The Cloth

First, they used cheap film stock always slightly out of focus, no one has the top of their head in most of the shots. My grandmother used to take photos like that, no foreheads!!!! The special effects were really quite funny, not intentionally of course. No wonder it went direct to video. Eric Roberts must be on muscle relaxers as his performance is dull and lethargic, and Danny Trejo is basically a cameo. The other actors in the film are uninspiring and really need acting lessons. The film is dark and brooding, but then, so is my cat. About halfway through the film, I noticed that staring at my cat was way more scary. Maybe she is possessed!!!! Maybe I am, while writing this review! I know this film is possessed --- of no good qualities!

Peace out, Jen

I'm not sure where to begin, this is B Grade with extra B. The acting is probably the worst part but the cinematography and writing must take some of the fault. This is a lot like a high school drama production where the IT guys got roped in to provide some special effects. It's similar in theme to movies such as Constantine but as interpreted by someone who only had a couple of thousand dollars to make it and blew most of that on Danny Trejo rather than production values. Even if you like B grade schlock (which I don't) this one may be too painful to live through. I went through to the end in the vain hope there was some redemption for this but there was not. An over-long cheesy knock off of The Exorcist to open and a sputtering finish that looks like they ran out of money. Nothing worth waking up for.

This had to been the worst movie ever. The acting is just horrible. The characters show absolutely no inflection/emotion in their voices. The special effects(well, if you call it that) were just pathetic. My cousin's 11 year old son who makes movies has better quality sound effect programs on his computer than this movie! The story line wasn't even that good. The movie was not meant to be funny, but for some reason, I laughed the entire time, especially at the producer's attempt to make believable demon voices. And I think the most ridiculous thing about the movie was the Jesus uniform that the main character wore. I don't think the cross emblem(or anything that signifies Jesus) belongs on people who run around with weapons blowing heads off of demons. That's an hour and half that you'll never get back, so don't waste your time.

I have been an active member on IMDb for more than 6 years now and have never had given a movie a 1 rating. Until now. This movie does not have one feature I could praise. The acting is worse than mediocre (though to be honest I must say I watched it dubbed which could worsen the already bad situation), the story is uninteresting or I dare to say nonsense. There is not a single scene or performance I was able to enjoy. As for the music, it was so unimpressive I can't even remember any part of it that I liked. The conversations are dull and boring. I couldn't have cared less about what is going to happen to these characters: it didn't matter if they get killed or possessed or live happily ever after; the only thing I was concerned about was when this pitiful excuse for a movie is going to end.

At the end of my reviews, I like to give a recommendation as to whom I recommend and whom I don't recommend the movie in question. Well this one, I don't recommend to anyone. Not even my worst enemy...

I watched this because Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts are in it. It's not like these two are master thespians or anything, but I find them likable enough, even in B movies. ("B" as in "low Budget" or just plain "Bad".) Trejo and Roberts have small parts, with screen time probably totaling less than 10 minutes between them. Eric Roberts seems to be sleepwalking, stoned, or both. The rest of the cast are unrelentingly horrible, either chewing the scenery or mumbling like blocks of wood blessed with the gift of speech.

The dialog is stilted, juvenile, and lacks both wit and sense. The plot, involving a secret society of exorcists battling demons, is inane and vacuous. This idea has been done before a few times: Constantine 2005, Hellboy 2004, The Ninth Gate 1999, for example. All of these, although there is not a masterpiece among them, are infinitely better than this poor offering.

The special effects are incredibly bad, something that is pretty hard to achieve with today's cheap computer graphic technology. It is often impossible to tell what is supposed to be going on with all the random flashes of colored light and moving shots of geological formations. The camera work is amazingly unskillful. In one of Eric Roberts' few scenes, he's talking to a priest whose head is out of frame at eye level.

I wish there were something positive I could say about The Cloth. Oh... there is something; it put my wife, who has been suffering from insomnia recently, to sleep.