Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

Before watching I was waiting some boring Scary Movie-kinda thing (actually the first one was pretty funny)... Then I got interested.

Movie is full of funny slasher etc. moments and acting was just great. Simple idea and all but it was put together very well.

Got many laughs and all, movie somehow went totally on its own way. Glad too see that.

And that dope thing was well done not really like in many movies here it was really funny.

The main idea of this simple movie was very good and everything.

Sadly I didn't like the end it was very very Not a surprise.

But overall in mainstream case i'd give this 6.5/10 funny and not too teenager movie at all, just funny. Not waste of time if you like this genre.

Save for some of the names to appear in the cast - Lara Flynn Boyle! Cary Elwes! Yancy Butler! - the premise doesn't inspire confidence that we're going to get any surprises. The classic tale of Hansel and Gretel is reimagined for the modern stoner generation, and with that conceit in mind, at the very start the film pointedly spotlights paraphernalia, active use, cannabis culture, and pot puns and weed humor. The cast are invited to lean into the spirit of hazy highs with loopy lines and acting, and the writing at times emphasizes these aspects to an absurd degree; not since 'Dude, where's my car?' has the word "dude" been employed so effusively in a script. Mind, there are plenty otherwise juvenile, boorish inclusions in the dialogue and scene writing, too. Any viewer who isn't themselves a marijuana enthusiast, or who doesn't care for depictions in media of such indulgence, is in for a rough ride from the get-go.

It's not a very promising beginning. Yet things quickly go a different route, and I must give credit where it's due: 'Hansel & Gretel get baked' is genuinely far more well made than I would have expected. True, those expectations weren't very much; I anticipated a horror-comedy for stoners that would probably fail to particularly deliver on any of those accounts. So I'm surprised that the blood and gore actually look really great, and earnest care was put into the visual effects. The production design, art direction, and cinematography are honestly fantastic. In fact, while marijuana kicks off the feature and is the central notion underlying the plot, the horror facet is arguably the strongest here, as it's only a very light and unbothered sense of levity that flavors the writing instead of defining it. Moreover, instead of just being a stoner comedy take on a revered fairy tale, there's sincere effort put into updating the narrative. There's some real intelligence on hand; for one example, observe the scene about one-third in that doesn't bat an eye in giving a portrait in miniature of the absurdity and cruelty of the "War on Drugs." We see the declination of law enforcement to do their jobs when the possible victim has a record even for mere possession; the way drug laws turn every innocent into a suspect, a tool of the police state, or both; the flailing incompetence and inability to really do much of anything in most instances, least of all when someone may be at risk. In a scant few minutes 'Get baked' quietly informs that for as much as the genre element is highlighted, and for any tomfoolery, the work put into this was no joke.

I suppose all this means that moviegoers who actually want the stereotypical stoner comedy are going to be disappointed, because that's not what this title is about. I, however, am delighted, because that niche genre isn't one I much care for myself. The movie we get instead takes our assumptions and throws them out, and is all the better for it. Apart from dashes of overdone pothead humor there's some meaningful wit in the screenplay, and the narrative is solid. Every scene along the way is written and executed well. The original score lends definite atmosphere, alongside smart use of lighting and environmental effects, and Duane Journey's direction is really quite good. The horror styling also extends beyond only the witch that we meet in the tale of the Brothers Grimm, and the labor put into realizing each component is admirable. 'Get baked' shows off excellent hair and makeup work, and superb props and set pieces, to feed into the more gnarly ideas herein. On top of all this, while to some degree limited by the nature of the material, the cast give capable performances that tell me it would be worth watching some of their other movies. Above all others, Boyle is terrific as the witch, Agnes, turning in a show of acting that's laced with cheeky range and nuance befitting a devilishly clever, confident, and powerful villain. She's clearly having fun with her part, and it's a joy to see.

