The Royal Bodyguard

I sat through two episodes of this as I though maybe I was being unfair by loathing it after just ten minutes, but I wasn't. And I also think I am being generous giving it one star as this is beyond awful it has got to be the worst thing I have ever seen passed off as comedy in all my 50 plus years. It's dreadfully trite, screamingly unfunny and so badly written it's embarrassing. How on earth David Jason was persuaded to put his name and prodigious comedy acting talent to this heap of nonsense is beyond me. If anyone from the BBC is reading this, get it off and don't make any more please. And if you are planning to watch it for the first time, don't bother, visit your dentist or clean the drains instead, it'll be more fun.

David Jason returns to BBC sitcom land where he has had great success in the past.

He plays Captain Guy Hubble; an ex-guardsman who becomes the Head of Security at the Buckingham Palace car park.

He then gets promoted as the Royal Bodyguard after somehow saving the Queen's life at the State Opening of Parliament.

Geoffrey Whitehead is Colonel Dennis Whittington; Hubble's hapless boss. He knows that Hubble is useless but is unable to fire him because Hubble somehow manages to please the Queen.

You can immediately guess that Jason plays a cross between Johnny English and Inspector Clouseau with Whittington essentially being Inspector Dreyfus.

At 71 years of age, Jason is rather too old to play such a role and looks it especially as is makes demands on him physically.

It also did not help that the sitcom is so lame, predictable and lacks an ounce of originality. You know where they got their inspiration from and Jason is miscast.

David Jason is a hugely talented comic actor. Why, then, are the BBC demeaning him by giving him such a catastrophically idiotic, derivative and mirth-free script as "The Royal Bodyguard"? And who on earth gave this pathetic dross the go-ahead? This is real car-crash television: you can see the 'jokes' coming light years away. Throughout a conversation with a pianist at a grand piano, we all know David Jason's character will somehow mistakenly knock the piano cover closed. The lead-up to this century-old comedy non-starter is excruciating, though when it finally happens, it's still amazing just how limp the payoff is.

Other 'highlights': he tries to eat a lobster but doesn't know how! He tries to attack a suit of armour!! He falls into some water!!! Ahahahaha haha hahahahaha!!!!! I could understand better if this mess was a one-off special for Boxing Day, when people are generally too drunk to get up and turn the telly off - but there's a whole series of "The Royal Bodyguard" on its way.... good grief! In conclusion: unbelievably pathetic, and a hugely embarrassing failure. If a 6-year-old had written this script for a school project, it would be returned with a red line through it. An insult to the abilities of David Jason and an insult to the viewer.

Sir David Jason returns to comedy in this new role. After becoming such a huge icon through shows such as Open All Hours, A Touch Of Frost and Only Fools And Horses anything new he did was always going to pail in comparison but I don't think The Royal Bodyguard is as bad as people claim it to be.

It's very much on David Jason's head and much of it's humour derives from physical comedy. People will say that this is old fashioned but lots of people still enjoy things like Laurel and Hardy which is the same sort of thing.

It's refreshing that there are no sexual references or swearing and the BBC needs more of this.

The scripts waver from being good to lousy but there are enough good points to keep watching however you can't help but think that the bumbling fool in authority joke has been done better with Clouseau and Johnny English.

Guy Hubble saves the Queen from a runaway carriage, a faux Pas of his own making, promoted to Royal Bodyguard, he's less than competent.

When this first aired, I switched it off after ten minutes or so, having a weekend in bed unwell, I figured it was time to give it another try, and form a balanced opinion.

I can spot a comedy from Bussell and Sbresni a mile off, sometimes they nail it, sometimes they get it horribly wrong, this sadly is the latter.

I watched every episode, and must confess my laughter equipment had less than half a workout, painfully unfunny jokes, some wooden acting, and poor Sir David Jason looking like he was set adrift in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in just a rowing boat.

Positives, Geoffrey Whitehead, he's the one shining light, when he's given half decent lines, he delivers with his usual brand of caustic, sarcastic wit. I have to admit to rather enjoying the fifth episode, where Guy goes undercover at Number ten, totally over the top and silly, but it broke the mould of every other formulaic episode, and Jason seemed to have fun as Sandra.

It's unsurprising that it was axed after just a single series, it really didn't work, I am surprised it made it to BBC 1.

4/10.