Stranger

I'm giving this one star despite the decent production values because the rest is just that bad. You'll spend most of the movie watching two bad actors work through fascinating dialogue like, "One egg or two." If that's not thrilling enough, the actress does quite a lot of posing, occasionally on yoga mats, and occasionally in front of mirrors. Occasionally, a creepy person will turn up, giving the actress an opportunity to cry. Then it will all end without any explanation whatsoever. It's like watching paint dry, only more irritating. A C movie would probably be more entertaining, so don't bother.

The actors are so bad in this movie that they can't even convincingly act everyday activities such as cooking or brushing their teeth. It's like they don't really want to be in the film. It's embarrassing.

It's really utterly pointless and awkward to watch. There's no story, no emotional engagement and no point at all to any of it.

There is a baddie that is presented towards the end of the film, and introduces some more pointless activities which does give our actors an opportunity to demonstrate they acting range.

I can't quite understand how such a movie would ever get made, perhaps as an example to be used in movie school on how not to act, write and direct.

You are about to go on a wild ride.

A ride consisting of some of the most wooden acting you will ever witness.

A ride that will reveal one of the worst directors of all time.

A ride with a script so bad, it had to be written spontaneously by a monkey with a typewriter.

This movie is about nothing. It's yet another vapid blended couple in a cabin who do what people in a cabin do. They drink. They smoke weed (although the woman has no clue how to toke) they discus the number of eggs to cook. And they do it for an hour and 18 minutes.

There are also ancillary characters who have nothing to do with forwarding the plot.

And then there's the protagonist. The movie's almost done by the time he's inttroduced.

How did this movie get made?

Oh my god, the script is unbelievably terrible. First off, the plot. I couldn't believe how this was produced, or who would think of sinking money into this moronic, flimsy film. In no way was this film suspenseful and halfway through the film I wanted the main characters to die. Anyone making the film could have added a little bit of humour, but instead tried to develop the characters of the couple, which was executed poorly. The acting was dismal, if anyone thought of hiring any four of the cast just watch this film and reassess your foggy decision.

What made me laugh more than anything was the stranger. He just shows up and can barely speak English. The viewer doesn't have any idea why he's there or stalking the couple... he just shows up out of the blue and starts saying "take a sit" "chop chop". I thought to myself, did Tommy have anything to do with this movie? Is this film a way to launder money?

Regardless, I feel slightly dumber for watching this. I think eating a pile of lead chips would have been a better choice.

Oh child, whoever wrote this film should not call themselves a screenwriter. Unclear how this movie even got made. The dialogue is so painfully bad. If they thanked each other one more time or talked about the ding dang pasta they were making one more time - terrible. The acting is actually not bad, considering what they had to work with, but truly - so much of the dialogue was unnecessary and just plain bad.

When the dude smoked a joint in the movie, I only wished he could have passed it through the television set because it could have made the film a little more tolerable.

Truly, the worst dialogue in any film of all-time.

Just no.