Dear God No!

DEAR GOD NO! is a straight-out homage to the grindhouse flicks of the 1970s; in particular it seems to be a cross between THE EVIL DEAD and a random biker movie. Instead of being a real film, this is an ultra low budget production packed to the brim with outrageously cheesy gore effects, depraved humour, and female nudity.

I found it repulsive in the extreme, but not for the reasons you'd think. The exploitation elements are all well and good, but it's the script that truly repulsed me. It's dumb beyond belief, full of repetitive cursing and nothing else. The characters are portrayed as the stupidest people imaginable, and despite the presence of a large gang of bikers there are no individuals here - they're all a bland, faceless group.

The plot is non-existent and only serves to link the various exploitation sequences. The degradation of women plays a pivotal role, with the female roles limited to monsters, strippers, or victims. Sleaziness hangs over the whole production, and as a whole this is the type of film that nobody in their right mind could enjoy. Rodriguez's PLANET TERROR is still my favourite of the grindhouse tributes in existence and in comparison this is nothing, it wasn't even worth making a film.

Not sure where this came from but I like it. This beyond awesome and heavy on the upper female nudity flick is pretty far out crazy. It's a biker film made by perverts for perverts. You will definitely feel like a dirty person while laughing at the demented dark humor. It's very funny in a "not quite right" sort of way. Outlaw bikers run up against an insane Nazi conducting mad experiments on his family members and the local wildlife. When these worlds (different genres) collide it gets totally wacky (the horror genre!) and delivers buckets of the marinara sauce. It's staggering how much is packed into this film from Psychedelic Drug movies, Nazisploitation, Nunsploitation, Biker, Spaghetti Western, Monster Movies, Home Invasion flicks (Last House on the Left), Nature Gone Bad Films, Hicksploitation, etc. Even more staggering, it actually works. For such an outrageously convoluted film, it all comes together without any loose ends. The plot twists are different from your standard Revenge film, get crazier every 15 minutes and you never quite know where this thing is going until the very last frame which will hit you like a Drano enema. It's not a comedy. It's full of scares, shocks and seat clawing tension. Did I mention the female parts? Loaded with every size. Every actress looses their clothes. Quite wonderful. I'm not sure when this thing is being released on DVD but I saw it with an audience and you should too. It screams audience participation. It was so nice to see something other than stupid teens in the stupid woods. I thank the perverts who made this and made my day. See it.

Ultra cheap, ultra stupid, the worst bunch of "actors" you've ever seen. This disaster of a movie isn't even mildly entertaining. Even the few gore effects are lame and the topless girls are ugly. The fact that the film was made to look like a 70s biker flick gets boring very fast. Don't waste 2 hours of your life... I mean, 1 hour and 10 minutes of your life with this garbage on celluloid. Anyway, the worst thing is the "creature" at the end of the movie. It is clearly a guy in a very very cheap costume and so laughable it will make you cringe. Sadly, this is not a movie "so bad it's good". It is just awfully bad. Go watch something else!

(25%) A movie that on the one hand is a fair and honest homage to bad biker movies with their dire story telling, terrible writing, and woeful production values that in a parameter of sleazy trash cinema works as an actual throw-back, but on the other hand you cannot help but think that Quentin Tarrantino has a fair amount to answer for. It's clear this in its own way wants to be a bad film taken from within the boundaries of a low budget sleaze picture from the early to mid 70's, but is that achievement in itself worthy of actual merit? I'm not entirely sure. There are times when this does feel like the genuine article, but again is that worthy of merit? I'm somewhat split on this one. Yes, this is a really bad movie, and yes that was the whole point, but that doesn't mean this is 100% not worth a look for the cult fans out there. For those with zero interest in the old, hugely flawed films need not apply.

As a self proclaimed expert on biker movies (I've seen them all), this one is totally out to lunch. It's a bad egg oddity that would have to be put into a category all by itself. Caged up and left alone. What makes it different? It's evil. Everything about it is ugly and mean spirited. These bikers are not people you can identify with but they are not really the villains either. These goons are light years away from the cheesy pretty boy or grease monkey depictions you see on Sons of Anarchy or Hell Ride. They're even different than the glorified image of real bikers in The Wild Angels and Hell's Angels on Wheels. They are probably close to the real thing circa The Hell's Angels 1965 than has ever graced the silver screen. These are murdering, raping, filthy mouthed scum of the earth. They party hardy. The film feels like it was made by real life criminals. I would not like to meet them.