Ambrosia

It's hard to find good lesbian movies and this is definitely not one of them. It is one of the slowest most boringness movie ever. The most interesting part of this movie is the pizza. Don't even waste your time.

I kept in mind as I watched that this was not a pro-lesbian movie, or even necessarily an anti-lesbian movie. It sounded to me like a movie where a woman (fashion designer! how cool!) is in a bad work situation where her boss is hitting on her inappropriately.

Indeed, that's what it was. I found the premise interesting and that's what I got... sort of. What made this movie bad was:

• it was unconvincing and unrealistic

• seemed like it wanted to make a point or follow a theme (traditional vs modern, sexuality, fidelity, family, racial tensions) but they were scattered and weak

• pointless scenes and conversation

• none of the characters seem to matter

• embarrassingly flat script, most regrettably at the "climax" of the film

and another point, which I'm not sure is good or bad:

• unabashed focus on hot model-looking women and their high fashion outfits, even with side characters

I have to say, there were a lot of beautiful dresses and outfits here. It is the strongest element in the entire movie, and I found it enjoyable. They could have trimmed this movie into a clothing catalog and I would have liked it. This point bumped it from a 2 to a 3 for me. The Iranian decor and Iranian lines tossed throughout were cool, too. That was about it.

Honestly, it felt like I was watching The Room, but a fashion themed one with much less sex (which I am fine with--I'm not sure this movie could have handled sex gracefully either). I'm not much of a movie snob but I felt like turning it off after 15 minutes. Maybe I should have. But I decided to write a review instead.

Ok it's not great. But I've seen Way worse. Pretty flat overall and the acting is not strong. The outfits are good and the women are pretty. It wasn't very realistic in a number of aspects. The inappropriate advances of her lesbian boss somehow cause her to question her marriage but it doesn't make sense why. It doesn't feel like there's much of a climax, when there almost is, it kind of falls flat. So not 'good' but not the worst.

Iran is home to one of the world's oldest continuous major civilizations, with historical and urban settlements dating to 7000 BC. That having been said, I would have liked to have seen more of why the movie ended as it did. This is not a movie with naked bodies and sex. Rather, it looks at life and our decisions. The protagonist, a woman, makes up her own mind, as it should be. Just because someone does not like her decision does not make it a bad movie. To me, it was true to life. The protagonist's husband's temper was stupid but not abusive. And for a traditional Iranian man, he was on the radical left, as many in Iran are to this day.

But more than that, sexual harassment in the workplace is real: How refreshing to see a different take on the problem. I had a sexually frisky boss once, and like the protagonist, I believe employees should have the right to express their feelings and still keep their job. If the boss won't take no for an answer, what better place to tell him or her about it than in the John?

Yes, the ending was cheesy, and the writing could have been much better. But I liked it. It was an adult movie for thinkers. Watch it until the end. That's when it's okay to go yuck or whatever. I just hope there was room for the protagonist to grow. She earned it.

Literally the worst movie I've ever seen. Offensive on so many levels. This movie is not a lesbian film. It's a lesbian-as-predator film. It's disgusting. I'm offended. It's literally the most offensive movie that I've ever seen in 40 years on this planet. It's a disgusting film that only the most conservative person would enjoy. Even then, the conservative person would probably wonder why they wasted their time on this foolish, horrid movie. I was rather excited when I started watching the film, then I started laughing because I thought it might be a badly acted lesbian film. Turns out that it's an anti-lesbian film. I had been live tweeting as I watched and urging my 1000+ followers to watch, but once the film finished I deleted all my tweets and urged everyone to avoid the film. Screw you. Worst movie ever.