acting is not as bad as one would/could expect. The story though is pretty simple and more than predictable. Still Kudos for trying to make a drama out of it and especially for the effort