Emerald Lagoon

The word sh++show doesn't come close to summing this one up. Disjointed, sloppy editing, terrible dialogue...

The sheriff (wearing a "Dumb and Dumber" winter hat) drives around in a golf cart - with full siren sounds, but I couldn't see the lights...The lazy drunk slob of an ex reappears for his daughter - the one that the mum keeps referring to as a "mistake"; and some girl is stuck in the mud for the entire movie.

The "monster" is very rarely seen but when it does appear it looks more like a houseplant that a killer swamp creature. The Caribbean music makes no sense at all, nore does the pick up truck with the reversing alarm.

I feel so much dumber for watching this...

In EMERALD LAGOON a swamp monster (aka: a person covered in tar, who rolled through a greenhouse) attacks and kills unwary victims.

Taking the total lack of any budget into consideration, there are some nice shots of kayaking and scuba diving. That said, the rest is a complete shambles.

Filmed in the Eveglades, and packed with ultra-annoying, non-acting characters, there's really nothing to hope for other than that the monster will kill everyone involved.

Hope denied.

There's a rotund hillbilly who is also an irresistible babe magnet, and a woman stuck in the mud. An elderly hiker is nearly terrorized at one point. The creature attempts to begin to cause mild mayhem. The hillbilly goes back to his wife, and mud-woman screams.

Meanwhile, the monster is glimpsed floating around in the swamp, probably praying for death.

By the time the golf cart-riding sheriff arrives, we're all ready to die!

Watching this movie is like being stuck in the mud with mud-woman, it's irritating, and ultimately deadening...