Love Bite

I don't like to run down British films. I knew it was going to be pretty low budget, but I've seen plenty of cheap and fun films. However, this time - when you're dealing with monsters - budget does tend to matter.

Love Bite is about a group of four teenage boys in a (fictional) English coastal town who end up being stalked by a (virgin-loving) werewolf. It's billed as a 'sexy, comedy, horror' film. The problem is... if fails on all three of those tags.

It's not sexy. There's sex in it. In fact, there's near CONSTANT talk of sex all the way through it. Sometimes it's supposed to be funny. Other times not. Either way, it's hard to tell, as none of it was particularly amusing. The lead actress is American, Jessica Szohr. She's sexy (and also the best actress in the entire film), but if you want to only see a sexy girl, I'm sure you can look enough up on the internet without having to watch this film.

It's also not funny enough to be a comedy. It thinks it's funny, but it isn't. From the start I saw they were trying to be like the (classic) Inbetweeners. However, whereas the Inbetweeners lads were all different and amusing, here we only have one likable character (a Simon rip-off) and three utter vile idiots who are nothing more than Jay-wannabes (only Jay's dialogue, although also crude, was amusing and well-written).

The film may be about werewolves, but there isn't enough budget for gore and decent monsters. Seriously, if it wasn't for the bad language and sexual nature, I'd let a child watch this film for all the gore and 'horror' that's in it.

I wish I could have liked this film, but it just dragged and I was praying for it to end. The best part about it was the police sergeant's daughter who had some great lines and came off as something other than a clichéd stereotype.

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Jessica Szohr is very beautiful. That is a fact. Since I haven't seen the TV show she is in yet, I can't say how she is as an actress or judge her in general based on this movie. It would be unfair, because the rating would not be a good one. But that is down to the character she has to portray, which is not much more than being there looking good and saying a few things.

Where the movie really loses, is in its jokes department and character development. Even though they try to be as smart and funny as any other teen sex comedy (with added horror elements), it lacks in many departments. It does pull punches on the sexuality too, when it should at least go and try to walk a like here. It never does, but has all the usual clichés ...

I thoroughly enjoyed this film. (So much so that I have now seen it twice.) True there is quite a lot of all the (crude) stuff that other reviewers have mentioned, but there is also a story line that holds together remarkably well for a film about werewolves. In the course of the film suspicion falls on various characters as to which one is actually becoming the werewolf at the time of the full moon. I felt at times I was watching a murder who-done-it. By the end of the film all the earlier 'loose ends' are tied up in a satisfying way that makes logical sense of the script. The film's characters are, to a greater or lesser extent, larger than life (if not downright quirky) - but no more so than might be reasonably expected in a film of comic fantasy. All in all I found this to be a very original story. It was well paced and kept me interested from start to finish. The seaside setting was also refreshing and occasionally provided a picturesque backdrop. In my opinion Love Bite is well worth seeing (at least once). 6/10.

I happened to stumble upon the 2012 horror comedy "Love Bite" by random chance here in 2024. Needless to say that I opted to sit down and watch it, given my love of all things horror. And I have to say that the movie's synopsis sounded interesting enough.

The storyline in the movie, however, was somewhat disappointing. There just simply wasn't enough of anything happening throughout the course of the 91 minutes that the movie ran for. So writers Ronan Blaney and Cris Cole failed to impress me with what they delivered for director Andy De Emmony to bring to the screen. The narrative was simply lacking tremendously in both the horror and comedy department. And there was a bit too much focus on lewd things, as if the narrative was written by a randy adolescent writer.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, and that is actually something I do rather enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. And it should be said that the acting performances in "Love Bite" were actually good.

Visually then "Love Bite" wasn't all that impressive. Sure, it wasn't among the worst of special effects movies that I've seen, not even remotely. But the CGI animated werewolf in the movie didn't really look realistic - well, as realistic as a make-believe fantasy creature can get - nor did it look great either. In fact, it looked like something you would find in a late 2000s computer game.

While I did manage to sit through the entire 91 minutes that "Love Bite" ran for, this is not an impressive movie. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for horror comedy fans, because you have to look long and hard to find horror or comedy here. And it is definitely not a movie that I will return to watch a second time.

My rating of "Love Bite" lands on a very generous four out of ten stars.

This is a British Comedy Horror film. I know this, because the poster said it was, but if you are looking for another Sean of the Dead, look elsewhere. I saw it in Birmingham, where there was doubt on the night whether they would show it at all. In the event, about 10 sat through it.

In a rainy, rundown seaside town four teenage boys are desperate for sex, and understandably no local girl or tourist will touch the crude, foul-mouthed boys with a barge pole. Their hunt for sex becomes all the more desperate as a werewolf starts picking off the virgins of either sex each full moon.

Enter sexy and mysterious foreign tourist, who takes a shine to one of the boys, but every full moon rejects him and disappears, only to be welcomed back with open arms when she deigns to show up again.

The 'humour' is mainly based around the boys using sauce bottle as phallic toys and the normally wonderful Timothy Spall creeping around in funny clothes and pulling funny faces. I'd guessed the identity of the werewolf early on, even though they try and build up the suspense and mystery.

It's rated as a fifteen, but I can't see anyone over 13 actually finding this funny. It doesn't bite, it sucks. It could suck lemons through a garden hose. Avoid.