New Kids Nitro

Well sort of new tricks. The whole (simple) story is being held together by some bookend gimmick in a cinema with people watching the new kids doing their thing ... it's all rather meta ... well to a certain degree. Do not expect this to be philosophical or anything. Also it does make sense to at least have seen the previous movie. Maybe even the tv show? That I have not done (yet).

But as with the previous movie the boys (Junge as they in the german dub) are anything but a moral standard ... they are as vile and as curseful (is that a word?) as they were in the previous effort. With more mayhem and action to follow. And no prisoners taken ... and even quite the disturbing (and disgusting scenes added .. some of sexual nature, if you want to call it that) ... very disturbing stuff indeed ... and not for anyone easily offended or triggered ... better not watch this if you think you could be one of those people ...

I liked New Kids Turbo, so this one was kind of a no-brainer to watch. I expected more jokes, more edge, more stupid storylines. I got a really bland excuse of a film instead. I think the first 5 minutes were more or less promising, but the movie kind of lost its point after that. Maybe I had too high hopes for this one, but the jokes didn't seem as funny, the characters were even more disconnected than in the first movie and the story was just completely braindead. And while I do enjoy movies that are essentially loosely interconnected sketches, this one lacked the edge and came off as tired and kinda lame. Not worth a watch, let alone a rewatch.

I surprised many people by positively reviewing predecessor New Kids Turbo in 2011. After having read sympathetic reviews on successor New Kids Nitro on the IMDb website and in some papers, I sat fully prepared to enjoy myself. Alas, it proved a bitter disappointment. I cannot pinpoint any scene that did let me laugh, not even one yielding a momentary smile. Could it be that the surprise of the previous movie has worn out?

In the beginning there was a promising scene, where a young man confronts the five main characters with a long list of negative opinions about New Kids Turbo. Of course, his life ends prematurely after that, due to a clumsy policeman joining the gathering. This premature death is not a problem for me, because such a fate is fully in line with how this film usually treats adversaries as well as innocent bystanders.

From the reviews that I had read beforehand, I learned of two story lines that would eventually come together. Emphasis on "eventually", since the film makers took their time to let it develop at a very slow pace. The merger of the two story lines took off not until halfway the movie. And even then, it felt very artificial and far-fetched, offering no reason to be curious how all this would end.

Three civil servants we recognized from their previous appearance in New Kids Turbo, where they fruitlessly tried to stop the anti-taxation disease spreading under the citizens, made their appearance here as well in a similar role. Alas, they contributed little to nothing. Surely a missed chance to liven up the story with a healthy dose of satire, the central government in The Hague being an inexhaustible target for such fun.

While having none of the anticipated laughs, you get to watch for faults in the story. There were plenty of those, but I'll mention only two examples. Firstly, we see a car race end half way when someone throws a home made spiked tire on the street, suddenly stopping one of the competitors. Nevertheless, a few minutes later, both cars take off again as if nothing got in their way. Secondly, there is a crowd of zombies assembled around a touring-car, stalking our five main characters on top of the bus. For some reason or other, the zombies turn into a submissive crowd, following them all around without doing further harm to anyone. Normally I would not make a fine point of such mistakes, but if there is nothing else to comment on, what other choice does a reviewer have?

And while we are at it, complaining about details, I observed two rather tasteless scenes near the end of the film. Firstly, the way the mother was "buried" was disrespectful to say the least. It was very different from what we could expect, given the trouble taken by traveling all the way from Brabant to Friesland in an attempt to rescue her. Secondly, carrying away the zombies in a train wagon, resembled a bit too much to what we remember from WWII movies. I don't think I am alone in this.

All in all, I was disappointed, left behind with the only conclusion that the sequel missed several chances to upgrade their act, and to reach a higher level. The original casting, the crude language and the overall approach within their first movie, seems to have worn out. I observed a similar attitude among the rest of the audience, who underwent it all stoically and without many spontaneous reactions. My only positive comment is that they maintained the showing of bloopers next to the final credits (both taking half the screen). I found it a nice touch with the previous film, and it still is.

"New Kids Nitro" is a 2011 Dutch comedy directed by Steffen Haars and Flip Van der Kuil starring Huub Smit and Tim Haars. The last film was too much of a mindless fun that my brother and I couldn't help but purchasing and watching the sequel as well. What can I say? Between all of those cinematic masterpieces there needs to be time for trash like this. Oh, and I enjoy any minute I can shut my brain off and laugh at the most stupid friend group from Maaskantje. There's actually nothing to add to what I said about the first film, it's equally enjoyably terrible. Ridiculing the concept of their own show and the predecessor, the film takes place after the devastating events of "Turbo" and creates an untypical and highly questionable genre mix that really doesn't take itself seriously. It's stupidly epic and epically stupid and everything in between, but it's such a wholesome good feeling I get when I follow the deeds of the maniacs Richard, Gerrie, Barrie, Rikkert and Robbie. They might be antisocial elements and probably the worst any society has to offer, but I love those absolute idiots, especially when they are competing with a rival gang from the detested neighboring city, Schijndel. It's the ultimate showdown of the lowlifes and of course you root for Richard and his boys. In what seems to be the Netherlands's answer to "Fast and Furious" they live out their conflicts and one dirty and stupid joke follows another. If you think that's already all this film has to offer, it all suddenly turns into a zombie apocalypse feature as well. The visual effects and makeup are of course absolutely terrible, but they make it work in an extremely cheesy way. Again, their running gags and jokes caught me off guard again (zombie car race) and when Richard begins to fight like a beast to save his mother (all the while undressing himself?) it's so strangely epic and so much fun. Still better than the latest seasons of "The Walking Dead". Not (?) All in all, it remains a totally mindless guilty pleasure that lives from its likeable protagonist morons and creates a horrible genre mix. It's New Kids. Don't take it seriously, they don't even do it themselves. It's simply there to appeal to the most retarded kind of humour in all of us and doesn't want be anything else but enjoyable trash. I think I'm correct saying that we all love those lowlifes with all of our hearts. I hope there's gonna be another sequel sometime.

"New Kids Nitro" is clearly a movie that had to strike while the iron was still hot. The brief "New Kids"-sketches were an instant hit within Dutch pop culture and the first "New Kids"-movie was also well-received, so it makes sense that they wanted to squeeze every drop from this hype. But still, the movie could have used some more time and effort. There's barely any new material in this movie, just a lot of rehashed stuff from the previous outings. People still suddenly die out of nowhere, they still get in fights for the vaguest of reasons and everyone's still over-the-top trashy, but it's just not as funny as it used to be. How many times can you see a person get hit by a car and still laugh? Dozens of times obviously, but they're still pushing it. Granted, the makers are very aware of this and break the fourth wall on numerous occasions to mention exactly what I just said, but to be honest I don't really care for that. In-jokes are often just a lazy way of "fixing" your movie's shortcomings (take notes, Kevin Smith), even if some of this stuff is indeed pretty funny. My biggest pet peeve however is that they don't do enough with the one interesting new idea in the movie: the delightfully nonsensical addition of zombies. You sort of expect the last half hour of this movie to play out as an if possible even dryer version of "Shaun Of The Dead", but the final act is totally disappointing. Don't get me wrong, you'll laugh a lot during this movie, but you'll laugh at gags you've seen a hundred times before. Only for the die-hard fans.