Robo Vampire

The hopping demons are a theme in Chinese martial arts films. Usually, they are far more coordinated and move in gangs. These demons/vampies apparently did not read the manual. The film is a mess. There are fourteen plots which never really make sense. The characters are from the mustache twirling school of villainy. Even more puzzling are the credits. The cast seems to have western names but the main characters are Asian. The names were changed to protect the incompetent? Someone somewhere was desperate for a tax write off which is probably why this film was made. I'm giving this Rifftrax version a heap of stars because the snark and the jokes justify the existence of this film. Do not watch this film with out the Riffers.

This is another one of my favorites from "RiffTrax" and it's another dozy as this is on a "Robocop" rip off. There have been a lot of rips on my main man Robo but this is probably the strangest of all because much like faulty programing this film doesn't make a lick of sense.

The plotline is practically all over the place as you have drug, jumping zombies/vampires, wizards, ghosts, robots, action, all this you would think would make a fascinating and tasty smoothie blend but nope it's just a plain oversaturated, non-cohesive mess.

Of course, we have the Robo Vampire, which is strange as he's not a vampire as he doesn't do anything vampire. Basically, this guy is your discount store Robocop, or you can even say Mandalorian. The costume design is obviously extremely cheap as you can see the armor is clearly a silver winter coat and some sports equipment wear. The guy's movements aren't even that good as there's no fluidity in the movements, he's just simply moving slow and pausing which happens a lot.

Though the strangest thing in the film is despite the title character, he's hardly in the film that much. Sometimes the film jumps to some other characters which I think is supposed to be the subplot, but it looks and feels more like another movie which it probably is.

There are plenty more bugs in the programing but let's just get down to business; the riff crew is just at their best in this episode as there are plenty of memorable riffs and moments. Really like some of the riffs in certain action sequences like in one scene where one of the jumping zombies who has a gorilla mask on (not kidding) and has its arms out shooting sparks, which do no good, but the guy does it repeatedly. I remember thinking "um, it didn't work the first time" and of course Bill riffs about this and it's funny because it's true, almost like the choreographer ran out of ideas.

Another is just hearing Bill wondering where the hell the Robo Vampire is in the film, yeah even I was wondering the same thing as if the film forgot its own title and who the lead hero is. And of course, there are good riffs in the action sequences from one where one of the jumping zombies shoots out bottle rockets from its arms and misses each time despite the Robo Vampire an easy target even a novice at the video game "Virtual Cop" can hit. But also, some kung fu battle between a ghost and jumping zombie, Kevin says one of my favorite riffs "High Fiving to death." Yeah, that battle along with a lot of other supernatural battles doesn't make this film, "A Chinese Ghost Story", which is obviously ten times better than this whole film.

The film and robot may 'be cheap, but you get your times worth in hilarity.

Rating: 4 stars.