Antfarm Dickhole

Alot of touching moments. And wacky ant scenes lol

I'm not saying that as a bad thing. It's corny as hell and would have gotten a lower midnight movie rating, however, the ant puns and dad-jokey quality of the humor made it waaaaay better.

For a B, or even a D movie that this is, there are some wonderful aspects to such a low budget, poorly acted movie as this. First, the plot is original and hilarious. Second, it has just what D movies are made for: lots of people dying, and lots of naked women. Third, it has one of the most obvious and offensive titles ever. Fourth, everyone's name and many of the words have "ant" substituted in it, such as "ant- nihilation" instead of "annihilation" and "ant-ticlimatic" instead of "anticlimactic". Fifth, the dialogue surrounding evolution and relationships is very well written and deep; juxtaposed against the poor acting and strange script makes it stick out and brilliant.

These actors own the terribleness of the story line, the people dying own being eaten alive by ants, all the while centralizing around a man masturbating a lot and shooting ants from his penis to get revenge. Oh, and the girls in the bikinis are the smartest people in the film? Classic.

This is the best movie ever made.

This is movie is the epitome of creative writing and acting. The director is Da Vinci reincarnate, the inventive nature of this genius will astonish generations to come, he has set the bar for for all future movies.

It's not really fair to this movie to even compare it to anything else, but i will do a feeble attempt anyway. This would be the equivalent of taking the story from The Godfather, visuals of Avatar (at period height), the humor from Ghostbusters, with twist that puts the 6th sense to shame, and with cinematography that can rival the combined artistry of Star Wars and Jurassic park. Mix it all in a star filled cauldron heated by the dreams of a thousand children, then poured the mix into a diamond lined mold, which would proceed to implode upon contact resulting in a massive explosion of awesome that makes Hiroshima look like a firecracker. Then you repeat this process 23 times, and the result would be Antfarm Dickhole.

Do not watch this movie, you will never be able to enjoy another movie again.

Antfarm Dickhole (2011)

1/2 (out of 4)

The title pretty much tells you what to expect out of this "Z" grade horror film. A man discovers that ants have laid a nest inside his penis and whenever he wants, they will attack those who have picked on him.

CARRIE it's not but ANTFARM DICKHOLE will probably gather a few interesting viewers who are wanting to see something wild, over-the-top and different. There's no doubt that there really hasn't been a movie like this one before and that in itself is worthy of one viewing but unless you're a major fan of these types of low-budget movies then it's doubtful you're going to be able to make it past the ten-minute mark.

The film features pretty much everything you'd expect including the awful acting, lousy editing and all around low-grade filmmaking. With that said, director Bill Zebub at least manages to create something that you can at least call original but one wishes there had been a slightly bigger budget. The film is advertising itself as having the most "WTF moments in film history" and this might be true to a point but there's still several awful moments or moments meant to be humorous that simply don't work.

One could really argue that one shouldn't be too harsh on a "film" like this and to a point I'd agree. However, at 85-minutes the movie drags incredibly long and one only wishes that it was just a two-reel short.