Scary

This movie makes "The Hole" (3-D) look like "Citizen Kane". What am I trying to say? That for adults this will probably not work at all. While the mixture of the Hole (targeting adults and kids in a Horror movie) might not have worked all the time, it did achieve something. The movie right here has a lot of flaws, some of them being the giant holes in the story itself.

In Horror movies we are used to characters doing irrational things, but the movie almost seems to have the goal of topping even the most ridiculous of your expectations. What I really liked was the very moody beginning. And I guess if you are in the right age and/or not familiar with Horror movies, this might actually scare you a little. But if that doesn't apply to you, I suggest you use your time for something more satisfying.

But with a little too much gore for the kids. Couldn't explain it any better than that. It was a little corny and ridiculous at times, just like Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of The Dark but no magic shop with "Sardo." I've definitely seen worse high budget movies.

You can tell from the title alone that "Under the Bed" is attempting to pay homage to the host of other child-horror movies that proceeded it in the eighties. You can see there is real love for films like "Gremlins" "Monster Squad" and even "Poltegeist." The story starts out well enough with a teenage boy returning home years after a tragic event took his mother's life. His younger brother is happy to see him back, but old wounds from the past resurface and both boys are put in a position where they must choose to finally confront the monster that has been plaguing their family for years. The major problem with "Under the Bed" is that it really has no idea what kind of movie it wants to be. Moments in the movie have an innocence long lost throughout the years of horror, but at other times it attempts to be too grown up for its own good by using profanity and generous amounts of fake blood. If this was the movies only sin, we could probably give it a pass, but it is not. The script is shaky to say the least, while many parts throughout simply do not make sense. It also does not help that the shoestring budget is very evident up until the last 20 minutes of the movie. I certainly respect the guts of all involved in trying to accomplish this feat on what little they had to work with, but there are much more suitable, and frankly better child horror movies to sit down and watch for ninety minutes.

This is a difficult film to review, as it appears a loving and sincere tribute to old school video store rental horror from days gone by, but slides a little too off the rails to truly get excited about. First, we meet Neal, a teen with a mysterious past, now returning home. Reconnecting with his younger brother Paulie, the two slowly uncover what forced Neal away. Convinced he was crazy, and after his mother's death, Neal was sent away to live with relatives in Florida. Neal discovers Paulie has dealt with the same mysterious being that tortured him in the past. Of course his father thinks he's crazy, and his well meaning step mom tries, but does not understand. The boys will have to face what lies under the bed - alone. There's a fascinating setup, but the payoff is all over the place. The brothers are great in their roles. The parents appropriately hapless. I think vintage horror fans will enjoy, but the back half of the movie is confusing and feels less developed than the first. It's an interesting idea and throwback to simpler times, that just doesn't gel the way it should. For genre fans only.

This movie smells a lot like "Phatasm". Instead of the tall man and the flying spheres you get a smoke machine and a hunchback in a foam-covered wetsuit. There's also an evil dimension with a lot of coloured lamps and sheets. The biggest win however is the angry dad character, whose crowning achievement is the "grow the f.#k up" speech towards the middle of the film. It's hilarious to see him respond to his children in the way that he does. Basically it goes something like this: child: "A demon ate our mommy." Dad: "Get a job." I can't believe the actors went along with dialogue this bad without protesting or at least laughing.

The script could have been written by a pre-school student. Ooh there's like a monster under the bed and you have to sleep on cupboards. You can't touch the floor. And sometimes like the washing machines kind of wobble when it's mad. If you could judge this movie by normal standards I would say one out of ten, but how can you apply a normal scaling when a movie has become so bad it's good? Also to be fair the crew did a good job with the low budget they had for the monster scenes. Especially the heads getting ripped off.