None of this is to say that 'Hansel & Gretel get baked' is perfect. Details aside, one may well say this is a very common horror thriller, and I can't argue with that. Some instances of plot development are a hair contrived, Movie Magic that assembles the story Just So such that the picture can be completed on time and within budget. Given the tone the feature otherwise takes, the early heavy accentuation of the glazed-eyes stoner element ultimately feels out of place, becoming distasteful for the fact of it. And for as sturdy as the horror-oriented adaptation is, and increasingly so as the length progresses, something nonetheless feels indescribably off about the course of events here, as though it's both too easy and somehow incomplete. I don't think these shortcomings are so severe as to majorly dampen the entertainment, but all the same I'm left feeling that I want to like it more than I do.

Yet maybe this is all nitpicking. The movie twists around the premise to focus its core in a different direction, but even at that, when all is said and done 'Get baked' delivers exactly what it intends - only with its ingredients in an unanticipated arrangement. In every way this exceeds my best guesses at how it could have turned out, with fabulous work contributed from those behind the scenes, adept writing, and able acting and direction. It's nothing so extraordinary that any would-be viewer needs to go out of their way to see it, and just as much to the point, the audience for this is likely even smaller than the filmmakers presumed, given the elements stirred together and the proportions thereof. All I can say is that I sat to watch on a whim, by no means getting my hopes up, and well before the climax I was astonished and pleased by what I found instead. 'Hansel & Gretel get baked' will appeal to relatively few, but if you're receptive to the idea and open-minded for whatever may come your way, this is a peculiarly sharp slice of horror cinema that's worth checking out!

A witch (Lara Flynn Boyle) is living in a mansion in Pasadena, California, making potent marijuana in her basement and preying on the local stoners. Molly Quinn & Michael Welch play the titular siblings who investigate, along with a Latina friend (Bianca Saad).

"Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" (2013) is an amusingly horrific take on the German fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm, envisioning events in the modern day with the witch preying on potheads. Witch-themed films were trendy at the time and this flick took advantage of the contemporaneous big budget "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" (2013), as did a few other mockbusters: "Witchslayer Gretl" (2012), The Asylum's "Hansel & Gretel" (2013) and Lionsgate's "Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft" (2013).

While it's not in the same league as the kick-axx "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," it's amusing enough in its one-dimensional scope. Ultra-cute Molly is a highlight and worth the price of admission while Flynn Boyle hams it up as the perversely ee-vil sorceress. There's a nice balance of amusement and horror.

The film runs 1 hour, 26 minutes and was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: B-

I am impressed that I made it through the entire movie. The sad part is that I think want kept me watching was Lara Flynn Boyle's face. I can't figure out if she got some kind of illness or if she just went crazy with the plastic surgery, but either way, its sad and hard to stop staring. Back to the crapfest of a movie, about an old lady who lures teenagers to her house by selling them weed and then of course, she kills and eats them to regain her youth. This movie was a total snooze fest. I thought it was going to be funny, it wasn't. I also thought it might be a little scary, not even a little. Definitely pass on this on unless you're curious to see Lara's new face.

I saw a poster of this movie in a mall: there was a gingerbread man smoking a blunt, and I thought it was cute and funny. I decided to give this movie a chance.

During the first ten minutes, the movie seems the typical horror-oriented (well, this is what it aims for; it obviously misses its point) comedy written by a pair of pubescent 13-year old boys. You know, boobs, weed, bad jokes and even worse music. But no, oh no, it gets much worse. The plot is dull, the acting is awful, the characters are the stereotypical boneheads you find in each and every bad horror movie: the hot blonde, the ghetto girl, the stupid hunk and the smart geek. Wow. Brilliant.

I can't even begin to describe how awful this movie is. Maybe that's what the producers wanted? Making a parody of an actual film?

If, as I previously stated, you're a 13 year old boy who likes weed, energy drinks, bad jokes and centerfolds, congrats: you can survive watching this movie. To everyone else, there are many better things you can do to fill this hour and a half. Take a walk, bake a pie, I don't know. Don't waste your time on this!