Noise

I wasn't going to review, but then I saw all these people raving about it and realized....if real people don't leave honest reviews, movies like this end up with inflated scores that make no sense.

This movie is a hot mess.

It attempts to carry off two parallel plots but it doesn't, really, do justice to either. The "twist" isn't actually a twist so much as a bait and switch kind of thing, where you're led to believe the big mystery is the main plot, and then toward the end you realize it was merely a device to illustrate the main characters deteriorating mental health. And, you also discover, the actual plot is something that's only been hinted at (main characters relationship with his father), which they're going to withhold a key detail on until the end.... I guess as some sort of weak explanation for the ninety minutes of SCREECHING crying baby and shenanigans you've endured.

Maybe it would have benefitted from some flashbacks, IDK. At the end of the day, it didn't do enough to make me care about any of the people involved....and it definitely didn't make me care enough that I wanted to do the work to figure out two thinly stretched together plots.

But, I mean, at least Ward Kerremans is fun to look at.

As "Noise" (2023 release from Belgium; 90 min.) opens, we are introduced to Matthias and Liv, a young couple with a newborn son. They are moving into the house where Matthias gre up with his dad. His dad is now in a seniors center. Matthias is having a hard time coping with the baby waking him up every night. Then one day, Matthias finds out that his dad was the CEO of a nearby chemical plant, which now stands abandoned. Why? At this point we are 10 min. Into the movie.

Couple of comments: this is a full-ledged production from Flanders, Belgium (the Dutch-speaking side of Belgium). I hail from Flanders, Belgium myself, and when I saw this in the newly added titles of Netflix, I just had to watch it. Alas, this is not a great movie. For that, the story line is simply too thin and scattered. This is not a "mystery" or a "thriller" or even a "psychological drama". It's a hodge-podge of lots of genres but in the end can't decide what it really wants to be. The most interesting thing about the movie is the sound construction, piecing together all kinds of irritating noises, none more so than the baby cries, again and again, and again, but also things like the car wash sounds, a fruit blender, etc. We get the point: Matthias is overwhelmed by noises. The cast features Sallie Harmsen as Liv (she also starred in "Blade Runner 2049").

"Noise" started streaming on Netflix just this weekend. Unless you are from Flanders, Belgium and are simply curious as to what a Flemish movie can do, I don't know that I can recommend this film in good conscience to anyone. Of course don't take my word for it, so check it out and draw your own conclusion.

Super boring and pointless, as most reviewers noted. I can believe that some people liked the movie - different strokes and all that - but I cannot believe that all the 10-, 9- , and 8-star reviews posted around the same time are legit. I absolutely HATE it when people are enlisted to goose the ratings of terrible films. Why not just make a better film and not subject people to yours if it sucks? (sigh)

With 30 minutes remaining of "Noise," I realized there still wasn't a single point of action or suspense. The rude reactions of people in the village when the wife came around was interesting, but then the matter was just kinda dropped. And then, for some inexplicable reason, the wife got all angry at the shopkeeper - the only person who was at all welcoming.

There were a few "spooky" sight gags, but none of them figured into a larger story. I could give specifics, but don't want to risk people not reading my review due to spoilers and making the mistake of tuning into this turkey.

Oh, and that baby cried all the time. He'd drive me nuts, too. That baby sucked.

I keep wondering about the rationale behind Netflix producing films with such weak screenplays. The little intrigue that the film offers quickly evaporates once the second act comes on, and the hallucinatory visions the protagonist (Ward Kerremans) keeps having, lack purpose. The protagonist's wife (Sallie Harmsen) takes the perspective of the audience, trying to make sense of it all - hers is the only performance that I took fair notice of, in this mess. The mystery (or the lack of) is so terribly sketched that I felt it had nothing to achieve, even though the protagonist keeps making such a big, nonsensical fuss. The makers also add a couple of pointless jumpscares. In the end, it just feels like you wholly wasted 90-odd minutes.

Even watching it at 1.5x speed and skipping 10 seconds every time the movie is boring and draggy. The supposed mystery is ridiculous, the protagonist is a terrible actor and there are a series of scenes of people in the city being hostile that make no sense and are not even explained. One of the worst scripts I've seen in a while, if there ever was a script. I assume that maybe there were more scenes but the movie got so much more boring that they must have cut it because there's a lot of nonsense. All in all, one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Don't waste your time, watch any 1959 Twilight Zone episode that in 25 minutes has more emotion and mystery than this movie pastiche.