Un grand mariage

I don't even know where to start on how absolutely bad this movie is.

I typically only write reviews when a movie is unexpectedly great, or moving in one way or another. But I felt compelled to write a review for this movie, if nothing else than to send a message to Hollywood that viewers are actually smarter then they give us credit.

You would think with a movie that features not one, not two, not three but four or more major actors would at least be tolerable. Wrong. Did I miss something, are actors just like the rest of us, living from paycheck to paycheck, barely making end's meet? That's the only excuse that would "maybe" allow me to accept why some of these people took these roles. Or perhaps there was an old "debt" that needed to be repaid to a director or studio? There must be some excuse, because anybody with any kind of preservation for their career would have passed. Robert (De Niro), are you serious? I watched you accept a lifetime achievement award a year or two ago and you went on and on about all the crappy roles you've accepted in recent years (including "Little Fockers", which by the way is head and shoulders about this movie) - and yet here you are again. ??? Please don't tell me YOU need a paycheck too?

Bottom line: I would not be completely surprised if this movie wasn't written on the back of a bar napkin at some cheesy off the road place over the period of a couple hours. Character development is extremely shallow and inconsistent and story cohesion and development is about non-existent.

Do yourself a favor and watch something else. Anything.

"The Big Wedding" seems to be following in the footsteps of the recent Hollywood romantic comedies – gather as many big name stars as you can and put them all in a romantic comedy storyline. It's the best of the bunch, even though that's not saying anything at all. It's also based on a French film "Mon frère se marie", and that's not really saying all that much either.

Any description of the plot is just going to read as a listing of who's who of Hollywood. But let's do it anyways: We have the patriarch and matriarchs (Robert De Niro and Diane Keaton and Susan Sarandon); we have the up-and-comers excited for their big day (Ben Barnes and Amanda Seyfried); and then we have the middle siblings who have had their time in the spotlight and are starting to fade away (Topher Grace and Katherine Heigl).

The wedding revolves around lies (obviously) and religion - with Robin Williams as the drunken Catholic priest. And it also includes lots and lots of sex jokes. The surprising thing that audiences are taking away from this film, especially in spite of the decidedly negative critics' responses, is that it is hilarious. Fans of the film will find themselves laughing from beginning to end. But to give you fair warning, all of the jokes are sexually-based, and I mean all of them.

Laughing at the Catholic stigma of don't have sex but if you do, don't be safe; laughing at people who have too much sex; laughing at people who don't have sex; and worse of all, laughing at divorced and married couples who have sex with one another. While some of the jokes were funny, they're also responsible for creating the uneasy dynamic amongst the characters – all of whom are family (or, at least, are about to become in-laws). At times the film crosses the line from funny dysfunctional family to repulsive dysfunctional family.

The one line that "The Big Wedding" straddles well is that between comedy and drama. The film is effective when it moves from funny jokes to touching family honesty and back to some more funny jokes. The story lines are very predictable, and sometimes the jokes are too simple and too wrong, but it tries to add in the right amount of drama, and ultimately, it should be entertaining to fans of the genre.

The Big Wedding (2013)

** (out of 4)

An all-star cast does what they can for this romantic comedy but sadly it's not nearly enough. Robert DeNiro and Diane Keaton play a former married couple who finds their adopted son about to be married. The only problem is that his real mother is very strict and wouldn't approve of his in-laws not being married so the two plan to pretend that they're still married, which causes trouble with the father's girlfriend (Susan Sarandon). THE BIG WEDDING features not only those three Oscar-winners but we've also got Robin Williams playing a priest and the supporting cast includes the likes of Katherine Heigl, Amanda Seyfried and Topher Grace. With that cast it seems like we'd have something special here but that's not the case because the screenplay is just too silly, tame and boring for it to work. I love the cast and they helped keep me interested in the movie but they simply don't have anything to work with, which then begs the question as to why they agreed to be in it. The problem is that the screenplay gives us so many "stories" going on and none of them are all that interesting. You have love triangles, pregnancy issues, virgin issues, speaking issues and countless other family issues and none of them are funny. You have jokes aimed at Catholics and various sex jokes but these to are unfunny. The film tries to be somewhat raunchy but even these jokes are just too tame to work and especially in this current state of raunchy comedies. There are a few funny moments throughout and it's usually the cast member's charm that is making it. The cast members do what they can but no one here is delivering Oscar-worthy performances. Seeing DeNiro, Keaton and Sarandon acting together is fun but one really wishes the material had been better. Heigl adds nothing to the film and even Seyfried and Grace are pretty much given nothing to do but stand in the background. THE BIG WEDDING has a big cast but very little else. At best this is for fans of the cast members but even them will just want to save this for a very cheap ticket or a free rental.

Over all the movie was a bit of a disappointment even though I've been looking forward to seeing it for quite some time (Not for the big A- list case either), Rather I was looking forward to seeing the Talents of Ben Barnes back on the big screen. I wasn't disappointed in that regard. His portrayal of Alejandro was brilliant, his American accent was exact and his Spanish was impressive as well. I thought Al and Missy were adorable, but the movie itself had way too much going on. Just when you thought the story line couldn't get any crazier something stupider happened and by the end it was hard to keep everything that was going on straight. It had endearing and sweet family moments that were really it's only saving grace. If you had cut out half the random story lines and the random awkward sexual parts that...for the record did not add to the plot line, it would have been a great movie but as usual a potentially good film is ruined with crude comedy. That being said some of the story lines that had been supplemented by crude comedy were amusing story lines but were sort of ruined.

'Valentines Day,' 'New Year's Eve,' 'Love Actually,' etc. etc., all movies with 'stellar' casts that were barely watchable. Well, this one tops even those. Absolutely horrendous script that had my wife chuckling a few times but me wondering when this tripe would end. I can't imagine how embarrassed the performers would be if they were forced to sit and watch it. I honestly don't know how movies like this get made, especially with such casts. The only thing I can think of is that it gives the actors a quick payday without having to work very hard, so who can blame them really. I'm glad we went to the cheap matinée.

In short, the jokes are all sex-related and not funny, many of the lines seem to have been bad ad-libs, one character speaks in subtitles in a poor attempt to add sophistication to the movie (and she's very annoying at that), and you couldn't care less what happens to any of the characters. Oh, and it has Amanda Seyfried and Kathryn Heigle, who's tracks to stardom are proof that God exists.

If you're reading this after the fact, I feel your pain.